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Default Jul 18, 2017 at 12:19 AM
  #1
Is a journal the same thing as a diary?
Do you share your journal with your T?
When do you know that something in your journal needs to be shared with your T?

I use to journal but it kind of confirmed my lack of communication with others, like my T. It was a place to write memories, but that didn't help to slow them down.

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Default Jul 18, 2017 at 01:59 AM
  #2
I have a couple times over the years, but never on a regular basis. I found it helpful during my daughter's two hospitalizations. I've never shared anything that I've written.

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Default Jul 18, 2017 at 03:34 AM
  #3
Journalling is a refuge for me. I try to spend fifteen minutes a night decanting the contents of my brain into something else. I've shared some bits and pieces, but not much. Last time I did, R ended up wiping her eyes.

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Default Jul 18, 2017 at 04:40 AM
  #4
I kept a journal throughout most of my late childhood/early teen years, it was really interesting to go back through them and see how my perspective on things completely flipped on its head.
I quit journaling though, because as I grew older and my ways of expressing my thoughts and memories increased it became hard to deal with.
I shared with my T once, and in that moment he called my pdoc and they made a mutual decision to pull me out of school.

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Default Jul 18, 2017 at 11:45 AM
  #5
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Originally Posted by reb569 View Post
I have a couple times over the years, but never on a regular basis. I found it helpful during my daughter's two hospitalizations. I've never shared anything that I've written.
Do you think that you didn't share it because you felt like it was resolved by writing it? That writing it took the stress off of that situation?

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Default Jul 18, 2017 at 11:53 AM
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Originally Posted by porcelainboy View Post
I kept a journal throughout most of my late childhood/early teen years, it was really interesting to go back through them and see how my perspective on things completely flipped on its head.
I quit journaling though, because as I grew older and my ways of expressing my thoughts and memories increased it became hard to deal with.
I shared with my T once, and in that moment he called my pdoc and they made a mutual decision to pull me out of school.
<<I quit journaling though, because as I grew older and my ways of expressing my thoughts and memories increased it became hard to deal with. >> That writing in the journal became harder?

<< I shared with my T once, and in that moment he called my pdoc and they made a mutual decision to pull me out of school.[/QUOTE] >> That would be upsetting when it happened for me. But I think later I would look at it differently once I calmed down. Did it upset you? Are you still upset?

I'm sorry that happened but happy that the T cared enough to act on what you wrote.

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Default Jul 18, 2017 at 11:55 AM
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I have trouble knowing what to share with a T and what not to. Or what they need to know to help me. Basically if they don't ask I don't tell. I've tried writing out my history and giving that to them but it doesn't seem to interest them. And that's frustrating for me because it's hard to write down most of the traumas and you know these are the roots to your adult problems and no one cares.

Writing in a journal did help but I was reluctant to share that with the T, and it was probably something she should have known......but I didn't know for sure.

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Default Jul 18, 2017 at 01:22 PM
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I used to journal a lot. Probably everyday for a couple of years. I never do now. Sometimes I try, but things just appear blank.

I think at the time, I had so many thoughts and feelings, that it helped getting them out and helped me place them in some kind of order.

I used to doodle / draw a lot too and have shared these with my T.

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Default Jul 18, 2017 at 06:24 PM
  #9
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Do you think that you didn't share it because you felt like it was resolved by writing it? That writing it took the stress off of that situation?
It helped some, but I guess I just felt it was for my eyes only. I never even thought of sharing it with my therapist or anyone else.

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Default Jul 18, 2017 at 07:43 PM
  #10
I had journaled off and on for many years. However, I end up ruminating and getting angry on paper (or in a text file), so it wasn't helping me. I never showed my journal to T, because I didn't want other people to know how angry I could get.
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Default Jul 18, 2017 at 08:32 PM
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It helped some, but I guess I just felt it was for my eyes only. I never even thought of sharing it with my therapist or anyone else.
Do you think information like what's in a journal would help a therapist?

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Default Jul 18, 2017 at 11:30 PM
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I've never journaled the traditional way with a notebook and paper because I'm not fond of writing without a keyboard or typewriter even.

My journaling "alternatives" were a bit unhealthy.

Back in my high school/young adult days, for example, I had a replica Death Note (for those who may not know, Death Note is an anime about a kid genius who finds a supernatural Death Note that can kill anybody who's name's written on it so he uses the Death Note to kill all the criminals to make a perfect world), only my Death Note replica was used to write the name of every single person who caused me any type of pain, from bullies to girls who rejected me. I had to stop doing it because I found myself wishing that I really could kill all of these people along with every child abuser and rapist in the world.

I also tried keeping a digital journal but doing so only reinforced my negative thinking because I would feel compelled to vent and talk about unhealthy things, especially when I'm hurting.
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Default Jul 19, 2017 at 12:21 AM
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I've never journaled the traditional way with a notebook and paper because I'm not fond of writing without a keyboard or typewriter even.

My journaling "alternatives" were a bit unhealthy.

Back in my high school/young adult days, for example, I had a replica Death Note (for those who may not know, Death Note is an anime about a kid genius who finds a supernatural Death Note that can kill anybody who's name's written on it so he uses the Death Note to kill all the criminals to make a perfect world), only my Death Note replica was used to write the name of every single person who caused me any type of pain, from bullies to girls who rejected me. I had to stop doing it because I found myself wishing that I really could kill all of these people along with every child abuser and rapist in the world.

I also tried keeping a digital journal but doing so only reinforced my negative thinking because I would feel compelled to vent and talk about unhealthy things, especially when I'm hurting.
What you wrote is understandable. Most people do want to lash out and hurt those that have hurt them. But you wrote on paper and didn't act on it. A show of tremendous strength, but more important is that you realized it was not healthy for you to harbor hate in this way to where it could have manifested into something really bad. You have got to recognize how big that was. Teen years can be some horrible years anyway, with all the changes our body goes through, we are part kid and part adult, it can be heavy burden just from that. Then when you add trauma on top of that is truly can be horrible.
I'm 58 years old and still wish child abusers would spontaneously combust. Or people who abuse the elderly or animals. But wishing that and acting on that are two different things. I do believe in Karma and those bad people will get theirs one day. I may not know anything about but it will come to them. And I find some comfort in that.

I've journal ed online, in fact there's some sites that are set up for journaling. Password protected. I too would rather keyboard to correct my mistakes, spellcheck, etc. Plus I've had surgery on both hands so holding a pen or pencil for very long makes my hand hurt. Thanks for sharing.

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Default Jul 19, 2017 at 01:00 AM
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<<I quit journaling though, because as I grew older and my ways of expressing my thoughts and memories increased it became hard to deal with. >> That writing in the journal became harder?

<< I shared with my T once, and in that moment he called my pdoc and they made a mutual decision to pull me out of school.>> That would be upsetting when it happened for me. But I think later I would look at it differently once I calmed down. Did it upset you? Are you still upset?

I'm sorry that happened but happy that the T cared enough to act on what you wrote.
Dealing with my thoughts and writing them down became harder. They became a bit too much, and being that I was paranoid at the time I felt like anything I said would be read by someone else

At the time I was pulled out of school I was actually glad. I couldn't deal with the people at school anymore. I'm still pretty glad, because I'm not sure how I would've dealt with school if I hadn't been pulled out. It wasn't safe for me (other kids threatening violence, actual violence) and it wouldn't have been safe for them either, I don't think.

My T did make the right decision! I just don't keep a journal to show him anything else LOL

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Last edited by porcelainboy; Jul 19, 2017 at 01:00 AM.. Reason: Messed up formatting
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Default Jul 19, 2017 at 01:19 AM
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Do you think information like what's in a journal would help a therapist?
Maybe some, but a lot of what I wrote during those time frames I actually have communicated to her verbally at some point. Probably not all of it, but a good part of it.

I also don't care for writing with pen an pencil. My handwriting is horrible.

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"I feel like an outsider, and I always will feel like one. I’ve always felt that I wasn’t a member of any particular group."
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Default Jul 19, 2017 at 01:26 AM
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I used to journal everyday as a teenager. Then my mom found my notebooks. She made me watch as she burnt all of it. Poems, short stories and all my journals gone. I've never put anything on paper since.

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Default Jul 19, 2017 at 01:29 AM
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Originally Posted by Trace14 View Post
Is a journal the same thing as a diary?
Do you share your journal with your T?
When do you know that something in your journal needs to be shared with your T?

I use to journal but it kind of confirmed my lack of communication with others, like my T. It was a place to write memories, but that didn't help to slow them down.

Hi there. I journal all the time on my computer. it helps me vent and get my thoughts out of my head and on paper. it has really helped me a lot.
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Default Jul 19, 2017 at 01:33 AM
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Dealing with my thoughts and writing them down became harder. They became a bit too much, and being that I was paranoid at the time I felt like anything I said would be read by someone else

At the time I was pulled out of school I was actually glad. I couldn't deal with the people at school anymore. I'm still pretty glad, because I'm not sure how I would've dealt with school if I hadn't been pulled out. It wasn't safe for me (other kids threatening violence, actual violence) and it wouldn't have been safe for them either, I don't think.

My T did make the right decision! I just don't keep a journal to show him anything else LOL
I'm glad that all worked out okay for you and that you had the care of the T's to help you. Seems like you are turning out to be an "okay Joe" You are doing a great job, keep it up.

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Default Jul 19, 2017 at 01:38 AM
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Maybe some, but a lot of what I wrote during those time frames I actually have communicated to her verbally at some point. Probably not all of it, but a good part of it.

I also don't care for writing with pen an pencil. My handwriting is horrible.
I would rather type mine, after carpal tunnel surgery on both hands, holding a pen or pencil for too long is not comfortable. Just for the record if you have to have both hands done, separate the surgeries about 6 mos apart, just saying Not my best moment as you might imagine. They were like 3 wks apart, not enough time That's all I'm going to say about that

So the information was important for the T to know.

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Default Jul 19, 2017 at 01:40 AM
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I used to journal everyday as a teenager. Then my mom found my notebooks. She made me watch as she burnt all of it. Poems, short stories and all my journals gone. I've never put anything on paper since.
That's horrible. I'm so sorry. How about in the computer? You could keep it safe there and only you have access? You sound like a gifted writer, you need to keep that up and live through your writing

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