fiance has complex combat-related ptsd

Hello:
My fiance has served 6 tours in Iraq and one in each: Afghanistan, Haiti, West Africa, Liberia, and Kosovo. He suffers from extreme, combat-related PTSD. I really need someone to talk to about this. Our relationship is suffering, and I find myself trying to "fix" him; i.e.: control him.

I feel like I am losing control of myself in the process.

welcome to pc!! you might want to copy and paste this in the combat ptsd forum. it's in the same forum as ptsd, just look a tad down to see it. click on it and post your original post. you'll get support there for him and you.
here you will too but your topic is specific so u want the right ppl to see it. good luck to you both and glad you're here.

hi crowe and welcome.

I learned something a long time ago hon. we can't fix them. we learn to support them and encourage but we can never fix. you have come to the right place hon.

With so many tours, the government must have been sure he would get PTSD. The current wars in Iraq and Afghanistan are longer than any war since Viet Nam. The problem with the VA is they try treating it with drugs when therapy is required. There is a factor that plays in where 20 years after the event PTSD becomes far worse. I would seek additional non VA therapy if it is affordable.

I can relate to what you are going through. I am sorry I don't have advice for you, but I really do understand how hard your position is. Has your fiance gone through therapy? PTSD is not something that just goes away. He needs to want to get help for it.

I really do feel for you. I hope it all works out.

Have you entered therapy for either your fiance, or yourself?

Maybe a support group for family members would help you to understand what he is going through so you can get a better understanding of the process of recovery. It is difficult to watch someone you love suffer and there is nothing you can do to take the pain away. There is no fixing the disorder, only recovery and learning to live with it. It does get better if he is getting help.

has he gone to the VA for help? therapy and meds may help him. therapy being the most important, imho. it takes time when one suffers from combat ptsd. but he can improve. the key is that he must want the help. meanwhile you may benenfit from a support group for loved ones who deal with people with ptsd. it will give you insight and you will probably learn ways to cope while he is in the throes of combat ptsd. i wish you both well.