advertisement
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
raging vortex
Cyclonic!.
Community Liaison
raging vortex has no updates.
 
Member Since: Aug 2012
Location: the asylum
Posts: 34,693 (SuperPoster!)
10 yr Member
3,469 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Old Feb 09, 2022 at 04:39 AM
  #1
 
does anyone on here, as they get older,, or get worsening pain psymptoms, ever have those moments where they look back and think, I wish I could still do this, I wish this wasn't so difficult, I wish it didn't get to this.

I know as my health is failing and it seems day by day I'm losing a little more control over my body, I do think about this, and it's sad. it makes me sad that things used to be easier and a whole less painfull
raging vortex is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Skeezyks

advertisement
Aviza
Magnate
 
Aviza's Avatar
Aviza Calm
 
Member Since: Jan 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 2,366
10 yr Member
81 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Old Feb 09, 2022 at 08:24 PM
  #2
 
My Dad felt that way. Made him angry towards the end of his life. He just didn't have the strength he used to have, the energy, the ability to breathe was gone on his last day. he really struggled that day.

__________________
Son: 14, 12/15/2009 R.I.P.
Daughter: 20
Diagnosis: Bipolar with Psychosis. Latuda 100 mgs.
Aviza is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
raging vortex
raging vortex
Cyclonic!.
Community Liaison
raging vortex has no updates.
 
Member Since: Aug 2012
Location: the asylum
Posts: 34,693 (SuperPoster!)
10 yr Member
3,469 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Old Feb 12, 2022 at 05:40 AM
  #3
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aviza View Post
My Dad felt that way. Made him angry towards the end of his life. He just didn't have the strength he used to have, the energy, the ability to breathe was gone on his last day. he really struggled that day.


thanks for sharing this.

while I'm not sure I'm at the anger stage yet, I'm defenetly at the stage where I'm thinking about longterm care, I'm thinking about alternative support, at my age I shouldn't be doing that.

give it a couple years and someone will be turning me in my bed because I can barely move

the thought of it sucks and I never wanted to be a burden on someone else

but right now I feel a burden on myself if that makes sense
raging vortex is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
sirtony
New Member
sirtony has no updates.
 
Member Since: Mar 2022
Location: West Virginia
Posts: 1
Old Mar 21, 2022 at 06:53 PM
  #4
 
I have been suffering Chronic pain for 11 years. Everyday its a little worse. I am, sometimes, at the point that I ponder if the last 11 years has been worth it. It's made me isolate, when I should be looking for friendship. I too have started looking into long term care. No ready for it, but no one else that I know now will. Thats all on me. Its just hard to live in the moment.
sirtony is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Cherry73
Member
 
Cherry73's Avatar
Cherry73 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Oct 2012
Location: Maryland
Posts: 239
10 yr Member
3 hugs
given
Old May 26, 2022 at 10:23 PM
  #5
 
I think back all the time about the way things used to be. For the life of me, I can't remember what it was like not to be in pain. I have a lot of issues including a ton of orthopedic problems. I just had my second total knee replacement.
When things started to get worse I packed up my kids and moved in with my parents. Fast forward some and I meet what I think is my soul mate. I explained everything to him so he would know what he was getting into. By that time I had already had 8 knee surgeries so he was totally aware. I tried pushing him away at first because I didn't think I deserved to be with anyone and that no one would want me with all my problems plus I have 2 kids ages 14 and 12 now. Well he continually pursued me and I finally gave in. He proposed and said he wanted to adopt my kids. I was escatic and of course I said yes. I have always wanted to get married and have a family. Well after about 3 years he started carrying on emotionally relationships online. I was crushed and I didn't have much self esteem to being with and now I have none. He tried at first to say it was just flirting but flirting doesn't entail swapping naked pictures, masturbation videos, and telling each other you love them. Well of course I found out and after a months he ended it. Well he didn't really end it he just ghosted the woman. Well it didn't end there. In fact it never ended. He even did it with people I knew online and considered friends and I would always find out and yet I still stood by him and loved him. Until he made the choice to hide an entire paycheck and started seeing a woman in person. She was even in my car. He was lying all the time , hiding money, and she even knew about me and the kids but he told about how horrible his life is because of me and having to take care of me. Who the **** does that. Well anyway we decided he doesn't want to be with me anymore because of my health issues and of course we don't have the money to live separately so know I still have to live with him and he still has to take care of me cause I have no one else which couldn't be more humiliating and I have no idea how to get out of this situation. He promised he would take care of us financially because we can't afford this house without him which I am grateful for but he mentioned he was looking at jobs 800 miles away. How the hell can he Co parent and make sure we have what we need if he is so gat away. Even after I can walk then I have to worry about spine issues, can't stand or walk for more than 3-5 minutes, which makes everything will be difficult. I still won't be able to do the laundry, cook, most cleaning and some things with the kids. So know I am scared to death if he leaves as soon as I recover from the total knee replacement I am going to lose my kids because I can't take care of them. It's a horrible feeling one I can barely deal with.
At least when I was with my parents I knew no matter what happened to me my kids would be taken of and now nothing. To make things worse my parents stopped talking to me and their grandchildren because we moved in with him. I believed everything he said and now I am in an impossible situation. I don't know why I was stupid enough to think someone would want me. My mother told me on a daily basis no one would love me enough to handle my physical issues and she was right.
So in closing, yes I think about how things used to be all the time and its beyond pressing.

Sent from my SM-N986U using Tapatalk
Cherry73 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Skeezyks
Disreputable Old Troll
 
Skeezyks's Avatar
Skeezyks has no updates.
 
Member Since: Oct 2015
Location: The Star of the North
Posts: 32,649 (SuperPoster!)
5 yr Member
17.4k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Old May 29, 2022 at 07:06 PM
  #6
 
I think about some of the things I was doing just 3 or 4 years ago (to say nothing of the things I did when I was younger) and I wonder what the next 3 or 4 years may bring (assuming I'm even still among the living.) Sometimes I think perhaps I could recover some of my former vigor if I just got out there and made myself do stuff. But mostly I just want to take another nap.

__________________
"I may be older but I am not wise / I'm still a child's grown-up disguise / and I never can tell you what you want to know / You will find out as you go." (from: "A Nightengale's Lullaby" - Julie Last)
Skeezyks is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
unaluna
Shelly61
Junior Member
 
Shelly61's Avatar
Shelly61 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jan 2023
Location: Florida
Posts: 10
Old Jan 24, 2023 at 09:26 PM
  #7
 
Hi Raging Vortex


Yes I do think of the things you mentioned. I have chronic pain issues as well (fibromyalgia, rheumatoid and osteoarthritis, herniated discs and bulging discs all up and down my spine, chronic fatigue syndrome). I was very active, used to ride motorcycles, swim, etc. I grew up on a sailboat and lifted 250 pound anchors, rowed boats, swam, walked, etc. It is difficult to say the least when I cannot do more than a few chores a day like laundry and making the bed. It takes me two-three days to cook a holiday meal. Riding an hour to my doctor one way takes a toll. It takes me at least 2-3 days after each of the things I just mentioned to recuperate. What I do is focus on the positives in my life: that I can move around, I have a supportive husband, supportive family, and beautiful grandchildren that make me happy. Negative thinking makes it worse, and dwelling on the pain makes it worse. I distract, use mindfulness skills, work on maintaining balance both physically and mentally, and a lot of self-soothing. All we can do is take one day at a time, but we have the ability to make each day a positive and full one. I hope things get better for you. Just know you are not alone!



Thanks

__________________
Shelly



Success is not final; failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts. -Winston S. Churchill-


Shelly61 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
All times are GMT -5. The time now is 04:20 PM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2023, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent community, overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.