[gayleggg]

How do you go about apologizing to people who have blocked your posts. I have know idea what I said to upset this person but it bothers me that they would continue to hold something against me that I can't apologize for. I would like to be able to send an apology but it seems like there is not way to correct the wrong. Anybody have any ideas.

[CaptainChaos79]

It seems you will have to send the apology via PC courier...second hand...someone will have to deliver said apology on your behalf ...otherwise it might never get done....if its really bothering you that much and you feel you must go to any length to make amends then that seems like the best option...

[(JD)]

I think you can still post a VM, can't you?

[sabby]

Please try to remember that many times when a member uses the ignore function, it's not anything against the member they are ignoring but their own personal self care.

I know it's so easy to always go to the negative and think that you have done something wrong when in actuality, it may not be the case at all.

[Fuzzybear]

Also on a site this size, it would be rare if 100 percent of the members want to read 100 percent of the other members' posts. As sabby said, "ignore" is often used for "self care". I doubt if you've done anything wrong.

[amandalouise]

my opinion is that if someone has you on ignore to remember that its about them not you and to not try to contact that person through visitor messages or pulling other members into the situation by asking someone else to do it for you. bottom line is that any contact is triggering for that person for the moment. I personally would not want to be responsible for causing another person or possibly two pain just because I may want to say im sorry about something I may not have even done. I say two people because how you you think a person being triggered by say seeing someones user name is going to react when member B includes that user name in their contact? its going to trigger then and thereby cause the person to put the second unsuspecting member on ignore. the same with visitor messages, sure someone on ignore can go to a persons visitor page and post but whats the outcome...the person can delete that off their visitor page and close their visitor page so that no one can contact them through that avenue. I have my visitor page closed for exactly this reason. i use the ignore feature then someone discovers they are on ignore that day and then they come and post on visitor page thereby causing me a trigger reaction the result turned off visitor page and put the second member on ignore for the same reason as the first person.

the ignore feature is there for a reason to protect ourselves from being triggered. I use it as needed to control my own being triggered. sometimes those I put on ignore are only there for one day and sometimes they are there permanently. but its about me and my triggers.

so my suggestion is accept that someone else is doing what they should do when visiting psych central...making sure they are in control of their own bodies and reactions and taking care of their self in what ever ways they need to, in this case using the ignore option when needed. if indeed you have done something wrong that member will at some point when they feel less triggered reach out to you and work out the problem with you.

[gayleggg]

It's just that sometimes I would like to reply to threads this person posts because I feel I could be supportive but can't. It would probably be better if I couldn't see this persons posts all together.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[*Laurie*]

No matter what anyone says, it hurts to be ignored or blocked by someone, especially after the person has publicly attacked you on a thread, then immediately put you on 'ignore'. To me that is just a form of bullying. It is often manipulative, too...like 'See - I had the final say in this & now I'm ignoring you!' Once, a long time ago, someone put me on ignore and I had absolutely no clue as to what I had done. Then that person made a post about how I had triggered her...I still had no clue. Her thread was closed by admin, but I felt very embarrassed and definitely bullied. I left PC for a long time after that.

It would probably be better if I couldn't see this persons posts all together.

I totally agree! That, unfortunately, is a flaw in the blocking process (to my way of thinking, anyway.)

I've only put someone on ignore one time because they consistently posted about subjects that upset me. I found, though, that seeing that they had posted but not being able to read what they had posted actually bothered me more, so I unblocked them.

I realize you don't have that option, Gayle. Just as a "my two cent's worth", Gayle, I find you to be a very "low triggering" poster. When I read that you said that someone had blocked you, I immediately assumed that their cat must have done it by accident.

My cat opens all kind of strange programming consoles on my laptop and has unfollowed people on Twitter, so I'm sure he's completely capable of blocking someone on PC.

[Serzen]

Let go of the past.

[*Laurie*]

Originally Posted by jo_thorne

My cat opens all kind of strange programming consoles on my laptop and has unfollowed people on Twitter, so I'm sure he's completely capable of blocking someone on PC.

LOL, I can rarely type without at least 1 cat 'helping' me. I'm convinced they type in their own language

[*Laurie*]

Originally Posted by Serzen

Let go of the past.

The best advice...especially for online interaction.

[lizardlady]

Gayle, like some others I'm baffled that someone would feel the need to put you on ignore. I've never seen you say or do anything offensive. BUT I'm also going to repeat more of what others said, putting someone on ignore is about the person who is doing the ignoring. There are probably as many reasons why individuals use the feature as there are people who use it, but it all boils down to self-care.

If I may, please don't send a visitor message to the person who has you on ignore. That has happened to me twice(!). It was extremely triggering for me. For those of us with an abusive past that included people who did not respect our(i.e. my) boundaries having someone I placed on ignore post a visitor message brings up bad old stuff. For me it feels like the person is ignoring the boundary I tried to set and continuing to come after me.

[*Laurie*]

Liz, that's a good point about visitor messages.

[-jimi-]

I would not try to attempt to contact that person. If they want to avoid you, they certainly do not want you to hunt them down.

I have people on ignore for a few different reasons. It can be that I find them abusive (especially to groups I belong to or otherwise associate with), that they have been in arguments where I blocked all of them, even those with my own standpoint because I just couldn't stand seeing the bickering, one I have on ignore for a reason I do not understand myself (force ignore)... but no, you don't have to have done anything wrong to be on ignore. Maybe you just said something that is personally triggering to someone sensitive.

I think you should use it as a lesson, because so many people in life dislike us for "no good reason", and there is nothing we can or SHOULD do about it.

I'm not particularly fond of the setup where you cannot reply if OP has you on ignore, it could easily be abused. Also, I don't want to use ignore as a weapon, it should be a tool for me to not see THEM, without them knowing. I have no intention of hurting people I'm ignoring.

[(JD)]

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

Also on a site this size, it would be rare if 100 percent of the members want to read 100 percent of the other members' posts. As sabby said, "ignore" is often used for "self care". I doubt if you've done anything wrong.

Wouldn't it be irrational to think that everyone likes you (or me)??? And if I felt such hurt because someone has me on ignore, wouldn't that be something I'd have to work through?

Certainly everyone can think of something that might irk another about herself? We think about this every time we make a post, imo...which is why some use the hidden option in a post, trigger icons etc.... because we know what we say WILL irk someone.... But too many people don't think the way I think, personally. My brain works differently than most (honest!) It thinks differently and approaches things from different angles than many...and I'm often misunderstood nowdays.

It is tough when you want and maybe NEED support and don't receive it.

For me, most of the issues others have with me are in just 2 forums. Both of which I am secure in myself... but just don't appreciate the way comments are formed against ME.... conflicts with the "acceptable" style of posting: don't put other's comment "down", don't speak to what someone else said (with exceptions), don't post against ME, but post "your view" of the same issue only. Keep the guidelines. I would imagine that at least half of the flaming and otherwise triggering events could be avoided if we all kept to these standards? I'm pretty sure the ignore feature wouldn't be used quite as much then.

[sabby]

I think it's safe to say that while the ignore feature can be a great tool for helping us with our triggers, it's not a perfect tool where everyone can feel warm and fuzzy about it.

Unfortunately, nothing in life is perfect nor will it all fit to our expectations and needs.