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Default Jul 04, 2016 at 09:38 AM
  #1
I am seeing more and more of these pop up.

In the World of Psychology section, there is an article that warns people about entering into a relationship with someone who suffered from childhood emotional neglect. This writer seems to be using the World of Psychology section to take personal jabs at people in her life, and in doing so, paints everyone in this population as people to steer clear from.

http://psychcentral.com/blog/archive...comment-817206

Later, when commenters point out that there are other sides to this issue, the author ignores them, only replying to those who agree with her, describing them as "mature" responses.

Can't these types of articles be placed into another section for personal opinions? I see more and more of these unprofessional types of articles and they can be extremely offensive.

What if someone had written "think twice about entering into a relationship with someone who has a physical handicap". A person in a wheelchair may pose x or x problem in your life. Traveling anywhere with them can be a daily source of frustration...

How Childhood Emotional Neglect Affects Relationships

Quote:
If you are in a relationship with a CEN adult, it’s good to be aware that you will need to provide self-compassion and not expect them to be able to connect on a mature level. If you see the signs of CEN early, it is best ask yourself if you should enter into a relationship with the person, since even necessary daily communication can be a frustration.

Last edited by Anonymous37817; Jul 04, 2016 at 09:52 AM..
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Default Jul 04, 2016 at 12:29 PM
  #2
Hi Seahorse
I just read the linked article and honestly Im shocked and rather offended as well! ... and quite frankly surprised as I dont come across any art. here that has such a one sided narrow pov and neg. tone.... idk how bloggers are chosen, but thank you for bring this to attention... That art. seems very unPC I also suffer from childhood trauma abuse and neglect....and while being blocked off emotionless and shutdown and some other stuff metioned there is def my MO when I have to deal w/ my immediate family....but outside relationships....That discription is NOTHING like me! Just ask my SO(lol)! Whats funny is that while i exp. CEN thru out my life...my SO was raised much differently and he is the quiet aloof hates emotional verbalization.. and has a hard time w/ reacting compassionately to others emotional needs...He is a great guy...I on the other hand, am definately physically more withdrawn, do need a lot of alone time and space..but very emationally verbal. I cry alot, talk about my feeling to the best i can understand them and try to listen and respond compassionately to his.. I drive hom nuts sometimes...tgink to much to quick and make him dizzy...he moves to much to quick and everything else falls apart outside his one area of concentration. We are opposites who both clash and compliment each other.... I dont believe in just one portrait of childhood trauma... Many varying outcomes can result. What I find interesting is if i may use me and mySo as ex: again..two very different upbringing from dimilar economic and household structures also only a few towns away so culturally sim as well two parent ea, 3children ea, and family spilt in teen yrs...My family- DYSFUNCTIONAL TO THE MAyrsAlcoholic Narcassistic mum who "only got married and had children cuz it was the next appropriate life choice after college.".... No ones opinion but hers was ever right and subject to change of rules at anytime. If you could live up to and anticipate her changing standards, you were worthless, lazy, ungrateful, and stupid. Punishment was extreme verbal abuse and rudiculously long lists of impossible tasks. No arguements or comprises would be entertained...further punishment if u talked back...her standards only applied to others...she never held herself to any standards, complete chaos..only thing to do was be quiet, stay out of sight and hope she was too busy with her own stuff to rtemebe ur existance... Dad was withdrawn and unapproachable. When he was in a good mood, you might get invited to watch a movie or go out w/ him. But he could only handle and like on child at a time...mostly just not present at all. No help and little comfort. Siblings were also indivually held to different standards, so i might get screamed and punished for something another did same and was praised/ validated. "She took my toy.." mom response to oldest being the perp.= "Shes bigger and stronger that makes her entitled to whatever she wants..not my prob. Work it out amongst yourselves". Middle being the perp.= "taking others things is stealing! You are not allowed to touch anyones stuff or go in their room w/o pemission. Give it back immmediatesa, appologize and go to ur room and dont come out til i say so, we will discuss your FAULTS then.". Youngest being the perp.- "Shes just a baby doesnt know any better. Just give her the toy so she wil stop fn crying!"... you get the pic...... His Family- Mom looney as hell. Martyr complex. Never yelled, quietly discussed but went on and on forever...everything was "perfect" not just herself but also entire family. Dad and mom didnt really verbally communicate with each other. Chores were itemized and left in Love you, Mom notes. Nagged at if not accomplished unless it was something she could easily do herself afteework then she would just quietly and happyily do it and w/ no punishment or verbal berating...never swore. If kids were in same space/room smothered w/ attention..otherwise mostly left alone. Dad was miserable in marriage, but good to kids. Physically avoidant of being home but took interest in hobbies and likes. Happy and excited to buy anything and EVRYTHING related to kids,interests engaged w/ them outside of mom domain... vollenteered in sports and youth group activities etc...idk if their was much diffence btwn how each was treated...except my SO was "sick" as a child so kept close prob overly smothered w/ attention and bought the most expensisive and quantity of toys cuz needed to be indoors much when little.... The way I see it, is my SO's behaviour (which mirrors that art. maybe the result of too much attention and lack of communication btwn parents and overall just everythings fine even when it wasnt attitude....my behaviour is response to never being heard validated or feeling loved therefore over expression and panic to fix any little crack in relationship for fear of being berated or unloved. Of course there are other outside childhood factors as well some that neither of us have much mem of...sorry im long winded. Just wanted to share my thoughts on subject...and let you know i agree with you about this article.

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Default Jul 04, 2016 at 01:14 PM
  #3
I think it's important for people to be able to see all sides & to look into what it's going to be like dealing with it in the relationship before getting deeply involved in a relationship.

A blog is usually a place where we are just able to express our own opinions on things. Why it's popping up for you to read & not you going to it on your own choice.....that I don't understand.

It's called using one's wise mind to see both the logical & emotional side of a situation before jumping into it & it's important to do that especially when we are looking at a committed marriage relationship.

I wish I had understood what I was getting into before I got married but the Dx of my H wasn't even available back in those days & it didn't even get Dx'ed before his behavior had a serious negative effect on my life. I wish I had been able to correlate the red flags I did see with what was REALLy going on with him......I gave the marriage way too many years before I finally escaped.

Quote:
"think twice about entering into a relationship with someone who has a physical handicap". A person in a wheelchair may pose x or x problem in your life. Traveling anywhere with them can be a daily source of frustration...
Even with physical handicaps.....it's important to know what is involved as the requirements in a relationship before committing to is. Too often people don't bother to look at the REAL picture & then when it does get to much as they would have understood if they had just taken the time before getting involved, they end up getting out of the relationship because in reality, they couldn't handle it.

Better to look at the whole truth about situations before getting involved & then later on realizing it's beyond what one can handle when they could have known from the beginning if they had all the information. All too many times we get involved in relationships without the full picture & then too many divorces end up happening because of that.....better NOT to get involved in the first place IMO....love does NOT conquer all....talk to the thousands who have been in those situations & have in the long run been hurt by the relationship they didn't really look into before getting involved & why we have such a high number of divorces when people realize they can no longer tolerate what they got involved in.

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Default Jul 04, 2016 at 02:16 PM
  #4
Of course it's realistic to look at all sides of things. However, I think your missing the point of why that article (and others like it) are offensive.

It's also not a blog of individuals' opinions. It's supposed to be a blog from "experts in the field" on clinical practice and treatment.
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Default Jul 04, 2016 at 02:53 PM
  #5
I found this article offensive:

Some Personality Traits of Hackers Resemble Autism | Psych Central News

I am autistic and I do not want to be compared to a hacker.
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Default Jul 04, 2016 at 10:47 PM
  #6
I'm so sorry that you were offended, seahorse.

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Default Jul 05, 2016 at 12:58 AM
  #7
Quote:
Originally Posted by seahorse View Post
Of course it's realistic to look at all sides of things. However, I think your missing the point of why that article (and others like it) are offensive.

It's also not a blog of individuals' opinions. It's supposed to be a blog from "experts in the field" on clinical practice and treatment.
But isn't that the treatment for those who could possibly be affected by those who have struggled with emotional neglect?.....to beware & to use one's wise mind when getting involved in a relationship like that.

What may be offensive to one may be therapy to another.

I know that looking back at my own life, I would have loved to have known what I grew up around & how it affected me & the choices I made in my own life & my own marriage. I would have loved to have known what those red flags I ignored before my marriage were all about because I had no idea what I had grown up with & made a very BAD choice because I didn't know. Learning & knowing (even looking back) has been part of my therapy.

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Default Jul 05, 2016 at 02:01 AM
  #8
Quote:
Originally Posted by seahorse View Post
In the World of Psychology section, there is an article that warns people about entering into a relationship with someone who suffered from childhood emotional neglect. This writer seems to be using the World of Psychology section to take personal jabs at people in her life, and in doing so, paints everyone in this population as people to steer clear from.

How Childhood Emotional Neglect Affects Relationships | World of Psychology
As if experiencing emotional neglect in childhood wasn't bad enough, now we aren't supposed to ever find happiness as adults? I'm so sick of these articles stigmatizing people who and trying to turn the rest of the world against us, ensuring that we stay miserable.

If you truly love someone (unless they are hurting you or leave you for someone else of course) then you will support them as they deal with their issues. If someone was paralyzed they would be just as "exhausting" to care for them as a person with emotional issues but no one expects people to just "Walk away" from them for something they cannot help. (I'm not saying people should not leave if they are not happy but they should not be told to for that reason because it is possible to love a person with any problem) Especially if they are married. People leave and divorce way too much, maybe this nonsense of telling other people what that should do is the reason?

I'm not even going to read it knowing that other people will take that advice and there's nothing I can do about it

I've told myself one day I will change all of this that makes our lives difficult but I don't know how anymore...

I hope the author of this article realizes that our issues she complains about. She is making them worse.
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Default Jul 05, 2016 at 07:12 AM
  #9
Our World of Psychology blog is a community blog about all aspects of psychology, mental health, emotions, and relationships. It has always featured articles from a wide array of people and professionals, and I don't necessarily agree with everything we publish. That's the nature of having an open platform where we accept submissions from anyone.

The World of Psychology blog features authors who have opinions -- that's what makes a blog interesting. It is not, nor has it ever been, a blog exclusively written by professionals. I feel like there is value in most people's perspectives, even if their overall message is not one I agree with.

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Default Jul 05, 2016 at 07:22 AM
  #10
I find the offensiveness the generalization....It give the impression that all ppl suffering from CEN react the same w/ negative implications stated only. Yes I believe in all povs...but when a pov is over generalized and not clearly written "from my experience or This behaviour is more common in.. etc"...then it is misrepresenting it's self as fact. And to make a sweeping overall negative statement re: a mental health issue and presenting it as fact...only serves to further spread MH Stigmas! PC is the largest and very trustworthy prominent worldwide site, as such I feel it is our social responsibility as a whole community to speak out against Stigma and provide fair and clear information re: both the strengths and weaknesses of each MI.

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Default Jul 05, 2016 at 08:18 AM
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Disagreement is something completely different than the spreading and encouragement of stigmas about certain groups of people from a site that proudly claims to be "the world's trusted mental health resource".

There must be 2 "About" pages of the World of Psychology blog as the one I read just now states something much different than the one I read when I posted this thread the other day.
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Default Jul 05, 2016 at 10:58 AM
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I don't need to read PC blog articles anymore but thought it was worth pointing out the message being sent to the users of the site through articles like that. Thanks.
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Default Jul 06, 2016 at 10:14 PM
  #13
It is just an opinion.

Similar, I think, to those that write articles about partners involved with BPDs.
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Default Jul 07, 2016 at 12:25 AM
  #14
I agree with you, Seahorse. I've also come across articles like this and find them offensive. It's irresponsible and morally questionable to spread them.
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Default Jul 07, 2016 at 05:36 PM
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Quantity before quality. But it's how the Internet is "supposed to be" these days and we're supposed to like it.
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Default Jul 07, 2016 at 06:50 PM
  #16
Yes. I've read those articles and despite not having BPD, I was offended.
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Originally Posted by ValentinaVVV View Post
It is just an opinion.

Similar, I think, to those that write articles about partners involved with BPDs.

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Default Jul 08, 2016 at 08:20 AM
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Yes I have to say I find the tone of the article offensive, although not affected myself personally.

I have also found other blog articles offensive in tone and also poorly researched/sourced. I understand that we will not always agree with every view point but I don't think it adds to the reputation of Psych Central to host these articles.

Just my opinion.
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Default Jul 09, 2016 at 01:37 AM
  #18
My thought... most posts, opinions and comments about being Bipolar 1 are negative. I get your point. However, I feel we need to share be able to share our experiences here on PC. I also believe corrections to certain opinions are welcome This is a bounds off platform.
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Default Jul 09, 2016 at 08:37 PM
  #19
Although I enjoy reading the blogs whether I agree with the article or not it would be helpful if blogs were labeled opinion pieces and true news items labeled separately. I think a vulnerable person may mistake opinion for fact.
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Default Jul 10, 2016 at 01:07 AM
  #20
I don't think it is okay to tell others what to do, especially a large group of people you don't even know who are just reading the article. You could explain what you did in a certain situation and why and it would be sharing your opinion, because you only know about yourself and your life.

Generalizing groups of people is like racism, which rather it is allowed with free speech or not, should not be tolerated.
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