[AAAAA]

About 12 years ago my husband severly injured his back at work. It took over a year to get him to go to a doctor. That was a fiasco, he went to the local jack of all trades doctor that the company contracts with who very nearly cripled him for life. Evenutally our trusted family doctor told him Dr. X is the man to see, he's the best in the state and it's your right to see him. Dr. X examined hubby's records and films and agreed to take him on as a patient. But it then took five years to convince him to get the surgery that would give him some relief.

I seriously thought he'd end up addicted to the pain meds. He was chewing oxy like candy in an effort to control his pain. In his sleep any slight movement would cause him to scream out in pain waking him up. He had the surgery and to my relief quit taking the pain meds two days after the surgery. For the next five years things went pretty well, if he over did something, he'd be in a great deal of pain, but other than that it was "manageable" (using only OTC motrin).

Being a man (sorry men out there reading this) he is either unwilling or unable to admit his limitations. For the last sixish years his back has had a major flare up twice. The first time he really had no clue that it would happen, he bent over to pick up something he'd dropped and it was enough to put him out of whack. The second time he did some heavy, awkward lifting that he should have known better than to do.

Well a few weeks ago, he stuck his head up his butt and was pulling wires, they broke and the combination of twisting/falling was enough to put him back in the red pain level again, with the added bonus of having his three small toes numb.

Luckily this scared him enough to make an immediate appointment with his specialist. But he's back to his pre-surgery pain level. The pain meds and muscle relaxants make it so that he can get some sleep, but moving or turning makes him scream out in pain. He'll actually cry in his sleep and not even know it.

I don't know if it's the meds (vicodin, muscle relaxants, and steroids), the pain, or the hoops he has to jump through to get proper medical care or a combination of them all, but he's so depressed and dispondent. When I try to talk to him about it he just keeps repeating "I just can't block out the pain anymore".

I just don't know what to do anymore. I know that the medical treatment crap will resolve itself because Dr. X is the best in the state, he's above reproach and who they go to if there is a question. When he had to see the workman's comp specialist the appointment took literally five minutes. But that doesn't change the nurse at his company's attitude. She's very bitter because this doctor's assistant put her in her place, flat out telling her she's an LPN, he's an MD and her opinion is not welcome.

So it doesn't help that she gives him crap about his appointments and their "lack of open communication". But there's just nothing here I can fix.

[Inny2009]

Im sorry everything is so rough right now. I going to go ahead and give this a guess...but the reason he seems despondent is that he is trying to mentally leave his body and overcome the pain...thats why when you try to talk to him he says he just cant block it out anymore and thats exactly why he is so isolated. His back is probably really excruiating and a humans way of dealing with it is trying to turn inward and fix it..even though its not working. I have pain issues and thats how i deal with it...so we are all different but id figure id give it shot to explain. He is probably depressed cause its not getting better...he cant get over it himself...and probably like men (sorry men if your reading this and dont like this) they think if they cant handle the pain they are less manly...which is definitely not true...if i were you i would let him know you were there but i would also back off...say if you need to talk or need anything im here and i support you. Otherwise kinda back off cause if you dont that might increase his feelings of feeling like he cant take care of it himself. Im not sure about the whole doctor thing...im alittle confused on that ...but perhaps you can go back to Dr. X. explain the situation and see what he recommends and dont even bother with his work doctor. Then ask Dr. X if he has any ideas how to go about workmans comp or if he can write orders on what your husband can and cannot do. If he writes an order saying that this is a work related injury and this is what happened and this what needs done then send it in to your insurance agency and they will take it from there. Im not real good on knowing what to do though about work and insurance stuff though that would be an option id think. Good luck! Sending many wishes of good health to your husband AND you!!!!

[AAAAA]

Thanks so much Inny. He has gone back to Dr. X, so I have faith that he's in good hands. Dr. X is three hours away, which is definately worth the trip but the nurse he has to deal with through the company is a witch about this. For example Dr. X has ordered an MRI (which any good dr would do) to see how much damage has been done and the nurse is "why do you have to get it there, why can't you get it here. I don't like dealing with him."

What is so frustrating is that it's not the injury that is in question. The original accident was witnessed by a dozen people, the damage to his spine/disks is visible on MRI and other scans. She just likes to gossip and this doctor gives her only the information she needs to complete the paperwork.

[VickiesPath]

Originally Posted by AAAAA

Thanks so much Inny. He has gone back to Dr. X, so I have faith that he's in good hands. Dr. X is three hours away, which is definately worth the trip but the nurse he has to deal with through the company is a witch about this. For example Dr. X has ordered an MRI (which any good dr would do) to see how much damage has been done and the nurse is "why do you have to get it there, why can't you get it here. I don't like dealing with him."

What is so frustrating is that it's not the injury that is in question. The original accident was witnessed by a dozen people, the damage to his spine/disks is visible on MRI and other scans. She just likes to gossip and this doctor gives her only the information she needs to complete the paperwork.

I think she is entirely unprofessional. If your guy is top in the state then she should be more than happy to let him have whoever he wants do the MRI. That's not saying much for her regard for the profession. In the long run it saves money on a poor read.

[AAAAA]

Oh she gives unprofessional an entirely new meaning. The reason she called Dr. X the first time was to discuss my husband's work restrictions, he had none. She did not feel that this was appropriate. Dr. X's PA assured her that based upon the written job description provided by the company and my husband's own account that no restrictions were necessary at this time, if his job requirements were to change then the restrictions would be re-examined at that time.

She's just trying to make things difficult, this somehow makes her feel important.