[kaems]

Ummmm, so I have a Masters degree in Clinical Psychology and I was recently diagnosed with Complex PTSD. I have not experienced prolonged trauma, but rather several, unrelated traumas over the last 9 years. The most recent one almost killed me. I'm not sure why I'm even writing this, but I guess I'm hoping this will be therapeutic. I'm struggling alot right now and I am not comfortable talking with anyone other than my therapist. I guess that's all.

[Skeezyks]

Hello kaems: Welcome to Psych Central! PC is a great place to gain support as well as to obtain mental health related information. There are many knowledgeable & caring members here. The more you post, & reply to other members' posts, the more you'll gain from the time you spend here.

I have some understanding of your circumstances. As it happens, I have a Master's degree in Vocational Rehabilitation. I'm retired now. But I used to be a Certified Rehabilitation Counsellor. And, although I have never been diagnosed as having it, I'm quite sure I have some PTSD as well. I don't know how old you are, or what your professional work experience is, but I do know that having an advanced degree in a professional field, & having worked in that field, it is a unique (& somewhat disturbing) experience to suddenly find yourself on the other side of the desk, so to speak. You've always been the one counseling other people. And suddenly you're sitting there being counselled by someone else. And what makes it doubly difficult is that you know what it is they should be doing. And you can identify all of the things they're doing wrong! It's sort-of like they say about doctors. They make the worst patients!

Anyway, I understand your reluctance to dive in here on PC. However, I will tell you that this is a great place. (It's my second time here. I left at one point, but recently decided to come back.) So I hope you will gradually find yourself able to participate. With your educational background, plus your personal experience of PTSD, I'm sure you will be able to be of much help to other members. And they, in turn will be of much help to you. Best wishes...

[Open Eyes]

kaems, welcome to PC and the Post Traumatic Stress Support forum.

I got to know my last therapist pretty well, found him in 2011 not long after I joined Psych Central myself. It took me a while to find a good therapist that understood PTSD. I was very overwhelmed when I started therapy, and I was lucky that this therapist, seeing how bad I was, worked with me on a curve.

What I found out from him is that a lot of people who become therapists do struggle themselves. It is not unusual for a therapist to breakdown and need therapy themselves. My therapist finally told me that he experienced a breakdown himself not long after his father passed away. His father was a psychiatrist and was in charge of a very large mental hospital. I have to say, that this therapist's journey with his own challenges had benefited me a great deal because he was so good at validating me, at listening and supporting me the way I had really needed it at the time. It is not unusual for a therapist to reach out to other therapists for help, and also connect with other therapists to share information.

So, you are not the only one with a masters in Clinical Psychology that has their own personal struggles. Actually, while I understand that you are struggling with Complex PTSD and may need to take some time for your own therapy, eventually, you can become a therapist that can help a patient in a way where the patient will actually have a therapist who deeply understands their challenge.

In this forum alone, there have been many different individuals that share their deepest concerns and often many come and share here because they so want to know they are not alone. It takes time to understand PTSD when one is struggling with it. I know for myself I would get triggered, experience a PTSD cycle and not even really understand what triggered me. I was so lucky to have found PC when I did because I was so bad that I was having very strong suicidal impulses. What really saved me was coming across a vet that was a member at the time and he told me to pay attention because even though these impulses can come on strong, they also go away. That really saved my life because I paid attention and realized he was right, so I worked through many of these waves and I eventually shared just how bad it was with my therapist and he helped me slowly work past this stage of PTSD.

I looked up complex PTSD, I saw the symptoms, and I did have all of them, but what I had to work on is whatever it was that had hurt me that caused me to "avoid" that I was not aware of as well as talk about them and learn ways to slowly heal past them, or at the very least, get better at managing them when they happened.

So while you are struggling right now and reaching out for help and support, eventually, you will learn enough so your personal experience along with your Master's degree can help others in a way you had not thought of before. When you learn to first help you, you will slowly learn ways that can help others do the same. The one thing I always say is PATIENCE, is so important to develop when anyone struggles with this challenge. It is not anyone's fault they struggle, even though it feels like it, and sadly society, even family will say things that encourage one to feel guilty somehow.