[tyranover]

Okay I must preface this with the fact that I am extremely tired, so I don't know how coherent I will be.

So I've been seeing this issue (and perhaps many of you have as well) with chat; That is, nobody seems to be chatting, at least most of the time. There are brief spurts of conversation but it never seems to last long, a stark contrast to the state of chat just a few years ago.

I want to try and resurrect chat. I want to know why people aren't chatting, what's driving them away, and how we can try to make it into something great again.

I can pinpoint when chat started going downhill; When we moved to the new client. I'd love to change to a different client but I'm well aware that's probably not a viable option, so we have to work with what we have to bring some life back into the place.

What are some problems you guys see with chat as it stands? How do you think we can fix them or approach fixing them?

[seesaw]

I keep hearing people compare chat to what it was a few years ago - a few years ago when people did sex talk all the time and it was like walking into a porno in the chat rooms. When people were getting triggered all the time and there was constant fighting and people getting really upset. When people didn't do self care...

Perhaps the chat client is a problem, although I don't have many issues with it. Is it perfect? No. Although I do like that it remembers your ignore list, unlike the old chat client when you had to re-ignore people every time you entered.

I don't know, I spend quite a bit of time in chat, and I don't notice the problem you are referring to. Throughout the day people are having conversations, then it drops off when people leave, but it picks back up again. There are certain times of day when it can be stagnant, but it's going to ebb and flow.

The reason why it's a stark contrast is for the reasons I mentioned above, DocJohn disallowed sex talk, and a lot of people left because they didn't like that, while those of us who are here for support were extremely appreciative.

A lot of people just aren't comfortable in a chat room versus on the forums.

I think one way that we could breathe life into the place is that we do have scheduled chats, but we can only promote them in the chat announcements area. As a chat host, I have tried to promote the Work Support Chat in the Work and Careers forum but it always gets moved, so the people who might be interested, never see it, because no one checks the chat announcements, especially if you're new to the site and don't know your way around yet. So it would be nice if we could be allowed to post reminders about hosted chats in the specific forums where they would be relevant.

Seesaw

[Gus1234U]

i agree with you, Tyranover~! for me, the worst thing is the chat list... it lies.
i never know who is actually in the room, who is inactive, and who has just left their name in the room for 8 days. surely there is some tech-tweek that can be done about that~! at least then when i use "Who's In Chat", i might find out if i want to go or not.

also, i find that the system we used to have of announcing people entering the room is gone. so no one gets greeted, and they leave without notice, too. a lot of people feel ignored enough in real life, who needs that in a support chat ?

One problem I have with going into chat is I had a scare, which caused me to go permanent invisible on the forum and we can't go invisible in chat so I rarely go into chat nowadays.

[MistressStayc]

Originally Posted by Gus1234U

i agree with you, Tyranover~! for me, the worst thing is the chat list... it lies.
i never know who is actually in the room, who is inactive, and who has just left their name in the room for 8 days. surely there is some tech-tweek that can be done about that~! at least then when i use "Who's In Chat", i might find out if i want to go or not.

also, i find that the system we used to have of announcing people entering the room is gone. so no one gets greeted, and they leave without notice, too. a lot of people feel ignored enough in real life, who needs that in a support chat ?

This soooo much!! I just came back to PC a couple weeks ago and this is my issue with chat as well. People are logged into chat when they aren't even there anymore it seems. I don't know how this is happening. It drives me crazy. I noticed at one point that I was logged in when I wasn't even there. I clicked on Who's in chat? and saw my own name, lol.


Having announcements when people come in and out would be such an improvement too,

[marvin_pa]

Might be just me (and my old fashioned ideas ), but I find the concept of chatting to people that I don't know, or when I don't know exactly who's going to be in the room kinda off-putting. I'd probably prefer something more akin to the old AOL Messenger, where you specifically contact someone/they contact you & then you chat. (This might be possible under the current system tho - I've never ventured that far in.)

[Gus1234U]

well, that's a whole 'nother peeve, Marvin~! i can't get the Chat PM's to work,, i don't know what they are supposed to do, but they don't do anything, except frustrate me~

[*Laurie*]

I've never participated in chat on PC. Many years ago I used to do chat online. I dunno...it's just not really my thing. I prefer the forum format.

In usually on my iPhone/Safari and it is really hard to use chat, so I just don’t.

[MoxieDoxie]

Originally Posted by seesaw

I keep hearing people compare chat to what it was a few years ago - a few years ago when people did sex talk all the time and it was like walking into a porno in the chat rooms. When people were getting triggered all the time and there was constant fighting and people getting really upset. When people didn't do self care...

Perhaps the chat client is a problem, although I don't have many issues with it. Is it perfect? No. Although I do like that it remembers your ignore list, unlike the old chat client when you had to re-ignore people every time you entered.

I don't know, I spend quite a bit of time in chat, and I don't notice the problem you are referring to. Throughout the day people are having conversations, then it drops off when people leave, but it picks back up again. There are certain times of day when it can be stagnant, but it's going to ebb and flow.

The reason why it's a stark contrast is for the reasons I mentioned above, DocJohn disallowed sex talk, and a lot of people left because they didn't like that, while those of us who are here for support were extremely appreciative.

A lot of people just aren't comfortable in a chat room versus on the forums.

I think one way that we could breathe life into the place is that we do have scheduled chats, but we can only promote them in the chat announcements area. As a chat host, I have tried to promote the Work Support Chat in the Work and Careers forum but it always gets moved, so the people who might be interested, never see it, because no one checks the chat announcements, especially if you're new to the site and don't know your way around yet. So it would be nice if we could be allowed to post reminders about hosted chats in the specific forums where they would be relevant.

Seesaw

Really you are blaming sex? I blame it on the most boring topics. Either it is always about food (which triggers me) or gaming or some other boring crap because the minute you discuss anything controversial you are stopped. There is no real distraction on chat anymore. The minute you even mention you are having a difficult time you are booted to the emotional support chat where no one goes.

So chat no longer serves its purpose for me.

[FallDuskTrain]

Tyran
Is the above post out of impulsivity because you were having a bad day or is it really a big concern? Do you have a solution as to how to resurrect chat? You presented bunch of problems yet offer no solutions.

[FallDuskTrain]

Originally Posted by MoxieDoxie

Really you are blaming sex? I blame it on the most boring topics. Either it is always about food (which triggers me) or gaming or some other boring crap because the minute you discuss anything controversial you are stopped. There is no real distraction on chat anymore. The minute you even mention you are having a difficult time you are booted to the emotional support chat where no one goes.


So chat no longer serves its purpose for me.

Coffee house is supposed to be light hearted chat that is why I go to the coffee house because I do not want to deal with the emotional pain, triggers, darkness that comes with the forums. I am too sick for it. And this is my personal decision. Again coffee house is for lighthearted chat and it is not to discuss your deepest troubles. For that, you go to to ES. And there are always people who are willing to help. Always. Therefore one has to accept that it is a normal behavior when chatters in the coffee house ask you to take your troubles to the ES chat room.. It is called ‘following the guidelines.’
Also, I remember vividly that one day, yourself refused to go to the ES chat room when someone asked for support because you had said that you were having a tough day. That was your response on that particular day.
And if you find the topic of food triggering, how do you think some chatters feel when others talk about politics or deep personal struggles? Politics, religion and topics alike can be deeply personal for some members, including myself.
So in summary, the coffee house has a purpose of being a room for light hearted chat, which means the topics will be limited to light hearted conversations. simple as that.

[MistressStayc]

I will agree that things are much more watered down than they used to be and I'm not talking about sex talk. Like Moxie said, anything considered controversial or remotely triggering even by one person and it's a no go. Honestly, I find it hard to just be myself in there sometimes and feel like I'm constantly minding my words. It would be nice to just talk about whatever freely.

[seesaw]

It's a chat on a mental health website. If you want to discuss whatever you want to without the restrictions that keep people feeling safe, then go to other chat rooms. There are plenty out there for politics, religion, controversial topics, etc.

[seesaw]

Originally Posted by FallDuskTrain

Coffee house is supposed to be light hearted chat that is why I go to the coffee house because I do not want to deal with the emotional pain, triggers, darkness that comes with the forums. I am too sick for it. And this is my personal decision. Again coffee house is for lighthearted chat and it is not to discuss your deepest troubles. For that, you go to to ES. And there are always people who are willing to help. Always. Therefore one has to accept that it is a normal behavior when chatters in the coffee house ask you to take your troubles to the ES chat room.. It is called ‘following the guidelines.’
Also, I remember vividly that one day, yourself refused to go to the ES chat room when someone asked for support because you had said that you were having a tough day. That was your response on that particular day.
And if you find the topic of food triggering, how do you think some chatters feel when others talk about politics or deep personal struggles? Politics, religion and topics alike can be deeply personal for some members, including myself.
So in summary, the coffee house has a purpose of being a room for light hearted chat, which means the topics will be limited to light hearted conversations. simple as that.

Thank you for saying this, Fall. I am very grateful for the guidelines surrounding chat topics. I don't need intense debates on controversial topics when I come here. If I want that I can easily find a Facebook group or other forum/chat room to do that and give me that kind of stress.

I come here to chat mostly to keep things light and have some distraction from the very difficult things I have to deal with in my life and with my MI. If I need support, I ask to go to ES. If I want to discuss something serious or more adult, but not ES, I ask others to go to ES with me. It's rare that no one comes along. A few weeks ago some of us were having a discussion that included some discussion of sex, but was within the guidelines, and so we went to Adult Chat so we wouldn't upset anyone. It's really not that difficult to be polite and conscientious about what you're saying and where.

The purpose of PC chat is not to be able to talk about whatever you want. It's first and foremost a site to support those with MI, as DocJohn says repeatedly. If you want/need something else, then find the appropriate venue for that. Don't force it on us.

That's my two cents.

Seesaw

[MistressStayc]

Originally Posted by seesaw

It's a chat on a mental health website. If you want to discuss whatever you want to without the restrictions that keep people feeling safe, then go to other chat rooms. There are plenty out there for politics, religion, controversial topics, etc.

I'm just talking about things that come up in the natural progression of adult conversation. I am not looking to discuss particularly hot topics but occasionally they do come up in some capacity as they do in everyday life but even touching on them in general seems to be a no go. I like conversation that flows as is not always about "safe" things or but a more realistic reflection of regular life. I'm just saying that doesn't seem possible in there sometimes.

[seesaw]

Originally Posted by MistressStayc

I'm just talking about things that come up in the natural progression of adult conversation. I am not looking to discuss particularly hot topics but occasionally they do come up in some capacity as they do in everyday life but even touching on them in general seems to be a no go. I like conversation that flows as is not always about "safe" things or but a more realistic reflection of regular life. I'm just saying that doesn't seem possible in there sometimes.

I've seen this happen numerous times, I do it too, and all I see that happens is that someone suggests we take it to Adult so that we don't upset anyone. Or we realize we're treading the line and so someone mentions it and everyone goes, oh yeah, cool, we'll shift focus...I haven't seen anyone freak out because a topic comes up, I think people only get upset when they are asked to take it to another room and won't. There are people who literally the first thing they do when they come in the Coffeehouse is start in on something totally controversial or upsetting, like immediately talking about how they are suicidal, instead of coming in and asking for support and then going to ES.

Things often come up in the flow of chat and I haven't seen it be an issue unless it starts to get too deep into it and someone asks for people to take it to Adult or ES, and the others refuse (which also is pretty rare).

[marvin_pa]

Originally Posted by Gus1234U

well, that's a whole 'nother peeve, Marvin~! i can't get the Chat PM's to work,, i don't know what they are supposed to do, but they don't do anything, except frustrate me~

To further illustrate my ignorance about this chat client, I'll have to ask what exactly is a Chat PM? Is it different from a regular PM?

And what's the difference between the number of chatters listed at the top of the page & the number shown on the chat bar at the bottom? (If someone has been trying to chat with me via that bottom one, I apologize - never really knew what it represented. I only just realized that clicking on it showed the username of the chatter shown & didn't dump you straight into an ongoing chat...).

Since the subject of potentially controversial/triggering chats has come up, can any of the 'rooms' be restricted to certain invitees? That way, such topics could be discussed between interested parties only.

Yeah, I'm more of an email dinosaur.

Originally Posted by marvin_pa

To further illustrate my ignorance about this chat client, I'll have to ask what exactly is a Chat PM? Is it different from a regular PM?

And what's the difference between the number of chatters listed at the top of the page & the number shown on the chat bar at the bottom? (If someone has been trying to chat with me via that bottom one, I apologize - never really knew what it represented. I only just realized that clicking on it showed the username of the chatter shown & didn't dump you straight into an ongoing chat...).

Since the subject of potentially controversial/triggering chats has come up, can any of the 'rooms' be restricted to certain invitees? That way, such topics could be discussed between interested parties only.

Yeah, I'm more of an email dinosaur.

Chat PM is similar to forum PM, basically you click their name in chat and click message (can't remember offhand exactly what it's called in chat and as i said in my post I'm not safe going into chat so I rarely go there now) and it comes up with a new tab in chat itself where you can chat to that person, only you and the person you're chatting with can see it

[tyranover]

Originally Posted by FallDuskTrain

Tyran
Is the above post out of impulsivity because you were having a bad day or is it really a big concern? Do you have a solution as to how to resurrect chat? You presented bunch of problems yet offer no solutions.

I had no intention of only bringing up problems. I wanted to discuss both issues people see and try and find solutions to them. I don't have any solutions; That's why I asked

[tyranover]

Originally Posted by FallDuskTrain

Coffee house is supposed to be light hearted chat that is why I go to the coffee house because I do not want to deal with the emotional pain, triggers, darkness that comes with the forums. I am too sick for it. And this is my personal decision. Again coffee house is for lighthearted chat and it is not to discuss your deepest troubles. For that, you go to to ES. And there are always people who are willing to help. Always. Therefore one has to accept that it is a normal behavior when chatters in the coffee house ask you to take your troubles to the ES chat room.. It is called ‘following the guidelines.’
Also, I remember vividly that one day, yourself refused to go to the ES chat room when someone asked for support because you had said that you were having a tough day. That was your response on that particular day.
And if you find the topic of food triggering, how do you think some chatters feel when others talk about politics or deep personal struggles? Politics, religion and topics alike can be deeply personal for some members, including myself.
So in summary, the coffee house has a purpose of being a room for light hearted chat, which means the topics will be limited to light hearted conversations. simple as that.

I agree, coffeehouse should be a place where all can be comfortable.

My issue is that nobody seems to talk in coffeehouse, at least the last dozen or so times I've logged on

[seesaw]

Originally Posted by tyranover

I agree, coffeehouse should be a place where all can be comfortable.

My issue is that nobody seems to talk in coffeehouse, at least the last dozen or so times I've logged on

That's really been the complete opposite of my experience. When I go in peoplr.are talking. Maybe it's the time of day you are going into chat?

[*Laurie*]

Originally Posted by seesaw

Thank you for saying this, Fall. I am very grateful for the guidelines surrounding chat topics. I don't need intense debates on controversial topics when I come here. If I want that I can easily find a Facebook group or other forum/chat room to do that and give me that kind of stress.

I come here to chat mostly to keep things light and have some distraction from the very difficult things I have to deal with in my life and with my MI. If I need support, I ask to go to ES. If I want to discuss something serious or more adult, but not ES, I ask others to go to ES with me. It's rare that no one comes along. A few weeks ago some of us were having a discussion that included some discussion of sex, but was within the guidelines, and so we went to Adult Chat so we wouldn't upset anyone. It's really not that difficult to be polite and conscientious about what you're saying and where.

The purpose of PC chat is not to be able to talk about whatever you want. It's first and foremost a site to support those with MI, as DocJohn says repeatedly. If you want/need something else, then find the appropriate venue for that. Don't force it on us.

That's my two cents.

Seesaw

Like I posted, I have never participated in chat here on PC. But I do think about doing it and might give it a try one of these days. Maybe it's inappropriate of me to comment on your post, Seesaw, since I have been on chat. But if/when I do, I completely agree with what you've posted. The last, last, last thing I would want to experience in chat is debates about politics or ANY controversial topics. Ugh. If I feel up to dealing with that kind of discourse, Facebook is the place, as are news sites and an endless number of online sites.
I come to PC because I can feel safe and relaxed here, not on guard all the time.

Thanks for your input on the chat subject, Seesaw...I feel more confident about maybe joining chat now.