[Secretum]

I recently read the thread "Personality Disorder Bashing", just a little under two hours after it was closed. I am sorry if this seems like an annoying attempt to get around the rules of the closed thread, but I feel that what I am about to say is really important.

I think that the "Partners of People with Personality Disorders" thread is discriminatory. It makes it seem like people with pd's are more difficult to live with than people with other psych disorders. This is not necessarily true. I think that the subforum's name should be changed to "Partners of People with Psychological Disorders", or something along those lines. By including Axis I disorders, we would recognize that all mental illness causes harm to both the direct sufferer and his/her loved ones, and that we cannot, and should not, determine whether one type of disorder is more "toxic" than another.

In a perfect world, there should be a forum for partners of people with any type of illness, whether physical or emotional. The fact is, living with another person who has an ongoing problem or illness is stressful. The partner often needs support and education in order to best help their partner.

[sabby]

Hi Secretum,

I understand what you are saying. The reason that particular subforum was created specifically for partners dealing with PD is because there was shown a need for it.

We had a lot of members who were dealing with partners/family members/friends with pd's who were posting in those particular forums. It became apparent that while those dealing with and discussing their issues was not supportive in the pd forums because those forums really should be for those with the dx to discuss their issues. They shouldn't be bombarded with difficult posting and sometimes being not so nice towards those who are dx'ed. That is why the forum was created. It wasn't meant to be exclusive.

I'm sure this will be read by DocJohn and responded to by him. Thank you for posting your thoughts.

Always,
sabby

[Secretum]

Thanks for providing the historical perspective, Sabby.

[NuckingFutz]

Maybe, if there is a need, there could be a "support for partners with Axis I issues? I believe if we make the sub forum too broad, the support the partners get may get diluted.

[nicoleb2]

While I understand that there may have been a shown need for that forum, I too found it a bit disconcerting and felt like it could be perceived as those of us with personality disorders are harder to deal with, so Thank you Secretum for this post, as I likely would have never brought the issue up to anyone.

[sabby]

I do understand how ya'll feel, but I don't believe that DocJohn is going to discontinue that particular subforum at this time.

I do believe you can choose to remove the forum from your view through your control panel. While this may not be the perfect solution for any of you, it certainly can help to make your experience here more comfortable and what you want it to be.

Please take good care!

[Alcinus_of_chell]

I do understand how ya'll feel, but I don't believe that DocJohn is going to discontinue that particular subforum at this time.

I would like to respectfully request that a poll be taken first to see the relative numbers of the people this subfourm helps and the number it does not, before that decision is made final.
_-Alcinus out-_

[DocJohn]

I appreciate the feedback and like all feedback here, I'll be happy to take it into consideration.

However, it would be naive to suggest that there aren't disorders that can have their own specific and unique challenges. Since personality disorders constitute a very large group, it was large enough to create its own sub-forum for, and separate out the threads of such people from the support forums created specifically for the personality disorders themselves.

This is not meant to discriminate, but I can understand how it could be perceived that way.

Peace,
DocJohn

[Secretum]

I agree that different disorders definitely come with different problems. It just seems to me that difficulties in interpersonal communication-and thus difficulties with intimate relationships-would be one of those issues that would accompany almost all psych disorders. People with personality disorders already face so much prejudice, tragically even among mental health professionals, partly because they are wrongly perceived to be more "difficult" than other patients. Having a forum to support their partners, but not the partners of people with axis I problems, really does seem to perpetuate that awful, life-destroying myth. I know of some borderline individuals who have been denied treatment while in a true crisis because "they're borderline". Prejudice against people with pd's is real, and it has real consequences. We should be doing everything possible to fight it and minimize it. No one, regardless of their diagnosis, deserves to be treated like the scourge of the earth. Our disorders, regardless of what they may be, already make us feel like that.

Also, since all mental health issues do cause interpersonal distress, the partner of a depressive, or an alcoholic, or someone with an anxiety disorder also has questions and needs support. I've seen several posts in the bipolar forum from spouses of bipolar individuals, and we are usually able to help them. However, they have nowhere to go if they want to talk to other well partners of a bipolar individual. They can only ask their questions in a forum composed almost entirely of people who have the illness.

Keep in mind that I do not have a personality disorder; I have only been diagnosed with bipolar II*. I also am not in a relationship. Yet the idea of a forum for the partners of people with personality disorders seems really discriminatory to even me, who has no personal interest in it.

Thanks to everyone who has replied to this thread. I'm sorry to be so very stubborn, but standing up for what I believe in is very important to me.

*I do sometimes wonder if I may have borderline "traits", or if I may be more of a "quiet" borderline than a person with bipolar. However, I've only been diagnosed with bipolar, and every mental health professional that I've asked says that there is no way that I'm borderline.

[Flooded]

I blocked that forum because it triggers me.

[NuckingFutz]

So maybe some people can come up with possible solutions to this issue. I am aware of the stigma that goes with personality disorders and how the subforum can be seen as discriminatory, and wanted to know if anyone had any solutions.