[celestialpardon]

There was this guy, and I think he may have been affected by the war. He is from Wyoming and I met him a while ago. The first week we connected like crazy. However, I began to get to know him, and he became a very cold person. Does anyone have stories to share?

[bebop]

my late husband did that. he completely withdrew from me. after he started that he started drinking.

[vetswife]

To love someone in the military or has been in the military and especially war; is not for everyone. It's not easy for you and worse for them. It's definitely an uphill relationship. They come home with lots of emotional problems, a lot have physical problems too, they have been through something very traumatic.

Don't ever ask questions, and when they want to talk just listen. Don't ever judge them for what they've done, re-asure them that it was their job and they had to what they had to in order to survive.

If they want to be alone, let them. If they don't want to be alone comfort them in silence.

Be sensitive to what triggers them, you learn real fast what they are.

Take care.

[desertnurse1977]

vetswife...

i had a platoon sergeant that said this:

'the army is like football - you train and train and train for the day they put you in the game.'

thats the best synopsys for the army that i have heard yet, or any military organization for that matter.

i would say most combat troops wear thier awards in silence - we don't talk to the layperson about our jobs and what we have done because the general person is very misinformed about exactly what we do and how we do it. they don't understand that given certain circumstances someone you know isn't going to go home and theres nothing we can do about it. it sometimes places an unbearable load on our shoulders.

most units train together, sleep together, eat together, shower together. its more intimate at times than your own marriage. the situations that we are placed in demand it for our own sanity. movies and pictures can never capture camradre. i have friends that i have fought next to that are to this day closer and understand me better than my own family at times. its sad to say but very true.

we fight our battles with friends and return home to be misunderstood, miscatagorized, mistreated (medically), and judged.

i can't speak for everyone, but i only talk of my experiences when the situation permits and the person i am presenting to has an open mind. if that doesn't happen i am fighting a loosing battle of 'what ifs'.

in all honesty its easier to have silent support for who i am as a person that to be constantly told that something is wrong with me. i am who i am now becasue of what i have done and been through.

thank you

[mrscaru]

Originally Posted by desertnurse1977

vetswife...

i had a platoon sergeant that said this:

'the army is like football - you train and train and train for the day they put you in the game.'

thats the best synopsys for the army that i have heard yet, or any military organization for that matter.

i would say most combat troops wear thier awards in silence - we don't talk to the layperson about our jobs and what we have done because the general person is very misinformed about exactly what we do and how we do it. they don't understand that given certain circumstances someone you know isn't going to go home and theres nothing we can do about it. it sometimes places an unbearable load on our shoulders.

most units train together, sleep together, eat together, shower together. its more intimate at times than your own marriage. the situations that we are placed in demand it for our own sanity. movies and pictures can never capture camradre. i have friends that i have fought next to that are to this day closer and understand me better than my own family at times. its sad to say but very true.

we fight our battles with friends and return home to be misunderstood, miscatagorized, mistreated (medically), and judged.

i can't speak for everyone, but i only talk of my experiences when the situation permits and the person i am presenting to has an open mind. if that doesn't happen i am fighting a loosing battle of 'what ifs'.

in all honesty its easier to have silent support for who i am as a person that to be constantly told that something is wrong with me. i am who i am now becasue of what i have done and been through.

thank you

Thanks, desertnurse. I am currently dealing with my marriage ending because of my husband's PTSD and our problems related to it. I love him and respect him and anyone who has done what you all have done. War is a tragedy and those of us who haven't experienced it can't understand it.

[Troy]

Your guy is what he is. If you want something different, you'll have to jump outa there and go find it. You're very kind for researching this and trying to make a go of it.

(Why am i here? - I don't know crap about this)
T.