Sex & Chronic Back Pain! Am I alone here?

Hello again everyone! I posted a few days or so ago, but I did not receive as much advice on this subject as I would have liked to. This is a really big dilema for me right now. I am 48 years old, in menopause, and to top it off, I have Degenerative Disk Disease. The disease has changed my whole life. Not to mention my husbands. Am I alone here? Or is anyone out there going through this same problem? If so, please share your story with me.

I love my husband of over 20 years. And I know that he loves me. But I can't help worrying that this disease will push us apart. I'm a grown woman. I know that my husband who is only 43 years old, has needs. I'm scared! I'm scared that by having sex, he will hurt me. Not intentionally of course. But none the less, I'm afraid that something could go wrong, and I will end up damaging my back & spine even worse than it is now. I have 2 bulging disks, with nerve descending. And if any of you have this same disease with bulging disks, you know that if the disks hit the exposed nerves, the pain is excruciating. PLEASE give me your input. All advice is welcome. Thanks a bunch!
Candi

having a hard time right now mentally, but wanted to let you know YOUR NOT ALONE!!!!

I suffer the same at 24 years old and it affects my sex life too.

Soon as im feeling up to it ill send some advice.

sorry so short.

I do know how you feel. I have bulge c3 - c7. problem l3 l4 and in the lower part of my back yes it does change. We have to be carefull and experiment. this is something both of you can talk about and see if there is something that works for both of you. Good luck

I, too, don't wish to elaborate, but you are not alone. This is a big issue for many with chronic pain, and I would suspect a real issue regarding divorces

With most 3rd party lawsuits of injury, there is a clause about "loss of conjugal rights" meaning the spouse is claiming a loss for that sexual closeness.

TC

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I'll go with the be creative and see what works. I have DD and I will say that it affects every aspect of one's life. There are many places to learn about creative solutions to your concern.

http://www.mc.uky.edu/patiented/PDF/...ust%202003.pdf

there are many many links available. just type in back pain and sex. good luck!

I know that I am coming in late on this one, but better later than never..... RIGHT?

I have been married for 20 years and sex is very much an important part of our marriage and with me having RA, FIBRO, and Bursitis the overwhelming PAIN that often occurs can put me (and the marriage bed) out of commission for some time to come.

What I have personally found is that it helps to keep the communication line open and always without any misunderstandings, and BTW - both my husband and I have found that slow and easy can be just as good, if not better some times.

Take it slow and always talk to your husband about ALL your concerns, and most of all remember that HE loves YOU and YOU alone... and that by taking care of your self when you are not able to indulge in the most wonderful bonding experience of making love with your husband will do both YOU and HIM good in the long run.

LoVe,
Rhapsody -

Remember there are other "ways" to attain sexual pleasure too that don't involve intercourse.