I don't much understand at this point the utility of the ignore function.

I kind of see, sort of, both sides of still being able to see that a specific user has posted though not seeing the actual content. So that is not my frustration.

My frustration stems from the fact that I am still able to see this individual visiting my profile all the time, also if they would like to "thank" me or... "hug" me in response to a given post.

Given the variety of posts and the sensitive nature of some of the narratives, as well as individual's possible histories of traumatic, abusive or otherwise wholly unpleasant relationships-with anyone- I strongly feel that having a safe space here and being able to dictate the specific boundaries of that space is important for each person here. I have, actually felt that was a notion highly valued at PC pretty much from the start.

Which is why I have my doubts there was actually any awareness that members put on ignore could still interact with the members who had put them on ignore, but I feel this is a fairly important loop to be closed, so could it be looked at please?

Thank you
Josie

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by JosieTheGirl

I don't much understand at this point the utility of the ignore function.

I kind of see, sort of, both sides of still being able to see that a specific user has posted though not seeing the actual content. So that is not my frustration.

My frustration stems from the fact that I am still able to see this individual visiting my profile all the time, also if they would like to "thank" me or... "hug" me in response to a given post.

Given the variety of posts and the sensitive nature of some of the narratives, as well as individual's possible histories of traumatic, abusive or otherwise wholly unpleasant relationships-with anyone- I strongly feel that having a safe space here and being able to dictate the specific boundaries of that space is important for each person here. I have, actually felt that was a notion highly valued at PC pretty much from the start.

Which is why I have my doubts there was actually any awareness that members put on ignore could still interact with the members who had put them on ignore, but I feel this is a fairly important loop to be closed, so could it be looked at please?

Thank you
Josie

I may be wrong but I thought that problem was fixed where if someone who was on your ignore list could not post in your thread and could not thank you and could not hug you.

the visiting profiles well as far as I know there is no way to prevent others from vising your profile if they are logged in.

that said there is a way so that you will not have to see that they have visited your page. in the profile where you can see who is visiting your profile just click on the arrow. that will close your visitor box so that ...you ....wont see who is visiting your profile. people can still visit and their names will still show in the box but with the box closed you dont have to see any of the names.

Originally Posted by amandalouise

I may be wrong but I thought that problem was fixed where if someone who was on your ignore list could not post in your thread and could not thank you and could not hug you.

It is possible it was fixed but since that time there has been an update or three and the "fix" has not continued on with the updates. Otherwise, I'm not sure. Because I definitely have withdrawn from conversation at this point due to this issue and that, for me, presents a problem.

...that will close your visitor box so that ...you ....wont see who is visiting your profile. people can still visit and their names will still show in the box but with the box closed you dont have to see any of the names.

So this DOES kind of "fix" the issue in a way, but it would also mean that, due to no fault or misstep of my own, I have to sacrifice something useful to me on the site.

That doesn't seem like a particularly decent compromise.
I am perfectly willing to compromise about this issue- but that is not really a compromise.
It means that because I want a safe and comfortable space, I have to not use a feature of my account.

*shrug*
I just don't really see how that makes sense. For me anyway.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by JosieTheGirl

It is possible it was fixed but since that time there has been an update or three and the "fix" has not continued on with the updates. Otherwise, I'm not sure. Because I definitely have withdrawn from conversation at this point due to this issue and that, for me, presents a problem.



So this DOES kind of "fix" the issue in a way, but it would also mean that, due to no fault or misstep of my own, I have to sacrifice something useful to me on the site.

That doesn't seem like a particularly decent compromise.
I am perfectly willing to compromise about this issue- but that is not really a compromise.
It means that because I want a safe and comfortable space, I have to not use a feature of my account.

*shrug*
I just don't really see how that makes sense. For me anyway.

yea it can be a catch 22. do I look at that little box and see who is coming to my profile or do I not look and miss out on seeing that one of my friends visited my profile.

for me its not a ....compromise....whether I use all the great features psych central offers or not is simply a way of my choosing whether I want to take care of myself that day....I love it that psych central has these features that we can have freedom of choice with. I live in america. our way of life here in america is one which Americans do have freedoms ...freedoms of all kinds including what we choose to read, look at online. heck we can even look at porn online if we choose too where as many other countries dont have such freedoms, I was reading recently on yahoo news that some countries have banned google, yahoo and other well known part of the internet because the government cant control what their citizens are reading, visiting, chatting with...

to me its a grand thing that we do have the freedom to choose whether we want to look at that little who's visiting your profile box. some days when I know Im just not in the mood to see, read, interact with those that trigger me I do place the person on ignore and I close out that who's visiting my profile" box. that way I can enjoy my time here knowing Im not setting myself up to be triggered. As an American its up to me to take care of myself when I am using the internet. As a member of psych central I know also the general rule of thumb is that only I can take care of me.

psych central supplies the self help tools (like having the "who's visiting the profile" box open or closed per each members choice) but its up to me to choose to use them or not...I choose to use them.

I feel the same way...

Though last I checked, someone you ignore can't post on your thread, but they could still thank or hug you. I haven't had a problem with people visiting my profile, but I don't really pay attention to that anyway.

Originally Posted by amandalouise

yea it can be a catch 22. do I look at that little box and see who is coming to my profile or do I not look and miss out on seeing that one of my friends visited my profile.

for me its not a ....compromise....whether I use all the great features psych central offers or not is simply a way of my choosing whether I want to take care of myself that day....I love it that psych central has these features that we can have freedom of choice with. I live in america. our way of life here in america is one which Americans do have freedoms ...freedoms of all kinds including what we choose to read, look at online. heck we can even look at porn online if we choose too where as many other countries dont have such freedoms, I was reading recently on yahoo news that some countries have banned google, yahoo and other well known part of the internet because the government cant control what their citizens are reading, visiting, chatting with...

to me its a grand thing that we do have the freedom to choose whether we want to look at that little who's visiting your profile box. some days when I know Im just not in the mood to see, read, interact with those that trigger me I do place the person on ignore and I close out that who's visiting my profile" box. that way I can enjoy my time here knowing Im not setting myself up to be triggered. As an American its up to me to take care of myself when I am using the internet. As a member of psych central I know also the general rule of thumb is that only I can take care of me.

psych central supplies the self help tools (like having the "who's visiting the profile" box open or closed per each members choice) but its up to me to choose to use them or not...I choose to use them.

So all that you've said I basically agree with.
My essential issue is that if I am trying to avoid interaction with this person, I have no way of avoiding them "giving me hugs".

The profile issue is secondary to that, though still sort of reeks of punishing those who want, need or attempt to set boundaries.

No one here actually knows the reasons for my avoidance nor what specific feelings I may have about someone I am trying to avoid who does the internet version of blatantly invading my personal space. That is not actually necessary information, though.

I appreciate the recommendation that I should help myself and take some proactive action.

The reality is that despite me attempting to do this, the tools available are not complete nor do they actually really accomplish what I assume to be (though I admit possibly incorrectly) the goal of such tools: self care, empowerment to alter, change or avoid things which upset us, and within that a continued way to access an environment of support with as few feelings of fear or anxiety regarding personal exposure or vulnerability as possible.

It can be suggested that I have failed to take on the responsibility of knowing and setting my boundaries within this site.

That would not be terribly accurate.
I did take it on. I set boundaries and gained what ended up being a false sense of security because an individual who I am trying to distance myself from can go to any post I have made and impose their presence specifically on me in what can be taken as an intimate way.

When one takes a different route to work, or doesn't go to a party to avoid somone, the thing least expected is to have that person randomly put an arm around you.

Because steps were taken which were assumed sufficient to avoid them.
As I had done prior to posting the thread. I thought that was clear but it's possible it wasn't.

[DocJohn]

Thank you for this set of suggestions.

The "Ignore" function is meant to help a member with other members they have interpersonal differences with. It was never intended to be an "absolute" sort of tool, and it never will be.

While we may be able to implement some of the changes requested -- specifically with regards to the thank and hugs buttons -- we simply don't know yet as it takes time & resources to even investigate the issue further. We will add it to our development "to-do" list to investigate further, but we're looking at least 60 days before that can be done.

I'll let you know when it's happened and our findings at that time.

Best,
DocJohn

That sounds great, DocJohn.
Thanks to you and the staff for taking the time to consider the issue and look into it further.

I very much appreciate it, and though I can only specifically speak for myself, I am sure there are other site users who will appreciate this, as well.

-Josie

Originally Posted by DocJohn

Thank you for this set of suggestions.

The "Ignore" function is meant to help a member with other members they have interpersonal differences with. It was never intended to be an "absolute" sort of tool, and it never will be.

While we may be able to implement some of the changes requested -- specifically with regards to the thank and hugs buttons -- we simply don't know yet as it takes time & resources to even investigate the issue further. We will add it to our development "to-do" list to investigate further, but we're looking at least 60 days before that can be done.

I'll let you know when it's happened and our findings at that time.

Best,
DocJohn