#whats the worst thing someone told you?

That was horrible.

((((((( raging vortex )))))))

I feel like I’m walking on eggshells with you.

As a result of chronic abuse, victims may struggle with symptoms of PTSD, Complex PTSD if they had additional traumas like being abused by narcissistic parents or even what is known as “Narcissistic Victim Syndrome” (Cannonville, 2015; Staggs 2016). The aftermath of narcissistic abuse can include depression, anxiety, hypervigilance, a pervasive sense of toxic shame, emotional flashbacks that regress the victim back to the abusive incidents, and overwhelming feelings of helplessness and worthlessness.

11 Mandatory Rules for Dealing With a Narcissist | Liberation after Narcissistic Abuse

When reviewing things that were said to you that were mean and degrading, it helps to understand that mean things are often said by people who are narcissistic as described in the things I posted. This tends to bring about a need to revisit these terrible things said and done to you. I know I did this myself a lot, but what about looking at these symptoms, why you experience this challenge, are you dealing with these challenges and how can you work on finally healing to where you can begin to give yourself permission to disconnect from the individuals that contribute to these feelings of shame and unworthiness and guilt.

TishaBuv, you need to pay attention to this because you have gotten sucked into this a lot with your mother/family.

You know it's not really so much the cheese burger but how it made you feel when your parents insisted you eat something you simply don't like to eat. It's lack or respect and not caring about your feelings and needs that this memory represents. It's the tone of how you tended to be treated in the bigger picture that can trigger what that felt like emotionally.

Yup. That’s the dynamic with my mother and us daughters. I thought my sisters saw it and would stop the game, but they further played into it and turned on me. But now I understand their deal and will forever avoid it.

The ‘eggshells’ comment— No one ever said it to me before except my gf who said it to use against me, implying I was hyper jumpy when in reality she was so over the top that no one would have put up with her venom. But this time it was my son who said it because I asked him something about what’s going on with my other sons, and he just had a reflex of saying ‘Don’t jump at me’. I really didn’t jump, just asked, but he is so sensitive and there is too much bad drama going on with the family at the moment...not my fault or doing. When I spoke with him after he said he ‘feels like he’s walking on eggshells’. Now, he’s just a kid, never heard that term before psychologically, so I truly take it to heart.

Why does so much of everything become like a game? Great point, OE! I don’t want to play games. Other people too often start the games. Then this causes me to think way too much about what they have up their sleeve and try to stop them from doing me or my loved ones harm. I am way too often on the defense!

Maybe thats not true. It’s not too often. It’s just this one incident that has me reeling and I got a little triggered.

“It’s impossible to love you”.

Lol. Took me years to realize that he was the one who didn’t have love in his heart.

People play games because when they get a rise out of others it gives them a sense of power. You have been played so much that it's going to take time for you to gradually learn how to stop playing their game.

When I read that in the link I presented, I immediately thought of you. And especially when it said "you can't win with narcissists". You have talked about that.

I’m not sure why this is with some people, to play such unnecessary games of control. It serves them no good to do it. They do not get what they want anyway. It just makes bad feelings.

I love literally playing games though. My family likes to play certain board games, games that require intelligence. It was always fun and nobody was mean to anyone about winning or losing or being smart or not so smart. But they are fiercely competitive.

On second thought, my mom and aunt are very haughty and put down others for being not so smart. They never did it to me when I was playing the games with them, even when I was just a child playing games like Scrabble with them. However, I was very smart and sometimes legitimately held my own with them. But, yes, I was made fun of once by my aunt when I made what she thought was a dumb comment. I was kidding and she took it that I was uninformed and teased me like I was stupid. Whatever, it didn’t even bother me. She’s really stuck up.

I resent the day you were born, by my mom. You messed up the family, by my mom. You can't see your siblings, by my mom. You lied about everything, by my mom. There were several more, but I don't want to think about them all night, so I will just leave these.

I want to reply but, what you have all said really says it all...

You're not worth it.

It's in your head.

If you were only stronger...

Why can't you just...

*****...it is all hard for each one of us.
Period.

At the beginning of the decade I attended a service that specialised in helping people who were victims of sexual assault. I went there for many years telling the therapist of flashbacks I started having related to childhood sexual abuse.

Oneday I rang this therapist for support and told him I'm still having flashbacks, he replied by saying, 'you're creating memories!'

I felt shocked and totally invalidated, more so since I had confided in him about very detailed sexual-related flashbacks. Later I saw his colleague who questioned the validity of my flashbacks and often looked at me with a critical/doubtful facial expression when I told her my truth about my childhood.

I left that service re-traumatised and will never go back there again. Totally disgusted because these are the last people you would expect NOT to believe a survivor's story!

PH

I'm so sorry for everyone here. You all deserve so much better.

My ex boyfriend told me that nobody could possibly love me or want to be with me. Anytime I mentioned friends, he acted as if he was shocked and made fun of me.

Once he thought I made them up, because he couldn't believe anyone actually wanting to be my friend. It made me feel low about myself.

He did this so often that I began having low self esteem because he would always put me down and tell me that nobody can deal with me and how crazy I was.... when in fact he was being abusive towards me. When I cried about it, he would get mad at me and threatened to break up with me because I was being emotional and nuts. So I ended up crying once I got home, because he would get angry at me if I showed any type of emotion....

Around 2010 my neighbour said she was going to drive me out of the neighbourhood,her husband found out I suffered with mental illness,he told me,'we don,'t want people like you in the world with us!'It made me feel like a worthless person.

Hugs Marylin

Some people are very ignorant and unfortunately mental illness is still stigmatised. It was almost like you were treated like you had leprosy as though they were afraid your mental illness could be contagious. Anyway I hope you don't have an encounter like that again, Merry Christmas.

PH

“We aren’t really talking. But, in the future, if you ask me a question that directly impacts your plans, I’ll probably answer.”

“You’re a ****ing fat *** big eyed *****”
“If you had a brain you’d be dangerous!”
“I’m only nice to you because I have to be!”

All my life I heard stuff like this until I left my childhood home at this 17

(((((((halliebeth87)))))))