this issue is close to me.

i readd somewhere about the death of chrisakira

then yesterday i was brouzing the forums and reading a thread- and saw a post from that person made months ago

that really left me in shock and upset.

i don't think acounts of people who arn't with us should be listed on the site.

it could, in theory, hurt a lot of vunnerable people

i was unfortunate enough to fall in to that trap

thoughts?

[Artchic528]

How would that work?

[unaluna]

Thats a good question. But like you wouldnt take books a person wrote out of a library after they passed. This is a record of what they said at that point in time. Its evidence of their existence. Of their caring for other people. It seems disrespectful to erase it.

I agree with Unaluna.

I agree that the accounts should perhaps be hidden, but not deleted.

But what about threads and comments?

I think that technically it might be a bit difficult when the deceased person posted comments on other people's threads, and also those comments were quoted in other people's comments.

But they could move all threads started by the deceased person into a separate group, with a "trigger warning" of sorts for whoever clicks on the group page.

Originally Posted by shattered sanity

this issue is close to me.

i readd somewhere about the death of chrisakira

then yesterday i was brouzing the forums and reading a thread- and saw a post from that person made months ago

that really left me in shock and upset.

i don't think acounts of people who arn't with us should be listed on the site.

it could, in theory, hurt a lot of vunnerable people

i was unfortunate enough to fall in to that trap

thoughts?

Originally Posted by Artchic528

How would that work?

i just think it's very disturbing.

that's all

Originally Posted by BuildABridge

I agree that the accounts should perhaps be hidden, but not deleted.

But what about threads and comments?

I think that technically it might be a bit difficult when the deceased person posted comments on other people's threads, and also those comments were quoted in other people's comments.

But they could move all threads started by the deceased person into a separate group, with a "trigger warning" of sorts for whoever clicks on the group page.

i like, not only the reasonable comment in this post, but also the solution you've come up with

thanks for this post

[(JD)]

Sounds too labor intensive to me. That would take an admin... And not all of those who have passed on have been posted about, so a search would be impossible as well.

Put the person on ignore...and you won't see their posts at least?

IMO it's important to see and realize re: be reminded that we are all mortal and we have 100% chance of passing in the future.... what we do with our lives today matters... how we think and act affect how we are re: "where" we are in life when we do pass.

[DocJohn]

I hear you -- it can be eye-opening to read something or come across a post about a person or from a person who is no longer with us. I see this on Facebook, for instance, when it shows me a photo of a loved one who is now deceased.

We have no way of deleting all of a person's posts or threads, deceased or not. It's a very manual process right now.

We also have very little in way of identifying information on an individual unless they choose to share such with us. So verification of a person's death would be extremely difficult for us. We couldn't just take someone's word for it, we would need to verify the death ourselves to be certain.

So it's problematic for a number of reasons. But it's something I'll think about ways we could help alert people to that fact in a way that would be possible for us and maybe help soften the blow...

Best,
DocJohn

[Gus1234U]

people grieve in different ways; remembering someone is one of those ways.
i see where people keep the Friend avatar of someone who has passed, and i feel like that is very touching.

Let me tell you a story:

My sister passed away about 5 years ago following a bone marrow transplant. During the last year of her life, she kept an very active online journal about what she was going through with lots of interaction with hundreds of people who cared about her and followed her story. That online journal is still there, 5 years later, and while it may be painful to come across at times, it is also a gift and reminder that she was a very vital, living, thoughtful human being who went through a great struggle. I am SO grateful that the website that sponsors online journals such as hers (it is a website specifically designed for people undergoing health crisis) doesn't just delete those accounts when the writers have passed away (and many of those posters do die). Seeing her words now is a blessing.

I can see if a member's last few posts were full of thoughts of suicide or something and they had ended up dying in that manner, then it would certainly make sense to at least delete those posts, but that wasn't the case for the member you mentioned. She was a vital member of this community and while it may be painful to see her words right now, the time will come when coming across her old posts will be a gift -- it's just hard to see that right now.

Grieving is difficult and memories and reminders come up at unexpected times, but it does get easier and the reminders do eventually turn into little gifts from above (at least that's the way I've come to see them.)

[vonmoxie]

I'm sad that any account gets closed, because it makes it harder to look things up. Sometimes I'll remember something someone said, or an article they linked to, and use the search function to try to get to it.. but if the account is closed it can become much more labor intensive to do so.

Maybe think of it as a testament to their spirit, to still be benefited by their sharing in life.

[Onward2wards]

When someone passes away and leaves traces anywhere online, I notice I go over some of their old posts I hadn't read before ... then ruefully think maybe I should have done more of that while they were still around.

[venusss]

I wouldn't. To me that would be triggering and maybe to many others.

Like you are here, than you are not and you are... deleted, forgotten, gone gone gone.

You don't burn work of people the minute they die. You don't burn all photographs of your family or friend, their letters and memories you had with them when they die.

If the member had things to say, things that mattered, it would be pity to do away with it, just because their earthly body is gone.

[amandalouise]

heres an idea another site I know does. when they find out one of their members has died the team in charge goes to that members profile and finds that persons posts and threads. they place a special trigger icon on that post. just like here on psych central anyone who sees a red circle with a black x in it here on any posts knows that post or thread has the potential for triggering a person, the members on that site knows a post marked with that designated warning icon (they use a cross icon) shows that member has been reported as having died.

for here I'm thinking maybe a lighted candle attached to deceased members threads\posts would be a good way to not only warn members what they are about to read was wrote by someone who has been reported as deceased but also a way to honor and remember them. with the added bonus of should that member have been mistakenly reported as deceased all they would have to do is log in and let the moderators know they are very much alive.

just an idea

Originally Posted by shattered sanity

this issue is close to me.

i readd somewhere about the death of chrisakira

then yesterday i was brouzing the forums and reading a thread- and saw a post from that person made months ago

that really left me in shock and upset.

i don't think acounts of people who arn't with us should be listed on the site.

it could, in theory, hurt a lot of vunnerable people

i was unfortunate enough to fall in to that trap

thoughts?

Sorry but I disagree. I don't like the idea of erasing people. Krisakira was a real person. She made posts and contributed to the site and had friends. I think "erasing" her or any other member would be wrong. She existed. Still does through her posts. I don't think pretending bad things don't happen helps anyone.

It would be like wiping away all of the persons memories.

[emwell]

My opinion if you choose to inquire further is

Possible trigger:

death is part of life and shouldn't be hidden.

I 'knew' Kris.
Maybe the next time I see a post from her I will stop, take a moment, remember her, and smile.
She would want me to smile.

[Pikku Myy]

I tend to agree with emwell and others about being able to go back and read messages from those that have passed away To me it is part of processing the fact these members have moved on, but touced me in their special way.

[Skeezyks]

I don't have a particular opinion on this question. But it reminds me of a YouTuber I came to know, via YouTube (not IRL), who committed suicide. Her channel still exists & I still sometimes run across listings for her videos. I used to go back occasionally & watch one of them that I was particularly fond of. I haven't done so recently. But this Thread reminded me of her.

I do not now the member, but I think to erase that person's posts is akin to erasing their legacy.

I wouldn't want to be erased. It is like saying that I was never here.

I think if it were their wish,(if they were dying of a disease and asked that their posts be erased), or if a family member requested it, then it would be different.

[~Christina]

She helped so many people with her love, support and advice. That should never be erased , deleted or removed.

Originally Posted by unaluna

It seems disrespectful to erase it.

Originally Posted by George H.

I don't like the idea of erasing people.

Originally Posted by Buttercup11

It would be like wiping away all of the persons memories.

Originally Posted by ValentinaVVV

I think to erase that person's posts is akin to erasing their legacy.

Originally Posted by ~Christina

She helped so many people with her love, support and advice. That should never be erased , deleted or removed.

I feel that this is turning into OP bashing.

Please note that the OP never said anything about "erasing":

Originally Posted by shattered sanity

i don't think acounts of people who arn't with us should be listed on the site.

There's a difference between content that is not being listed (not shown, hidden, placed in a separate group with a trigger warning, etc...) and erased.

The OP might have found it difficult to express how it should be done.

The fact is, the subject upsets the OP, and this is what should be taken in consideration. It's the ones who are around we should care more about.

And besides, we already have the official answer...

Originally Posted by DocJohn

I hear you -- it can be eye-opening to read something or come across a post about a person or from a person who is no longer with us. I see this on Facebook, for instance, when it shows me a photo of a loved one who is now deceased.

We have no way of deleting all of a person's posts or threads, deceased or not. It's a very manual process right now.

We also have very little in way of identifying information on an individual unless they choose to share such with us. So verification of a person's death would be extremely difficult for us. We couldn't just take someone's word for it, we would need to verify the death ourselves to be certain.

So it's problematic for a number of reasons. But it's something I'll think about ways we could help alert people to that fact in a way that would be possible for us and maybe help soften the blow...

Best,
DocJohn

Peace,

[lizardlady]

Doc John, how about a post in the forums announcing that a member passed? I know I've seen this in the past. I sort of stumbled across the post about KriaKris in the grief forum.

I'm not in favor of removing all the posts of a deceased member for reasons others have mentioned. Perhaps folks who find seeing posts by that member disturbing could put the person on "ignore" while they cope with their grief? That way the deceased members posts are still here for others to read, but the mameber in pain does not have to see painful reminders. Also, they can take the person off "ignore" when they are ready. I know that there have been times in my life that reminders of someone I lost were too painful to deal with shortly after their death, but as time passed and I healed it helped me to be able to go through their things and remember them.

[emwell]

I feel that this is turning into OP bashing.

I am sorry you see it that way. I see it a bit different.
People expressing their own thoughts, feelings, and opinions even though they may differ from others. This is how I learn.