[-Astral-]

my flashbacks are getting so bad that i want to smash my hea against a glass door until i smashes i already tried to before one but then my husband and a friend stopped me still want to do it
flashbacks are getting so bad i feel i cant live any longer with it
my husband has to stay with me 24/7
if he didnt i wouldnt be here anymore

i hate myself

[may24]

I'm sorry you're feeling like that. I wish I could say something that helped.
Is there something specific that could be making your flashbacks worse? Sometimes I go through periods where I'm constantly in a state of hyperarousal and I have flashbacks more frequently. I'm not always able to identify what's causing them, but it helps to know what my triggers are and to be aware of the times where I feel more vulnerable.

[Open Eyes]

(((Astral))), don't hate yourself and don't self blame either. I promise with some patience you will gradually experience a reduction in these flashbacks. I cannot say enough that "patience" is the key. This is not punishment, it's not your fault either and it's important to understand that all flashbacks come in like a wave and the best thing you can do is let them come as they come in a wave, push through you and always receed.

I myself had a terrible time with this, even had suicidal thoughts, that too just comes in waves and receed too, and this stage will pass I promise. This is not your fault and it's not any kind of punishment either so don't even entertain those thoughts. It's ok to acknowlege your flashbacks and keep saying "yes I remember but I am ok NOW". When I got bad and tired, I would go up to my bedroom and lay down and rest and after about 45 minutes I would feel so much better and could get up and function again.

Are you seeing a trauma therapist?

[Amyjay]

Do you have a T helping you? It seems like you and your system might benefit from developing lots of skills to ground in the present day reality. Is there a part inside that can help with some of those strategies to help you all get fully present in the here and now? Uncontrolled flashbacks are a little bit like uncontrolled diabetes or uncontrolled asthma. With the right treatment approach you have a much better chance at keeping everything stable and under control. No wonder you feel so awful with flashbacks coming one after the other with no break.
Who inside can help?