[lonestar53]

Well just trying to reach out here and see who else is hurting at this moment or maybe you don't want to talk about it but I just took my meds and writting takes my mind off it for awhile and the pain I am talking starts with my left shoulder 7 times around with surgery and think they finaly solved the prolem well lets hope so my arms are not that big ok I'll go on but if this sounds like whinning you can stop reading or else next I have headaches / right leg-hip pain my right should is not working my right pops whe I walk oh other then that I'm fine except being on Disability because of Depression and my back ok I'm done if this bore you to bad I sure would like to hear back from you Thanks

[gayleggg]

I'm sorry you are in so much pain. Right now I'm not having much pain and have just (I think) recovered from plantar faciitis. That really kept me sedentary for some time. I don't know if it's cured or I'm just benefiting from the shot of cortisone. It leaves me afraid to do too much because I'm afraid of aggravating it again.

I hope they got your should fixed up and that it will heal quickly.

I'm on disability due to bipolar II disorder. I feel guilty about it some days as I have good days and bad days, but the least little bit of stress pushes me over the edge back into depression. I try to find things to keep myself busy and active but some days it's really hard.

Anytime you need to talk you are welcome to PM me.

[lonestar53]

Originally Posted by gayleggg

I'm sorry you are in so much pain. Right now I'm not having much pain and have just (I think) recovered from plantar faciitis. That really kept me sedentary for some time. I don't know if it's cured or I'm just benefiting from the shot of cortisone. It leaves me afraid to do too much because I'm afraid of aggravating it again.

I hope they got your should fixed up and that it will heal quickly.

I'm on disability due to bipolar II disorder. I feel guilty about it some days as I have good days and bad days, but the least little bit of stress pushes me over the edge back into depression. I try to find things to keep myself busy and active but some days it's really hard.

Anytime you need to talk you are welcome to PM me.

Hey Thanks for writting back feels good to have someone else to talk to about pain and again I hopw your pain is bearable for you soon as I get better with this shoulder I am going to try and set a little shop in the basement and do woodworking that is what use to help me with Depression but I haven't been doing that lately well gota go and again Thanks

[Breckman]

Originally Posted by lonestar53

Well just trying to reach out here and see who else is hurting at this moment or maybe you don't want to talk about it but I just took my meds and writting takes my mind off it for awhile and the pain I am talking starts with my left shoulder 7 times around with surgery and think they finaly solved the prolem well lets hope so my arms are not that big ok I'll go on but if this sounds like whinning you can stop reading or else next I have headaches / right leg-hip pain my right should is not working my right pops whe I walk oh other then that I'm fine except being on Disability because of Depression and my back ok I'm done if this bore you to bad I sure would like to hear back from you Thanks

I truly understand what your going through.I suffer never ending mid back pain.No doctor has done a thing yet for me except take my money.I've did it all-shots,pills,PT,Active Release Therapy,Chiro,every kind of stretch known to man,still no relief.Only thing i've not done is surgery.This has been on going for the last 10 years.I occasionally get a good day only to be followed by a relapse,never completely pain free ever though.I've been moving to a new home and the heavy lifting has caused a severe flare up.I really don't know what dr to try next as i've been to so many.I guess it sounds like i'm whinning.

[lizardlady]

Hi Lonestar. I can't imagine having seven surgeries for the same problem! I hope they have finally solved the problem.

Chronic pain and depression can be extra difficult to deal with. My pdoc agrees with me that if the average person was in pain 24/7 they would feel depressed. Add being depressed in the first place and the person has a hard row to go. Some times when my pain level is flaring and I start slipping into depression it helps me to acknowledge that anyone in pain is apt to be down. That acknowledgement helps me cope. It doesn't do anything about the pain, but helps me realize I'm having a common reaction to what's happening with my body.

[ihatepain]

Originally Posted by lonestar53

Well just trying to reach out here and see who else is hurting at this moment or maybe you don't want to talk about it but I just took my meds and writting takes my mind off it for awhile and the pain I am talking starts with my left shoulder 7 times around with surgery and think they finaly solved the prolem well lets hope so my arms are not that big ok I'll go on but if this sounds like whinning you can stop reading or else next I have headaches / right leg-hip pain my right should is not working my right pops whe I walk oh other then that I'm fine except being on Disability because of Depression and my back ok I'm done if this bore you to bad I sure would like to hear back from you Thanks

Hey there. I just found this site. I read your post and I'm so sorry for the ordeal you are going through. I don't know if this will help or not but here's a piece I almost didn't write (and almost didn't share) about physical pain:

Here is the text from my blog:

What I have learned so far in 2015…Physical Pain is a BEAST. The year has only just begun and yet it could be one of the most significant months I have had in my life…this particular January in the year 2015.

I am in physical pain. Not right this minute and not even every day, but for the first time in my life I have had the misfortune (and the good fortune in some ways) to meet Physical Pain. I have been damn lucky in life. I have never seriously injured myself and I have only had the usual bumps and bruises and cuts and scrapes that go along with a. my being a clutz and b. well…my being a clutz.

Very recently, I injured my lower back. The details aren’t the part that is most interesting to me (although I have learned a lot about my body and the blessings of physical therapy during this time). It is the emotional details wrapped up in my Physical Pain that have fascinated me the most. How will I treat others in those moments when I am in pain? How will I now treat myself from this moment forward? These became questions for me in a way that they never had before.

I should first mention that I got off lucky. The lower back pain I feel is not even remotely close to the kind of pain endured by the character in the movie “Cake” or the pain endured by many who suffer from debilitating cancer or the aftermath of surgery or the symptoms of other diseases or those who have injured themselves in tremendously severe ways that may or may not eventually heal.

I am talking about chronic pain. “Chronic” – now there’s a word I have not thought of often in my life, but that I think about often now. It is seismic in its power…chronic pain. Chronic pain is like no other. There is chronic emotional pain…depression, anxiety, phobias, etc….and that is something I have written about frequently in the past. On the other side of the coin, though, there is Physical Pain…wow…it feels endless. It may or may not be endless, but it certainly feels that way – and that is one hell of a strain on the mind and the emotions.

Just wow. Physical Pain woke me up and I didn’t even know I was sleeping. Physical pain kicked me in the *** and screamed at me “you IDIOT, you have a BODY and you better damn well remember to take care of it or I am NOT going away…I will be the pain in your back and everywhere else for the rest of your time on this earth.”

Physical Pain…I have never experienced anything like it.

I stop myself at that last sentence because I realize the words above aren’t doing it for me today in trying to write successfully about this subject. Words are words are words….finding the right ones is a ***** when it comes to this subject. How does one find the words to talk about something as profound as Physical Pain? It is like attempting to write about Death or Love or God…it is too BIG.

It is something that is too big to express in mere words. Speaking of lower back pain by itself, each movement is a razor sharp slash in the muscle and/or the joint. This is combined with a dull ache that travels and sits, travels and sits. I stretch and there is the good pain that comes from stretching…the healing pain that tells me I am getting better — and then there is the scary pain when I turn the wrong way and ask myself, “holy crap, have I done it again? Have I re-injured myself?” The whole thing sucks.

Then there is the sleeping. The mother****ing sleeping. Trying to find a comfortable position and never getting there. Moving from back to side to stomach. Stretching and turning and tossing around trying to find a spot where pain will slide into sleep. Blessed sleep.

I don’t take the drugs (prescribed medications). I don’t want to get past this with chemicals. I’ve seen the good and the bad of chemicals and I know about addiction. I’m not going down that road. I’d rather be in pain. I meditate. I stretch….and I meditate some more. I perform Reiki healing on myself. Being a Reiki healer has definitely helped me in recent days. (I really want to emphasize strongly that no one reading this should take this as medical advice on any level – every person is absolutely different and every person should deal with their pain only with the guidance of their own physician (not from a blog on the internet).

Does any of this sound like I’m *****ing? I suppose. I think maybe *****ing here and now is good for me. Finally. It feels like *****ing is part of the healing process. I don’t ***** much in real life, not out loud to actual other humans. Few in my world in real life even know I am in pain. I cover it over. I smile and push my way through it in my cheerful way….because I am proud.

I am nothing if not proud. I am an idiot about it, but I’m proud. I fear being pitied. I would rather die…flat out die…than be a victim. I’ve seen the victim mindset and it is not for me.

I am also grateful. Gratitude keeps me from *****ing out loud. I am smart. I know that the pain could be sooooooooooooooooo very much worse than it is and I also know that it is NOTHING, NOTHING, NOTHING compared to the pain of those I have seen in person and on my television set.

I am determined. I am proud. I am grateful. I am also angry. I am angry at myself. I am angry at myself that I took my body for granted for so long. I am angry at myself for believing that I must be the hero….but I do. I do believe I am responsible for my own problems and if I want to not be the victim, than I must be the opposite…I must be the hero.

The above is total stream of consciousness. It’s funny because I am an intellectual in many respects. My brain rules my life in many ways, but in this piece I realized that I cannot be intellectual…not if I want to connect with you, the reader – you, the person who knows pain.

Of all the topics I have written about (and there have been many), it took Physical Pain for me to finally dig as deep as I need to dig to really express the ****ed-up, strange, intensely powerful, surreal and very ‘REAL’ phenomenon that IS Physical Pain.

My brain knows that my pain will leave and my injury will heal, but that doesn’t do me much good when I am in the thick of it, so I return again to gratitude. I am grateful for this pain because while I freakin’ hate it, I also love it for reminding me again how very, very human and vulnerable I am. It is the ultimate irony that it will be my vulnerability that will bring me to a place of healing…not my pride. My vulnerability reminds me that I am like everyone else. I am not different. I have always been proud because I have believed that I am different, that I can conquer any challenge, overcome any obstacle. ********. I am not different. I am strong, but I am no different. Most of all, I am not invincible. Nobody is.

Why did I think I was different? Why did I think I would be better at handling Physical Pain (or any other kind of pain for that matter) than others? It was because of my pride. Well, screw pride. Today I embrace my fear, my vulnerability, my confusion.

I celebrate my vulnerability because it will take me to new (and scary) places that I need to go to really be who I want to be. It’s such a long, long, long journey and it is lonely and painful and scary as hell at times, but it is SUPPOSED to be this way, and traveling this road is the only way I am going to survive.

I suppose, at the end of the day, what I really want is for you, the reader, to know that I “get it”. I do. I get how hard this all is. I get that emotional and physical pain suck and sometimes only increase in their horribleness as time gets by. I also get that it’s up to me to push through the pain, cry and scream and rant and ***** until I cross over to the other side. I’m probably never going to do that out loud to actual people (still, with the damn pride thing), but right here, right now, I am going to do it to you…because I think maybe some of you may need to read it as much as I need to write it.

So, that’s it. For anyone reading this who knows what I’m talking about (which I am guessing is a great many of you), just know that I am with you every step of the way.

As for Pain of all kinds: Feel it. ***** about it. Curse it. Scream at it. Kick it in the ***.

Most important, please keep this constant thought in your head: you are not alone. It may not help much, but I am hoping it may give you a split second of faith (or longer). I hope.

End

It's hard for me to talk about, but I totally get it. Physical therapy has worked for me so I am hoping it will work for you also.

I send you many healing thoughts and tons of love. I really hope you feel better.

c

[MsGardenias]

Chronic pain eventually affects EVERY aspect of our lives... and THAT is what pain-free people simply do NOT understand.... if they can't see it , it's not REAL....I spend EVERY night tossing and turning on a bed I found out is toxic and has landed me in the ER with respiratory issues... being stuck on Disability- fixed income I spend THOUSANDS on this bed so I could at least sleep- but now it's making me sick.... There is no greater damage than the emotional neglect and dismissal of a person's chronic pain..... it's almost as back as the physical pain..... that why I chose to join a group of people who are in the same boat.... people who KNOW what this world feels like when you're in pain every minute of every day.....