[dad2016]

I'm 51 and suffering from cPTSD as a result of 6 years childhood sex abuse by a family member and 10 years of physical abuse by a parent.

I had buried many of the more violent and disturbing assaults and events deep in my brain as a child (survival). Now a flood of those memories keeps coming daily (for approx. 5 months). Cant sleep, can't get the memories out of my head, can't stop some of them from this continuous looping, can't think, socially withdrawing, pushing away people that want to help....
Seeing my pDoc next week and hoping for more clues on how to cope. It basically very debilitating and has put my family life on the back burner.

Please, does anyone have any advice?

[skeksi]

I had really bad memory loops and intrusions when I started T--and T did a lot of problem solving to make it more manageable. We had to find ways to deal with flashbacks (safe place, guided meditation, progressive relaxation) and make practical changes in my life to help me feel safer.

It's awful, when the memories won't leave you alone. But you will survive it and you will feel better.

[MtnTime2896]

The best advice I can give you is to try awareness therapy for the flashbacks. Sit in a room away from people, or if people are there just kind of sit quietly or whisper to yourself. What you do is, you take a look around you (with me sometimes I can't even see my surroundings so I put my hands in ice cold water or pinch myself to force myself to see everything) then you focus on every little detail around you. What time does the clock say? Is it messy in here? How many cracks are on the wall in front of me? Etc.
This helps me get through the flashback. When it comes to pushing people away who want to help, I can't tell you. I'm still learning that myself. To be honest, its gotten really bad for me too. I'm going on six months with this and its gotten so much worse than when it started. With your family, I don't know any healthy way to deal with that with my own. I know its rough right now but I'll hang in there as long as you do. You'll get through this even if it takes a while.

[WhatDayIsItAgain]

I tell myself that my brain is trying to process the memory that is looping over and over. I try to visualize a box and putting it in the box; it doesn't always stop it but it can help me get a sense of control over the "why" its looping about the "what" type of memory... instead of "it" just happening to me randomly. I have more success putting it in a box to confine it more than "go away" or "disappear". Our brains have physical changes that can be identified with brain scans so we are not "crazy" we are indeed "hurt". Many vets/others want an official name change to pts-syndrome or pts-injury instead of pts-disorder exactly for this reason. 1of3 people get this from suffering trauma (earthquake, caraccident, war, rape, etc) so it is a large percentage of people who avoid painful danger triggers of their accurate memories and that makes it a "normal" response to an abnormal situation. If you have never been in a caraccident and avoid cars... that is not okay and not ptsd; if you have never been raped and avoid men... that is not okay and not ptsd. Our avoidance panic might not be helping us in a current situation but it is not delusional either. Sometimes memories stay buried until your mind is strong enough to handle those memories. Perhaps the last few months have allowed your brain to finally locate them and they are looping as your brain tries and tries and tries again to process a solution to a unsolvable stress/event. Mindfulness could help with putting a "in the past" label on those memories that pop up "now". I wish I had better advice. Sorry that is all I know about myself and my "problems".

[Fallenangelrising29]

i have them. and it feels like im stuck on stupid. my ptsd untreated for as long as ive had plus trauma after trauma and drug use...its caused me a world of misery. I have depersonalization issues bad.