I just realised what I'm doing

I've been getting increasingly anxious these last few weeks and it's taking a toll on my fingers of which several are infected and painful now due to me tearing at the nails and sides and making them bleed. The anxiety is getting intolerable and driving me to thoughts of self harm. Thinking about this it just hit me that what might be going on is because I am trying to force myself to overcome my depression by going into work and trying to keep doing activities and avoid sinking into shutting myself off from life and giving into my feelings, which i have a tendency to do when down, but instead I am now making myself more anxious by making myself face situations I find stressful. I can't win.

Maybe you need to ease into work and other activities more gradually. It's great you are trying to NOT shut off and sink into bad stuff! It's the good direction, just do it more gradually, IMO.

I can kind of relate to this I don’t have infected fingers though

Oi. 🤗🤗🤗 prayers

Like Fuzzy Bear, I can relate to you. I have no infected fingers either.

When I try to do too much, I lose touch with myself, stop taking enough care of myself, have less compassion for myself and then find myself suffering abandonment depression. I then find all my energy goes into reconnecting to my inner child and self love and care. Then I have to recover from the exhaustion and deal with waking up and dealing with nightmares that I can't remember. (I can go to bed having worked hard to improve my mental health, to wake up anxious and in a low mood, Like I have today)

Much love and hugs to you Carmina