[Trace14]

Getting really quiet in here. Did everyone get cured?
What are your plans for the holidays? Are holidays getting better for you? Worse? If you could change something about the holiday, to make it better, what would it be? Wouldn't it be nice to have your favorite holiday memory come back and have a chance to re-live it?

[Skeezyks]

The Skeezyks does not celebrate holidays...

[leomama]

Originally Posted by Trace14

Getting really quiet in here. Did everyone get cured?

What are your plans for the holidays? Are holidays getting better for you? Worse? If you could change something about the holiday, to make it better, what would it be? Wouldn't it be nice to have your favorite holiday memory come back and have a chance to re-live it?

I'm going to my church this year.

My parents created too much drama for me this fall. I'll see them from Christmas.

[MtnTime2896]

Originally Posted by Trace14

Getting really quiet in here. Did everyone get cured?
What are your plans for the holidays? Are holidays getting better for you? Worse? If you could change something about the holiday, to make it better, what would it be? Wouldn't it be nice to have your favorite holiday memory come back and have a chance to re-live it?

I usually try to avoid this forum/sub-forum. It's one of the few that can trigger me pretty bad.
Holidays are going to be the same as usual for me, as far as I know. Alcohol fueled Thanksgiving and the same routine for Christmas. Family hostility as per the norm. I don't think anything will be different this year. There is one good thing, though. My little brother was in the hospital through all of the holidays last year and this year he's home.

If I could change anything about the holidays....I wouldn't know where to begin. Give my mom weed so she's not drinking. Give my dad weed so he's not yelling. Do the cooking for my mom so she's not hurting (but I suck at cooking and she's the master of her kitchen). Not have everything out at my dad's house so that I don't have to worry as much about flashbacks. Everyone actually happy instead of pissed and depressed.

In conclusion of that last paragraph: I guess, if I had a magic wand, I'd get rid of hostility and alcoholism.

I don't mean to bring anyone down. Just ignore this post.

[Trace14]

Originally Posted by Só leigheas

I usually try to avoid this forum/sub-forum. It's one of the few that can trigger me pretty bad.
Holidays are going to be the same as usual for me, as far as I know. Alcohol fueled Thanksgiving and the same routine for Christmas. Family hostility as per the norm. I don't think anything will be different this year. There is one good thing, though. My little brother was in the hospital through all of the holidays last year and this year he's home.

If I could change anything about the holidays....I wouldn't know where to begin. Give my mom weed so she's not drinking. Give my dad weed so he's not yelling. Do the cooking for my mom so she's not hurting (but I suck at cooking and she's the master of her kitchen). Not have everything out at my dad's house so that I don't have to worry as much about flashbacks. Everyone actually happy instead of pissed and depressed.

In conclusion of that last paragraph: I guess, if I had a magic wand, I'd get rid of hostility and alcoholism.

I don't mean to bring anyone down. Just ignore this post.

I understand about the alcoholism. Maybe we should adopt the "perfect families" for the holiday I wish I could find that excitement about the holidays, I really miss that. I live on my own and I could create my own happy holiday but I just don't.
You are not bringing everyone down. We share your pain, and wish things could be better for everyone.

[Altarian]

Originally Posted by Trace14

Getting really quiet in here. Did everyone get cured?
What are your plans for the holidays? Are holidays getting better for you? Worse? If you could change something about the holiday, to make it better, what would it be? Wouldn't it be nice to have your favorite holiday memory come back and have a chance to re-live it?

I loath the holiday season because it brings back memories of someone that i wish was still here. But i try to put on a mask so that my kids enjoy the holidays thanks to my parents and my wife's family spoiling them since my wife and i can't afford to give them anything big. Sometimes i wish i came from a culture that didn't celebrate the holidays. All in all it's a very bad time of the year for me with all the consumerism, working long hours so that the owners of the company can have a great holiday with their family, and seeing the look on my kids faces when there is a tree but Santa doesn't leave anything more than one small gift.

[PumpkinPieHead]

Deadbeat family decided to cancel the holidays. Issue is moot due to the fact I don't want to attend gatherings with them anyway.

Sometimes I join friends at their celebrations, sometimes I stay home alone.

[Trace14]

Originally Posted by Altarian

I loath the holiday season because it brings back memories of someone that i wish was still here. But i try to put on a mask so that my kids enjoy the holidays thanks to my parents and my wife's family spoiling them since my wife and i can't afford to give them anything big. Sometimes i wish i came from a culture that didn't celebrate the holidays. All in all it's a very bad time of the year for me with all the consumerism, working long hours so that the owners of the company can have a great holiday with their family, and seeing the look on my kids faces when there is a tree but Santa doesn't leave anything more than one small gift.

I agree that the holidays have become too commercialized and the peer pressure to get these huge gifts wears on the gift givers and receivers. It's sad, but that's what society has made it. I think this is more of a hardship for parents and younger kids. As I got older, the family decided to downsize gifts and start enjoying the time together more. But even that's hard when major influences of the holiday have passed away and their absence is so greatly missed. My wish for you is to enjoy the things you do have, to count these blessing and share these blessings with the family.

[Trace14]

Originally Posted by PumpkinPieHead

Deadbeat family decided to cancel the holidays. Issue is moot due to the fact I don't want to attend gatherings with them anyway.

Sometimes I join friends at their celebrations, sometimes I stay home alone.

You make a good point there. Sometimes it is very smart to celebrate with friends, or even people you don't know to make you feel the spirit of the holidays. Go to a nursing home and visit people on Christmas. There's always some older person there that has no family. Serve food at a shelter. Volunteer with an organization that collects toys for kids. There's just so much more than spending time with a family that ruins that feeling for you.
I think involving kids in these programs also shows them that there are a lot of people who live with a lot less, and that they should be grateful for all they have. To show the gift of giving to others. Thanks for bringing this forward.

[Unrigged64072835]

We'll have a small Thanksgiving, as my daughter will be with her boyfriend's family and they're a boisterous bunch. So a couple of Cornish game hens and some green bean casserole.

We'll probably open presents Christmas Eve, depending on when my daughter works. (She's in retail and may be working 12 hour shifts.) Then she'll spend Christmas with her boyfriends family and we'll have another small quiet dinner.

Between Thanksgiving and the beginning of December I might be more anxious than usual. My second husband died the beginning of December so even though it's been a long time it can be rough.

We avoid all the shopping and commercialization during the holiday season. We pretty much shop online for everything and give gift cards and cash to the kids. A lot less stress that way.

[bluemonday]

Based on my reaction to the title, I'm guessing I don't have any plans.

My reaction? holidays? what holidays? It took me a minute to remember what month we're in.

Anyhoo, my mom, dad, and brother are gone, and my sister, 18 hours away, will spend it with her husband, 2 boys and daughter-in-law. I know she'd welcome me, but I haven't been in a very good place for a few months and I never know if being with them will help or if I'll struggle to appear ok.

Maybe I'll get a big wreath and hang it on my balcony...yeahhh, that's the ticket.

warmly, bluemonday

What if the hokey-pokey really is what it's all about?

[SvanThor]

Being with family.

[Trace14]

Originally Posted by Fharraige

We'll have a small Thanksgiving, as my daughter will be with her boyfriend's family and they're a boisterous bunch. So a couple of Cornish game hens and some green bean casserole.

We'll probably open presents Christmas Eve, depending on when my daughter works. (She's in retail and may be working 12 hour shifts.) Then she'll spend Christmas with her boyfriends family and we'll have another small quiet dinner.

Between Thanksgiving and the beginning of December I might be more anxious than usual. My second husband died the beginning of December so even though it's been a long time it can be rough.

We avoid all the shopping and commercialization during the holiday season. We pretty much shop online for everything and give gift cards and cash to the kids. A lot less stress that way.

Oh yes, I agree that gift cards are the ticket It's more so now than ever so hard to get families together at the holidays. I know when I was married the stress of hitting all the relatives during the holidays was a real pain. We were so glad when it was over so we could rest. It does take so tactical deployment training to get around to them all. And too, remembering the ones that are not longer with us is hard that "empty chair" thing. I try to not think that dad is here, but how much I love him still and that he would want me to be happy and live on. But that is very hard. We are sharing some good ideas about how to get through the holidays and I hope these will help others.

[Trace14]

Originally Posted by bluemonday

Based on my reaction to the title, I'm guessing I don't have any plans.

My reaction? holidays? what holidays? It took me a minute to remember what month we're in.

Anyhoo, my mom, dad, and brother are gone, and my sister, 18 hours away, will spend it with her husband, 2 boys and daughter-in-law. I know she'd welcome me, but I haven't been in a very good place for a few months and I never know if being with them will help or if I'll struggle to appear ok.

Maybe I'll get a big wreath and hang it on my balcony...yeahhh, that's the ticket.

warmly, bluemonday

What if the hokey-pokey really is what it's all about?

The wreath sounds like a wonderful idea. I tend to decorate outside more than inside. I guess to give the impression everything is okay. Kind of how we live our lives. Make the outside appearance that everything is okay, but inside we are troubled. Also, I think it's harder to decorate inside when you are alone. But I do enjoy seeing the outside decorations and miss them when they are gone. Everything looks so blah then. Glad we could bring you up to the current month It is hard to believe it's Nov. when it's so warm outside. I'm still getting tomatoes off the plants outside, it's crazy. But typical for NC weather.

[Trace14]

Originally Posted by SvanThor

Being with family.

Well you are one of the fortunate ones that has said being with family is a possibility, or is it? If so that's great, cherish those moments.

[Trace14]

Originally Posted by bluemonday

Based on my reaction to the title, I'm guessing I don't have any plans.

My reaction? holidays? what holidays? It took me a minute to remember what month we're in.

Anyhoo, my mom, dad, and brother are gone, and my sister, 18 hours away, will spend it with her husband, 2 boys and daughter-in-law. I know she'd welcome me, but I haven't been in a very good place for a few months and I never know if being with them will help or if I'll struggle to appear ok.

Maybe I'll get a big wreath and hang it on my balcony...yeahhh, that's the ticket.

warmly, bluemonday

What if the hokey-pokey really is what it's all about?

Forgot to say, I chuckled at the Hokey Pokey signature. As I get older ....yep that's exactly what it's all about

[bluemonday]

NC? North Carolina?! Lived in Asheville for about 10 years. I've lived from South Dakota to Vermont to Florida, and North Carolina to Texas to California, and still love Asheville the most. Mmmm...some good memories. Bittersweet.

[Trace14]

Originally Posted by bluemonday

NC? North Carolina?! Lived in Asheville for about 10 years. I've lived from South Dakota to Vermont to Florida, and North Carolina to Texas to California, and still love Asheville the most. Mmmm...some good memories. Bittersweet.

Yes, North Carolina I'm sure Asheville is absolutely breath taking right now. It is a beautiful place. Wow you travel around a lot. Your job?

[bluemonday]

Ehhh...my job, my Dad's job way back when, then I got this feeling that I couldn't stay in any one place for more than 5 yrs, just various things. I actually went to 9 schools k-12 (if you count 2 reform schools) including 5 high schools. Then 4 colleges - finally graduated after 10 years. I used to move around by myself, sometimes driving a UHaul and towing my car - no biggie Now I'm 60 and don't want to go anywhere without using the gps.

[Trace14]

Originally Posted by bluemonday

Ehhh...my job, my Dad's job way back when, then I got this feeling that I couldn't stay in any one place for more than 5 yrs, just various things. I actually went to 9 schools k-12 (if you count 2 reform schools) including 5 high schools. Then 4 colleges - finally graduated after 10 years. I used to move around by myself, sometimes driving a UHaul and towing my car - no biggie Now I'm 60 and don't want to go anywhere without using the gps.

Wow, you must have lots of stories to tell. can't imagine having that freedom to just drive and set up house in different places. I'm sure the GPS could get you back to Asheville. Be a great place to retire ya know.

Frankly, I just want to stay home and not celebrate. I really don't understand or enjoy the company of other people any more.

[Trace14]

Originally Posted by unguy

Frankly, I just want to stay home and not celebrate. I really don't understand or enjoy the company of other people any more.

I understand. Some people just want to skip through the holidays, seems as I get older they mean less to me but I see how families want celebration for their kids. We all have to do what we have to do for ourselves.