[TishaBuv]

I thought the idea of this community was to help and support the OP of each thread.

I thought the 'rules' were not to call each other out and attack each other for helpful, but conflicting suggestions.

I've had an experience where I felt attacked for my honest post, and the administration allowed it. And I am seeing other posts where only 'YES men" responses will be tolerated.

Did I misunderstand the Community Guidelines to think one should not be attacked for their difference of opinion but helpful comments?

Anyway, I feel very uncomfortable about this, and will not post anymore out of fear of triggering others and getting attacked.

I asked the administration in private messages, but was not answered.

After spending much time helping others on here, didn't I deserve better?

I have seen Tisha being attacked more than once--I did not directly call out the attackers because it was a case of mentally ill, traumatized and/or closedminded people being triggered (or perhaps I was being a coward--ie didn't want to be hated on as well). But what they did must have been very hurtful/triggering. I hope someone will look into her complaints.

[DocJohn]

I'm sorry you feel unsupported and have a question about how we deal with reported posts that seem to violate our community guidelines. I hope I can help answer your questions...

We do not "allow" things just because we don't respond to a thread. Threads and posts need to be reported by a member in order for us to take action. With over 1,000 new posts a day, that is the only way we know something needs looking into.

We do not reply back, in most cases, to the member who reports a thread or post. Instead, we discuss it among the team, and take action if we believe action is warranted because the post or thread violates our community guidelines. If you were not the OP of the thread, it is likely you will not hear from us (because in any good sized thread, there may be dozens of different posters; we simply don't have the resources to notify each member about what happened in that thread).

We do remove posts and threads that are unsupportive or seen as "attacking" another member. A difference of opinion isn't considered an attack in most cases, and others who disagree with the member who has a difference of opinion are of course welcomed to also express their opinions in the matter (as long as everyone does so respectfully).

Recently a thread you contributed to was removed after your report, because there were a number of posts to that thread that violated the community guidelines. You were not the OP, so you were not notified of this action.

We have no record of you asking anything by PM to anyone on the team, I'm sorry to say. You're welcomed to PM me anytime and I'd be happy to discuss this in greater detail in private.

Hope that helps clarify our policies and how we take action.

Best,
DocJohn

[seesaw]

I have to back TishaBuv up on this. I recently stated an opposing opinion to an OP, and that OP went off on me, drudging up stuff from my own threads and twisting them to say very hurtful things towards me. This did not happen in the forums but in chat. But we were talking about/to the OP of a thread on the forums.

Even after I apologized for offending them, the OP continued to harass and malign me.

I agree that often if we comment contrary to what the OP wants to hear we get attacked. It's not meant to be offensive or unsupportive, but to provide a different perspective.

I reported this incident to the mods but have not heard back from them.

For the most part, if someone posts something I disagree with on a thread I started, I either ignore them if it's not something useful to me or if it is truly unsupportive with no intent to support, I report it.

So how do the guidelines cover the situation I reported?

Thanks,
Seesaw

[RubyRae]

Originally Posted by Hopingtrying

I did not directly call out the attackers because it was a case of mentally ill, traumatized and/or closedminded people being triggered

Those sound like such derogatory,inflammatory descriptions to me,especially considering this is a mental health forum.

Just sayin'.....

[seesaw]

Originally Posted by RubyRae

Those sound like such derogatory,inflammatory descriptions to me,especially considering this is a mental health forum.

Just sayin'.....

Hmm, it's not derogatory to me, except the close minded part. Because I am mentally ill, traumatized and easily triggered. I think almost all of us on this website, from my observation, are.

I think it's just a fact, not meant to be an insult. It's the nature of who we are.chatting with.

Originally Posted by RubyRae

Those sound like such derogatory,inflammatory descriptions to me,especially considering this is a mental health forum.

Just sayin'.....

I did not say it on one thread where Tisha was attacked because many (myself included) seemed triggered. A few were focussing on their on trauma (or the OPs) rather than acknowledging the broader points being made. Everyone was geniunely trying to help the OP but just had a different POV. It is how I feel about some of the comments though.......

[RubyRae]

@Seesaw,
And if the word closeminded hadn't been used I probably would agree with you.

If there was a disagreement in the grieving forum we wouldn't say they were sad,lost and/or whiny,right?

[seesaw]

Originally Posted by RubyRae

@Seesaw,
And if the word closeminded hadn't been used I probably would agree with you.

If there was a disagreement in the grieving forum we wouldn't say they were sad,lost and/or whiny,right?

Yes I agree.

Originally Posted by RubyRae

And if the word closeminded hadn't been used I probably would agree with you.

If there was a disagreement in the grieving forum we wouldn't say they were sad,lost and/or whiny,right?

Not mad that you are discussing but what was closeminded was that some seemed only to be considering their feelings--not Tisha's. The thread was so triggering. Perhaps many of us would have been better off not responding...

Oh--and her argument had more merit than people acknowledged until someone jumped in toward the end......Open minded people let people they disagree with express themselves without attacking them. They disagreed in a mean way a couple of times.

[seesaw]

I understand. I didn't know about the thread, so I was just thinking in general.

[RubyRae]

Originally Posted by Hopingtrying

Not mad that you are discussing but what was closeminded was that some seemed only to be considering their feelings--not Tisha's. The thread was so triggering. Perhaps many of us would have been better off not responding...

Oh--and her argument had more merit than people acknowledged until someone jumped in toward the end......

And I also am not mad that you are discussing this.

My whole point of posting here at all is to show how easy it is for everyone to judge the opinions of others and to judge others based on their opinions.

You said some seemed to only be considering their feelings,not Tishas,but that's exactly what you are doing here,considering your own feelings, not that using the word closeminded might hurt or offend others.

Just proving a point here.

It shouldn't be about who's point of view has more merit,all opinions should be respected.

I wasn't a participant in the thread talked about here,but I did read it and I agree nobody should be attacked for stating their opinion.

I think it's easy on both ends for lines between constructive criticism, disagreement, and flaming to become blurred. Everyone has felt strongly about something from time to time and reacted rather irrationally. Everyone has been on the receiving end too. What I usually do is speak to the person and find out their true intentions. If they were not trying to be rude I just agree to disagree.

If they continue attacking me after I've tried to make peace, then I know they just don't care.

Originally Posted by iPhone

I think it's easy on both ends for lines between constructive criticism, disagreement, and flaming to become blurred. Everyone has felt strongly about something from time to time and reacted rather irrationally. Everyone has been on the receiving end too. What I usually do is speak to the person and find out their true intentions. If they were not trying to be rude I just agree to disagree.

If they continue attacking me after I've tried to make peace, then I know they just don't care.

I disagree with this completely. I have been attacked by you in my own thread, and in other PC members threads, that violates the community guidelines. So, technically I have been on the receiving end of your harsh comments, and have not reacted irrationally.

And, you have never chosen to speak to me via PM about why my opinions bother you; you instead choose to attack me in public threads, which again, violates the community guidelines. So, it's very disingenuous for you to claim that you speak to the person and find out their true intentions. You didn't do that with me, the few times that you've attacked me openly in threads here. So, that claim isn't true at all. At least not with me.

If you'd sent me a PM to discuss why my opinion on weak characters bothers you so much, instead of publicly attacking me in threads, I'd have more respect for your opinion. How we treat others' opinions that we disagree with, says a lot about character. If you don't like what someone believes, you have two choices: attack them for their belief, or PM them and discuss their belief with you, to inform you more about why they believe what they do. To accept them for who they are and what they believe, despite it being the opposite of what you believe. And, you don't have to accept the person's beliefs, if you strongly disagree with those beliefs. That's up to you. We are not required to agree with each other, all the time. That is not how life works. Or, just put the person on ignore on a forum, or on your email/text/phone.

Then you write that you know the person doesn't care about your opinion or respect you, if they continue to attack your opinions in threads. The same way I've experienced how you continue to attack me in threads here, and via the chat. So, that shows me that you just don't care or respect the opinions that I have.

And why is it ok, for you to attack people, in their threads, like you attack me? It's not ok! You have never agreed to disagree. Your communication style, I've experienced, is to personally attack other people for having a different opinion than you. And that's productive, how?

Everyone is allowed to have their opinion. If you disagree with it, you can 1) put the member on ignore or 2) choose not to respond b/c you know you'll attack them personally for their opinion or 3) respond that you disagree but go no further, with personal attacks.

Life is full of different opinions. And people disagree with each other. They can disagree respectfully or they can personally attack the other person, which I do think, is a sign of a weak character.

[seesaw]

Originally Posted by cielpur

I disagree with this completely. I have been attacked by you in my own thread, and in other PC members threads, that violates the community guidelines. So, technically I have been on the receiving end of your harsh comments, but I have not acted irrationally. And, you have never chosen to speak to me via PM about why my opinions bother you; you instead choose to attack me in public threads, which again, violates the community guidelines. What is your true intention, doing that?

How do you know what other people's intentions are when they post their opinion? And why is it ok, for you to attack people, in their threads, like you attack me? It's not ok! You have never agreed to disagree. That's not your style. Your style, I've experienced, is to personally attack people for having a different opinion than you. Everyone is allowed to have their opinion. If you disagree with it, you can 1) put the member on ignore or 2) choose not to respond b/c you know you'll attack them personally for their opinion or 3) respond that you disagree but go no further, with personal attacks.

Life is full of different opinions. And people disagree with each other. They can disagree respectfully or they can personally attack the other person, which I do think, is a sign of a weak character.

I think how you've responded here and in other posts is a sign of your character, cielpur. You complain a lot about these qualities or habits, but you never look in the mirror and see that you, yourself, are just as guilty of them.

When I apologized to you in chat, you refused to accept, claiming that I "intended" to insult you, when you just above said you can't know what other people's intentions are.

Life is full of options, and I notice that you tend to be extremely confrontational, have high expectations that you believe every one should live up to, even if they don't agree with those expectations, and refuse to budge on any beliefs or opinions you have. I think it would benefit you to learn to communicate assertively rather than aggressively and to wait to respond to something instead of responding out of impulsiveness and anger.

Seesaw

Originally Posted by cielpur

I disagree with this completely. I have been attacked by you in my own thread, and in other PC members threads, that violates the community guidelines. So, technically I have been on the receiving end of your harsh comments, and have not reacted irrationally.

And, you have never chosen to speak to me via PM about why my opinions bother you; you instead choose to attack me in public threads, which again, violates the community guidelines. So, it's very disingenuous for you to claim that you speak to the person and find out their true intentions. You didn't do that with me, the few times that you've attacked me openly in threads here. So, that claim isn't true at all. At least not with me.

If you'd sent me a PM to discuss why my opinion on weak characters bothers you so much, instead of publicly attacking me in threads, I'd have more respect for your opinion. How we treat others' opinions that we disagree with, says a lot about character. If you don't like what someone believes, you have two choices: attack them for their belief, or PM them and discuss their belief with you, to inform you more about why they believe what they do. To accept them for who they are and what they believe, despite it being the opposite of what you believe. And, you don't have to accept the person's beliefs, if you strongly disagree with those beliefs. That's up to you. We are not required to agree with each other, all the time. That is not how life works. Or, just put the person on ignore on a forum, or on your email/text/phone.

Then you write that you know the person doesn't care about your opinion or respect you, if they continue to attack your opinions in threads. The same way I've experienced how you continue to attack me in threads here, and via the chat. So, that shows me that you just don't care or respect the opinions that I have.

And why is it ok, for you to attack people, in their threads, like you attack me? It's not ok! You have never agreed to disagree. Your communication style, I've experienced, is to personally attack other people for having a different opinion than you. And that's productive, how?

Everyone is allowed to have their opinion. If you disagree with it, you can 1) put the member on ignore or 2) choose not to respond b/c you know you'll attack them personally for their opinion or 3) respond that you disagree but go no further, with personal attacks.

Life is full of different opinions. And people disagree with each other. They can disagree respectfully or they can personally attack the other person, which I do think, is a sign of a weak character.

So, give me an example, or a quote of something I said? You think that anyone pointing out something you did wrong is attacking. If people are allowed to have opinions, I am allowed to think that you are wrong. Attacking would classify as name calling or threats, which I have not done.

I'm not a yes-man, if you ask for advice I'm going to give it and not sugarcoat everything. If I agreed with everything you said and never called it as I saw it that would be an insult because it would mean I thought you weren't strong enough to handle hearing my opinion.

And after I saw how you responded when seesaw tried to make peace with you, I didn't think it would do any good for me to PM you. I really think you need to get into therapy...and that's not meant to insult, it's because you really need help.

[Artchic528]

I'm much like iPhone here. If you post, I'll give you my honest opinion on the matter. I tend to not sugar coat things. I don't see the point. I may come across as brunt or bold, but it's never my intention to hurt or trigger anyone.

On the flipside, I've been harassed here in the forums, and in chat a number of times. A disgruntled member even made a second account on here for the sole purpose of trolling me. I know who it was and told a moderator, yet I see that member's main account was not touched. Granted, there may have been some behind the scenes work going on that I can't see, so I'll not be too angry about this. The second account was suspended though, so I guess that's a step in the right direction. I was always under the impression that having more than one account on here was grounds for suspension. Was I wrong in thinking this?

[seesaw]

I think will quote Sabby here by saying that the point of this community is to provide support to each other. If your comment on a post is not in the spirit of support, then it's best not to post.

I personally think that if a thread is getting you worked up or a person commenting won't leave well enough alone, then block them on the forums and unsubscribe from notifications on that thread so it won't trigger you anymore.

And I'm not saying this to preach, I try to follow these rules myself (although I don't always succeed) when I interact with people on the forums and in chat.

Seesaw

Originally Posted by seesaw

I think how you've responded here and in other posts is a sign of your character, cielpur. You complain a lot about these qualities or habits, but you never look in the mirror and see that you, yourself, are just as guilty of them.

When I apologized to you in chat, you refused to accept, claiming that I "intended" to insult you, when you just above said you can't know what other people's intentions are.

Life is full of options, and I notice that you tend to be extremely confrontational, have high expectations that you believe every one should live up to, even if they don't agree with those expectations, and refuse to budge on any beliefs or opinions you have. I think it would benefit you to learn to communicate assertively rather than aggressively and to wait to respond to something instead of responding out of impulsiveness and anger.

Seesaw

Look up psychological projections. That is what Cieplur is doing.

She psychologically projects her own flaws and insecurities onto others and I don't blame her for it. After all, it's easier to disown your own weaknesses than to do something about them, right?

[seesaw]

Originally Posted by DarknessIsMyFriend

Look up psychological projections. That is what Cieplur is doing.

She psychologically projects her own flaws and insecurities onto others and I don't blame her for it. After all, it's easier to disown your own weaknesses than to do something about them, right?

I agree that projection is a problem many of us have. But I'm not going to gang up on Cielpur here because she too is here for support.

I do think that many of us expect the world and other people to change for us, and don't understand that we are the only ones who can change. We can choose to be negative or positive about things. Look at my work situation: it's terrible. It makes me insane, but I am making a very honest effort to have a positive attitude and learn how to let things roll of my back and just "keep swimming."

I think a big issue of people with MI is, yes, projection, and also an unwillingness to acknowledge our own power and control over our lives. People often want to take a victim mentality - everything is being done TO them, purposely. That's just not the way it is. Things happen, you can be a victim if you want to. Or you can be a survivor and move on.

Seesaw

Everyone deserves support here...

Sadly, and in my opinion, in the past year or so Psych Central has gotten more like High School Central.

I'm thinking of backing out, too.

[tradika]

I think this thread should be closed. The basis of the thread was to get a response from the moderation team. That has been done. The rest of the thread seems to be about rehashing of old hurt feelings. Let's face it, some people here get triggered by others, but at the end of the day this is just a forum. That is it. Don't go to bed thinking about something someone over the internet said or did. They don't impact your real life unless you let them.

Originally Posted by tradika

I think this thread should be closed. The basis of the thread was to get a response from the moderation team. That has been done. The rest of the thread seems to be about rehashing of old hurt feelings. Let's face it, some people here get triggered by others, but at the end of the day this is just a forum. That is it. Don't go to bed thinking about something someone over the internet said or did. They don't impact your real life unless you let them.

That's a very good insight into what SHOULD be and how we SHOULD act.

Some of us can't do that. Some of us get hurt. And that is totally not understandable to those who have a thicker skin.

I think that should be considered. Just a thought.

Originally Posted by sophiesmom

That's a very good insight into what SHOULD be and how we SHOULD act.

Some of us can't do that. Some of us get hurt. And that is totally not understandable to those who have a thicker skin.

I think that should be considered. Just a thought.

I don't think anyone said you shouldn't be hurt just that this thread isn't helping anything.

[seesaw]

Originally Posted by tradika

I think this thread should be closed. The basis of the thread was to get a response from the moderation team. That has been done. The rest of the thread seems to be about rehashing of old hurt feelings. Let's face it, some people here get triggered by others, but at the end of the day this is just a forum. That is it. Don't go to bed thinking about something someone over the internet said or did. They don't impact your real life unless you let them.

Actually it hasn't. I asked a question of the moderation team and they have not responded to it.

Seesaw