[todarktosleep]

Medic

Take great pride in what you are,
I need you.

I will see you during some of the worst times in my life
and take comfort in your presence.

I trust you to have the knowledge to help me.

I know you care about my pain and anxiety,
but reassure me, for I am frightened.

When you rise for work rejoice,
you are needed.

From the daily mundane, to trauma, and the rare bizarre,
I will only ask one thing of you,

Heal Me

-To Dark To Sleep
Balad, Iraq
July 2004

[todarktosleep]

I wrote this while I was stationed at LSA Anaconda in '04-'05. It was my first
truly bloody day. I remember the look in the eyes of the men that I helped
that day and I wonder, if we could see each other over this website, would I
see the same need in your eyes? Would you see the same in mine?

The love of fellow survivors is unparalleled in my heart.
All my best to you.

Keep the faith

[Catherine2]

powerful, tdts...
it took me a few days to respond and for that I am sorry...

my generation...your generation
seeing much the same thing
feeling so much of the same things

keeping the faith
faith...sometimes keeps me

In Peace

[todarktosleep]

there are no atheists in foxholes...
I don't know where I heard that but I know it rings true for me
Faith, I've never had it truly unless I was under duress
Does that mean it was false?
I envy the faith of others

.....hhhmmmmm.......faith?

.....close the eyes....lean forward....hope the rest of me catches up.....

.....pick myself up when I fall.......and.......do it again.........

.....except this time..........a little different........

.....faith.....................................................

[Catherine2]

Originally Posted by todarktosleep

there are no atheists in foxholes...
I don't know where I heard that but I know it rings true for me
Faith, I've never had it truly unless I was under duress
Does that mean it was false?
I envy the faith of others

tdts....
No it doesn't mean it was false, jmo.
Jme, but severe stress will awaken the faith that we all carry in our hearts. In a way, it gives us an outlet for what is already there.

Again, jmo, but faith doesn't always come dressed up in religious tones...it can also mean that we discover the goodness within us and realize that it is something that every human being has within them...including the enemy.
It helps us to make sense of the senseless happenings in our lives...faith that we are strong enough to get through whatever it is we are facing.

The faith of others...please don't envy their outward appearance of having unshakable faith. We tend to judge our insides by their outsides, and they may be struggling as we are...sometimes more so.

In no way am I implying there is no comfort, strength, or hope to be found in organized religion. For many people, there is a great deal of it.
There can also be shame and guilt for not being perfect...

Everything I'm sharing is just my own opinion/just my own experience...
I had to clear up and let go of some of the teachings of my childhood religion.
There is no Granddaddy in long, flowing white robes deciding who gets what disease or "test of faith."
For me, that leaves no room for a loving and gentle Higher Power who wants more for us than we know to want for ourselves...

Taking responsibilities for our actions and making amends when we hurt someone is powerful and peace-giving...it follows the teachings of many cultures and spiritual walks of life.
My own spiritual path developed over the years. I believe there truly is a Loving Presence who walks with us...but is not going to toss us into some mythical hell because we farted on Tuesday instead of Wednesday--things like that are from the pompous minds of those who profess to know, know! what their God is like...

We grow weary and become lonely whenever we have no anchor...but the beginnings of that anchor are in us.
Accepting the love of a spiritual being is far harder than accepting the wrath of a demanding and punishing one.

Search for what feels right to you, tdts. It's another road full of bumps and potholes and incredible beauty...don't be afraid to walk it.
My own was full of stumbles and detours before I found and joyfully accepted what felt right to me...

In Peace

[anderson]

todarktosleep know this that those you helped in times of great need will always carry a part of you with them. It is a shamanic belief that once you help someone they exchange a part their soul with you. So yes they will always remember you regardless if they still live or walk the good red road. Know that they honor you as you honor them.

Originally Posted by todarktosleep

Medic

Take great pride in what you are,
I need you.

I will see you during some of the worst times in my life
and take comfort in your presence.

I trust you to have the knowledge to help me.

I know you care about my pain and anxiety,
but reassure me, for I am frightened.

When you rise for work rejoice,
you are needed.

From the daily mundane, to trauma, and the rare bizarre,
I will only ask one thing of you,

Heal Me

-To Dark To Sleep
Balad, Iraq
July 2004

[Catherine2]

Originally Posted by anderson

todarktosleep know this that those you helped in times of great need will always carry a part of you with them. It is a shamanic belief that once you help someone they exchange a part their soul with you. So yes they will always remember you regardless if they still live or walk the good red road. Know that they honor you as you honor them.

Mitakuye Oyasin!

... The new mystic warriors will impart the values of life, not death; of relationship, not violence; of peace, not war. "Mitakuye oyasin," the Sioux say in ceremony: "We are related to all things."
Excerpt
Mother Earth Spirituality: by Ed McGaa

'..includes every human being on this earth, every animal down to the tiniest insect, and every living plant."
Erdoes and Ortiz, 1999 xix

"We are in this together--the rich, the poor, the red, the white, the black, the brown, and the yellow.
We are all one family of humankind.
Mitakuye Oyasin, my Lakota brethren say./We are all related./We Are one.
Leonard Peltier
2000

[todarktosleep]

Thank you both for the perspective
I believe in a higher power, don't know if it's God or Buddha
or Allah or just my wife, but I find that I have to or I can't
deal with reality as it is.

I tell my kids this: You can live your whole life doing good
things, but if you do one thing that is mean, evil, wrong,
etc. that's the one thing you'll be remembered for.

I can't help but feel like the wrong I have done out weighs all the right...

Thank you doubly Catherine I was wondering about proper format for quoting.

[Catherine2]

Originally Posted by todarktosleep

I believe in a higher power, don't know if it's God or Buddha or Allah or just my wife,
but I find that I have to or I can't deal with reality as it is.

I tell my kids this: You can live your whole life doing good
things, but if you do one thing that is mean, evil, wrong,
etc. that's the one thing you'll be remembered for.

I can't help but feel like the wrong I have done out weighs all the right...

tdts...
Please let go of the guilt and shame...they are wasted emotions, drain your energy, and block the beautiful vision of a Higher Power working in your life.

Reality...perhaps, my friend, you are "seeing" only one part of reality...the part where beating ourselves up takes precedence over our many loving acts of kindness and love.
Another part of reality is understanding that in our lifetimes, we will do and say things that hurt other people. We do our best to make amends whenever possible; however there are times when an amend will be a silent, internal one due to our circumstances.
Both Are Valid.

Trying to balance out our good and not so good actions is nearly impossible, jmo.
Why?
Guilt will almost always triple what we perceive as being wrong--it will cover up, if not destroy, any vision we have of the good we have done...

Would you be as harsh and unforgiving to someone else as you are to yourself?

tdts, you are finding your path to peace. It's difficult at first and absolutely hard to find, but you will find it.
Please do not build roadblocks that will keep you stuck in the morass of guilt.

In Peace