How Do i Explain It

In spite of the trauma it created, I went to the 2nd "diagnosis" -- and when we were finished I asked the psychologist whether she thought I might be diagnosed as having PTSD. She replied, "No I don't think you might have PTSD, I'm SURE you have PTSD."

I have a series of appointments set up with a T, and I'm going to try to keep the first of them and see if I have the courage to continue. Working with the intak people was very traumatic. It took me over 1.5 hours to complete the 3 page background questionnaire. I had to constantly stop and wipe away tears and calm down.

The interview was pretty much the same...totally illogical emotional responses to simple questions.

So here's the question for someone who has been through this ... What do I tell my family about the forthcoming series of appointments? I know I don't have to tell them about my PTSD, but they will ask and ignoring their questions will be a dead give away that something mental is going on.

Some will probably tell me to just tell everyone right up front ... but I don't know if I can do that. My whole body and mind resists it. How did you handle this?

hon you probably don't have to tell them anything. your wife more than likely knows from being married to you and your children from living with you. they are still with you! I knew from the nightmares and flashbacks with my late husband. try not to overthink this process so much. they love you for who you are.

you are a champion, Bebop

Diagnosis and treatment is fluid and dynamic. It does not stay in a static state, dear friend. In other words, you may not feel like discussing it now, but maybe in the future when you have a better understanding of what therapy, diagnosis and treatment means to YOU, you will feel like talking about it.

Trust is huge as to who you tell. Do not feel compelled to do anything that doesn't feel right to you. All is as it should be, and everything has it's place. Give yourself time.

Biggest hugs,

Michah

Thank you Bebop and Michah ... when you mention that my family is still with me and loves me, you're right. They do. But my whole self tells me that this will not continue if they find out the real me. I think they will hate me. (tears) ... I've lived with this facade for so many years, i am going to also feel like I've been lying to them all this time on top of everything else. While I'm proceeding with the appointments, I just do not see a good outcome for all of this.

Troy, never underestimate the love of family. They may not understand at first, but hey, neither do you (about PTSD). I think both you and your family deserve to have the "real" you. Sooner or later the "fake" you will slip off like a mask. I think they will be behind you as long as you keep them in the loop about PTSD.

For better or for worse...

You were there for your country, now let your family be there for you.

Troy trust me hon. they already know. they have lived with you long enough to know. I am sure your wife has woken you up from nightmares. I am sure they have seen even minor anger issues or quick temper over the years. they do love you and they will support you. are the kids still living at home?

I hope you're right ... i hope youre right

hon I lived it. if you have nightmares your wife knows. she still loves you!

Thank you for what you did.

Troy,

Just tell your family that you are going to get help. You LOVE them and you want to be the best you can be. You don't have to explain.

If you get time in with a good therapist, then your therapist can arrange a meeting with your family to explain what you are trying to accomplish and how they can help you.

Just keep it simple, you can't explain something you, yourself don't really understand yet. It will be much better if your family can hear it from a professional that can give you more support by addressing them when the time comes.

I miss hearing from you, was worried, glad to hear you are trying, that is a good start.

Open Eyes

First and foremost - thank you for serving our country!

I am proud of you for getting help. Even if it is confusing right now, I think bebop is right. If they ask questions incessantly, you can reply I don't have the words for that right now and I'm getting help. That is the truth. As you feel more comfortable you can share more, but if you just let them know you are struggling with some things right now, I think they will understand! I am sorry you are in so much pain! I wish I had some great words to say, just know that we all support you and are proud of you!

Children's talent to endure stems from their ignorance of alternatives.
~ Maya Angelou