[unaluna]

I know i say the wrong thing a lot. As a result, i get put on the ignore list. Thats okay, i understand why.

OTOH, more than one member recently has remarked how QUIET the forums have been. May i suggest they review their ignore lists and see if they have grown too long? Maybe some people have learned their lesson.

I certainly apologize to all for my bluntness and carelessness in responding and hope to be more supportive in the future. I admit, i often do not understand the nature of a person's difficulties.

[lizardlady]

Una, I'm sorry you feel this way. I've never seen you say the wrong thing, never seen you be rude or unkind.

[DocJohn]

FWIW, most members have nobody on ignore. And for the ones who do use the Ignore list, they usually only have a handful of members on it.

The forums are quieter for the reasons I stated in the thread on General Social.

[unaluna]

Originally Posted by DocJohn

FWIW, most members have nobody on ignore. And for the ones who do use the Ignore list, they usually only have a handful of members on it.

The forums are quieter for the reasons I stated in the thread on General Social.

"a handful..." - and im the sore thumb! Thanks doc john. We cross posted.

[Rive.]

Originally Posted by unaluna

I know i say the wrong thing a lot. As a result, i get put on the ignore list. Thats okay, i understand why.

OTOH, more than one member recently has remarked how QUIET the forums have been. May i suggest they review their ignore lists and see if they have grown too long? Maybe some people have learned their lesson.

I certainly apologize to all for my bluntness and carelessness in responding and hope to be more supportive in the future. I admit, i often do not understand the nature of a person's difficulties.

I think you are being harsh on yourself.

I don't find your posts being anything other than good-intentioned and actually wanting to help posters shift from a helpless mentality to more empowering stance.

Your posts offer insight into how to move beyond the 'stuck' or 'powerless' stance some posters adopt. You do not enable people, you actually offer true support and I often find myself agreeing with you.... Unfortunately, many do not want to see any other viewpoint but their own.

Food for thought: is offering a different perspective 'wrong'?

I, for one, really appreciate your contributions.

[unaluna]

Thanks, Rive!

I am not sure if my "traits" are nature (on the spectrum) or nurture (neglectful upbringing). Either way, this forum has been very helpful in making me more aware of the importance of being sensitive to others' feelings.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by unaluna

I know i say the wrong thing a lot. As a result, i get put on the ignore list. Thats okay, i understand why.

OTOH, more than one member recently has remarked how QUIET the forums have been. May i suggest they review their ignore lists and see if they have grown too long? Maybe some people have learned their lesson.

I certainly apologize to all for my bluntness and carelessness in responding and hope to be more supportive in the future. I admit, i often do not understand the nature of a person's difficulties.

The ignore list is not about punishing others for doing wrong. if you are on someone's ignore list its because they are taking care of their self and their own triggers.

I do use the ignore feature. and yea my ignore list is long.

the length of my ignore list is mostly because members already on my ignore list leave the forums for a time or delete their accounts and come back as new member. or they have forgotten that they have the other account.

If I already have a member on ignore as one username, I automatically place them on ignore as their new username. it's actually not hard to recognize when a new member is a returning member as a new username, or someone has changed their username.

I dont remove old usernames off my ignore list because sometimes people go back to using their old usernames and old accounts.

I initially will put someone on my ignore if I notice we are constantly clashing about the same issues over and over again.

a difference of opinions once or twice on the same issues is not a big problem all around, but a repeated pattern time and time again. that's a problem and not only for one or the other member.

its needless stress for both members involved, the community at large and the moderating team that must deal with two members who have a firm stance on the same issues and are repeatedly clashing over the same issues time and time and time again.

so, I use the ignore.

if I find myself constantly butting heads over the same issues with the same member time and time again, I take the high road. I put them on ignore and walk away from the clashing and debating.

I can't control what triggers another person, I can understand and sympathize with them but not control another's triggers. That said I can control how I choose to react to someone else's trigger response of constant clashing over the same issue time and time again whenever I post about certain things.

my choice is not sit there continuing to discuss, debate and clash over the same issues time and time again with the same member time and time again, but rather take the high road of ignore and walk away from the repeated clashing situation with the member.

in other words, ignore isn't a punishment.

it's a tool the site uses to help members with their triggers and have a good experience with using the site. and keeping the site safe for all.

[Nammu]

I’m the same way UnaLuna I’m blunt too. But I think you are more kind than I am.

[Mountaindewed]

I use the ignore list when I'm talking about my health that doctors have said is legit and people start jumping down my throat about it.

There was one member who was really bothering me who isnt on much anymore but he does regularly look at my page and reports my posts.

[MuddyBoots]

I love your responses una (yours too Nammu). I know I'm on a few's ignore list, but I do understand people getting triggered some of my posts (and to be fair sometimes I'm a straight up a-hole).

Like Rive, I don't think the "no viewpoint other than my own is valid, and mine is best and right and always best and right" is the way to go, but hey, to each their own. I do have an ignore list though, but because of members who post content I find more harmful than helpful (it is a very short list too)

[anxiety sux]

well because idk you i dont know what you said in reference to what, but,i don't think that anyone should EVER feel like they need to apologize for being who they are. I know that is easier said than done. i should probably follow my own advise but im working on it. I am also brutality honest( except with myself) so most people know not to ask me a question UNLESS you can handle the absolute truth.

[MuddyBoots]

Originally Posted by anxiety sux

...so most people know not to ask me a question UNLESS you can handle the absolute truth.

Or just a perspective they don't want to hear. I'm sure you don't know the absolute truth all the time (none of us do), but input from another POV can be helpful which is why we as a society discuss/debate/bicker/fight or whatever else is along the lines of conflict when it comes to subjective opinions or philosophical/moral differences (there is healthy conflict and harmful conflict).

[Mountaindewed]

It also comes down really to who the member is vs what is being said. I said pretty much the exact same things about a medication that another member did and got ignored while this member got a lot of support.

The cliques that have been going on may be driving people
away. I know I'm not the only one who has noticed it.

[unaluna]

Yeah at this point i hope people just ignore cuz im old. Even tho i dont feel like an old person. Like im too immature to be elderly

Possible trigger:

and left stranded on an ice floe.

[anxiety sux]

*NEVER * I should read before I post

[MuddyBoots]

Originally Posted by unaluna

Yeah at this point i hope people just ignore cuz im old. Even tho i dont feel like an old person. Like im too immature to be elderly

Possible trigger:

and left stranded on an ice floe.

I refuse to believe you're whatever tf old is. In a good way, like "you're not the old grouchy bytch" way

[Rive.]

I wish you wouldn't keep being so harsh towards yourself..

[unaluna]

Originally Posted by Rive.

I wish you wouldn't keep being so harsh towards yourself..

Thanks. Self-deprecation, incl humor, was definitely a defense i developed growing up. Coworkers used to tell me to stop it, but i couldnt let it go. i didnt realize i was doing it here. Thanks for the insight.

[Rive.]

Sorry, I didn't mean to come across as 'judgy', I only meant that I wished you would own our own insights. posts, and unique voice unabashedly, 'tis all!

[unaluna]

I didnt see it as judgy at all. I heard it as very caring.