[leomama]

I just realized the proper subject is when is fear an appropriate emotion?

I am feeling anxiety this morning, due to events in my real life and my online life. The events in my real life I have to deal with.

For example I got woken up by my daughter coming home looking for her iPod because she dropped her iPhone in the toilet at her boyfriend's house. She spent the night there without my permission. I had been dreaming about the communal house I used to live in, and my deceased grandmother was in my dream.

For those of you who believe that energy centers are real, I feel my heart chakra wide open.
Somebody asked me in another forum if my PTSD was due to my mother. I said she started it but right now I'm thinking about my PTSD in my adult life too. That's why I have complex PTSD, the trauma doesn't stop, the stress doesn't stop. Although I divorced my mentally ill and substance abusing husband now I have a mentally ill and substance abusing teen.

A relationship with a parent is not a relationship between equals and the child does not share equally in the responsibility. In fact the parent is supposed to be responsible for the child. My parents weren't responsible for me in fact my father told me as an adult that he believed when I was in middle school that if I wanted to go to college I would find my way there on my own. He believed he had no responsibility towards me, since my IQ was so high I didn't need help. It wasn't until after I got my associates degree that I found out about the LD that was causing me trouble in science. I first got a bad mark in school in science when I was in 7th grade and my parents didn't think that warranted their attention even though I had been skipped past 1st grade. I was so discouraged I started experimenting with tobacco and alcohol but it didn't occur to them that I might have been depressed. They blamed me for everything. That was not the start of my trauma. I had traumatic experiences much younger , in 2nd grade.

On another forum I was talking about codependency. I recognized I was codependent before I moved out of my parents house and in fact I used that knowledge to propel me out of the house.
I picked up a quote about healthy dependence between a child and their parents which I will try to attach. My father otoh never allowed me that healthy dependency.
My upbringing was very complicated as I do have a sibling that was allowed to be dependent because he has a disability. The ironic thing is I ended up getting dx with a learning disability after my associates degree and dx with a mental health disability after my divorce.
I've had a dx of PTSD for 10 years.


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[Trace14]

Originally Posted by leomama

I just realized the proper subject is when is fear an appropriate emotion?

I am feeling anxiety this morning, due to events in my real life and my online life. The events in my real life I have to deal with.

For example I got woken up by my daughter coming home looking for her iPod because she dropped her iPhone in the toilet at her boyfriend's house. She spent the night there without my permission. I had been dreaming about the communal house I used to live in, and my deceased grandmother was in my dream.

For those of you who believe that energy centers are real, I feel my heart chakra wide open.
Somebody asked me in another forum if my PTSD was due to my mother. I said she started it but right now I'm thinking about my PTSD in my adult life too. That's why I have complex PTSD, the trauma doesn't stop, the stress doesn't stop. Although I divorced my mentally ill and substance abusing husband now I have a mentally ill and substance abusing teen.

A relationship with a parent is not a relationship between equals and the child does not share equally in the responsibility. In fact the parent is supposed to be responsible for the child. My parents weren't responsible for me in fact my father told me as an adult that he believed when I was in middle school that if I wanted to go to college I would find my way there on my own. He believed he had no responsibility towards me, since my IQ was so high I didn't need help. It wasn't until after I got my associates degree that I found out about the LD that was causing me trouble in science. I first got a bad mark in school in science when I was in 7th grade and my parents didn't think that warranted their attention even though I had been skipped past 1st grade. I was so discouraged I started experimenting with tobacco and alcohol but it didn't occur to them that I might have been depressed. They blamed me for everything. That was not the start of my trauma. I had traumatic experiences much younger , in 2nd grade.

On another forum I was talking about codependency. I recognized I was codependent before I moved out of my parents house and in fact I used that knowledge to propel me out of the house.
I picked up a quote about healthy dependence between a child and their parents which I will try to attach. My father otoh never allowed me that healthy dependency.
My upbringing was very complicated as I do have a sibling that was allowed to be dependent because he has a disability. The ironic thing is I ended up getting dx with a learning disability after my associates degree and dx with a mental health disability after my divorce.
I've had a dx of PTSD for 10 years.


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I think fear is appropriate when it's a reasonable feeling.

[leomama]

Thank you, I appreciate that. I don't have any real threats in my life today. That helps.

[KuriWinterSun]

Fear should be perfectly acceptable when it is felt that it is needed. Being a afraid is better than ignorant of a danger you perceive.

[Trace14]

Originally Posted by leomama

Thank you, I appreciate that. I don't have any real threats in my life today. That helps.

Fear doesn't always have to be a threat though. Fear of getting older, fear of heights, and these fears are reasonable to these people. So it's appropriate when these people get older, or in high spots, to feel fear.

[leomama]

Originally Posted by Trace14

Fear doesn't always have to be a threat though. Fear of getting older, fear of heights, and these fears are reasonable to these people. So it's appropriate when these people get older, or in high spots, to feel fear.

Actually something traumatic just happened and I'm feeling fear again, however this time I'm confronting my fear, and willing to deal with the consequences. I am not fighting, fleeing, freezing and I'm trying not to fawn. Its interesting that this situation brought that defense mechanism up.

PTSD is a real challenge sometimes.

[Trace14]

Originally Posted by leomama

Actually something traumatic just happened and I'm feeling fear again, however this time I'm confronting my fear, and willing to deal with the consequences. I am not fighting, fleeing, freezing and I'm trying not to fawn. Its interesting that this situation brought that defense mechanism up.

PTSD is a real challenge sometimes.

Sorry it happened but good response on your part.

[leomama]

Ty, I am getting better, Pete walker's work on c-PTSD is really helping as well my own recovery work on my narc abuse. I appreciate the affirmation. ❤️

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[Trace14]

Originally Posted by leomama

Ty, I am getting better, Pete walker's work on c-PTSD is really helping as well my own recovery work on my narc abuse. I appreciate the affirmation. ❤️

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Pete Walker is the only one ,that I've read about ,that has a clue about CPTSD.
He's da man

There is a book that immensely helped me on this exact issue. It's called The Gift of Fear and its available on Amazon. I highly recommend it.

Originally Posted by Trace14

Pete Walker is the only one ,that I've read about ,that has a clue about CPTSD.
He's da man

I need to read his work...I need help on this exact problem/abuse experience/trauma. Thanks!

[leomama]

Originally Posted by rainyday107

There is a book that immensely helped me on this exact issue. It's called The Gift of Fear and its available on Amazon. I highly recommend it.

Yes I checked it out of the library once

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[Trace14]

Originally Posted by rainyday107

I need to read his work...I need help on this exact problem/abuse experience/trauma. Thanks!

He also has a good website Petewalker.com - Ready For Development I think .