#whats the worst thing someone told you?

omg that is horrible

I was 20 years old (1978) and had left home (Chicago) for Sacramento. After about 6 months in CA, I hooked up with a travelling carnival, and we eventually made it back to the Chicago area, only 2 miles from my mother's house. I wanted to surprise her, so I didn't tell her until we were already there and set up. I was excited about seeing my mother, and I went to call her from a phone booth in the middle of the lot. I said, "Guess where I am ma? Winston Park. Can I come over and see you?"

She said, "No!"

My eyes immediately teared up, and I found myself out in public, in the middle of a busy carnival lot, trying to keep my composure. It was horrific.

I'm now 63, and the last time I saw my mother, she called me a staggering drunk, even though I wasn't even buzzed much less staggering drunk. For comparison, my father was a violent alcoholic, and my brother literally drinks more in a day, every day, than I drink in a year. But I'm the staggering drunk. That was maybe 4 years ago. Haven't seen her since. Right after that, she spent two weeks texting me, not once even mentioning my name much less saying she was sorry. Her last text was "You have a deep-seated hatred for me. I've apologized up and down."

I could go on for 63 years.

I've since forgotten all the terrible things people have said to me, because people made a point of normalizing saying terrible things to me. People saying terrible things to me is the only way people communicate with me. They conceptually can't not say bad things to me because it cannot "register" in their minds to do so - it doesn't make sense not to.

a girl in my class once told me that I have a "broken" face and later when I got a really cool pullover she told me to give it to another guy in my class, because it suits him better/or he looks better in it. It really hurt me, even thought I kind of let it go and didn't make a big deal out of it.

Than once my English teacher, who was a very old women made some gesticulations to me, immplying that I had a big head, what hurt me the most was that my "best" friend was laughing...and I didn't make a big fuss about it either.

Once we had an assignment, where we would portray with words a class-mate and we had to guess who were we talking about. A girl in my class said some really nice things about me and it made me feel very good, until a guy in my class said that she should have added "my big head" in the portray. It kinds sucked!

Yeah, i guess these things happen...

We had huge emotional violence in my house so in my sub-conscious mind, I thought there were normal things and I deserve to be treated this way.

I now see that my silence and not fighting back was a weakness and it culminated in me having major anxiety attacks and later depression. I am healing step by step, and sharing this is part of my healing.

I have to share this too. I was in a internet cafe (this was a thing back in the day) and the girl who was working there asked me if I could watch out for a computer there and I said "okay". I was 8 or maybe 9 years old back then...and a guy in his 20s came and got in the computer she told me to watch out for.
10 minutes later the girls came back and saw that someone was using the computer she told me to watch out for...I remember her screaming "BIGHEAD, you piece of ****, i told you to watch out for the computer, dumbass"...I felt a tight sensation in my chest and quickly left the place.
I really used to love women because I had this huge love for my mother, who was constantly abused by my dad and I thought that all women go through this abuse. Hearing all those nasty words from her really hurt me...but I moved on.

This was my strategy "moving on" or "escapism" ... I had no defensive mechanisms, because all I knew was emotional violence from my father and I had no real way to deal with that, so I started "disappearing" to keep my safety. Making myself bold and strong would imply me standing up to my father and that was a NO-NO for me...

After a football game, i had a little chat with our rivals, and one of the team members was very angry at me for prolonging the game and wasting time.

We were very good friends, and I didn't expect the words he was about to say to me. After an argument about the game, he started shouting "hey, you sisterf***".... in my country this is a very offensive thing to say to someone and if you don't react of beat the **** out of that person it means you are a coward.

And that's exactly what I did, I walked away like a coward, pretending as if nothing had happend. I wasn't sure if i could beat him up, so I moved away as if nothing had happend. I was quite ashamed by what had happend, but i downplayed it, since i had no balls to do anything about it.

So i moved on, ashamed by what had happend, more ashamed that I dident stand up for myself.

You are so bad god took away your hearing. If you do what I say and don’t tell anyone you’ll get your hearing back—- sexual predator to me at 8 yrs old

That was despicable.

I'm so sorry.

I had a younger brother who died of SIDS. I don't remember, since I was only about a year old.

When I was a teen, my mother said to me....I wish you died and not your brother.

--Sarc

Walking away from toxic people isn't being a coward. Instead its more about refusing to play THEIR game because they say mean things hoping you will engage them. Feel sorry for them because this is probably something they learned from their own home environment. These type of individuals are trying to find power to compensate for their own helplessness that plagues them.

You can be the wiser one in choosing not to engage. Toxic people hate that.

Just ran across this thread. I did not realize there are so many other people who have had things like this happen to them.

It's especially hard when it is a therapist who tells you. In the midst of a time when you feel horrible about yourself.

I am not going to say what it was. At this time, anyway.

Don't put your hands over your face when I'm hitting you. - Mum
You are the devil's daughter - Mum
Your son needs to be exorcised and I will do it - Dad
You are like a dog groveling on the ground trying to please everyone - Brother
I have never hit a woman but I could make an exception in your case - ex husband.
You are very difficult to love - ex husband
If you leave me someone will find out you are alone and rape you - ex husband
There is a chasm between us - Mum
If you leave "the religion" God will destroy you - Mum
I am the Captain and the First Mate - Dad
Is she in subjection to you? Dad - to ex husband
By leaving "the religion" you have broken your marriage vows so I can take another wife - ex husband
Don't tell the therapist about "the religion" it's our business - Mum
You are crazy and your son is mad - ex friend's boyfriend
If you are in pain - grit your teeth and get on with it - psychologist on pain management clinic
I will destroy you - ex husband

Nobody is going to love a wh*re like you, told to me at 8 by my abuser.

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You were so sensitive as a child, you probably imagined it. - My Mom upon learning I had been sexually assaulted

I’m only nice to you bc I have to be -stepmother

You fat *** bug eyed *****

You don’t really have friends they just pretend to like you

If you had a brain you’d be dangerous ..

All those were my stepmother

Then in high school a guy found out I self harmed and he called me with number blocked (idk how he get got my cell number) and said he heard what I do and if I wanted help he would show me the right way to kill myself ……I told the school and counselor and they didn’t do anything

Just remembered this, this morning:

"I don't know how you got here, but one thing I do know -- it was your own fault."

This from a psych ward psychiatrist.

Wow that psychiatrist clearly was misinformed and may even have been a narcissist. One can find bad people in many places that give them a sense of power.

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My dad told me the following...
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"Your soul may belong to Jesus, but your *** belongs to me!"
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"It was your fault you probably asked for it"

"Nothing happened, you're fine. You're just being dramatic"

"You were a mistake you weren't supposed to be born"
All of the above, my mum... still slices through me like a sharp blade.

"You've really got to learn to let go of control" (my bestie)