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Legendary
Member Since Dec 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 10,254
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#1
Just coping with ongoing traumatic abandonment with my son. Shot up from sleep last night. PTSD Nothing to say really. Just have to grieve and deal.
__________________ "And don't say it hasn't been a little slice of heaven, 'cause it hasn't!" . About Me--T |
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88Butterfly88, Anonymous32451, bshaffer836, KD1980, MrsA, unaluna
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#2
hugs!.
do you have good coping methods to help you with when stuff like this happens? |
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Legendary
Member Since Dec 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 10,254
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9 1,879 hugs
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#3
Anxiety meds, supportive family and PC to talk about it. At this point, I’ll stop talking about him to them. He wants nothing to do with my husband and me. He also blew off his grandma. Didn’t even wish her a happy birthday. He’s been brainwashed, alienated against us by his now wife because she can completely control him with us out of the picture. She convinced him we are bad and we are certainly not.
__________________ "And don't say it hasn't been a little slice of heaven, 'cause it hasn't!" . About Me--T |
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unaluna
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Legendary
Member Since Dec 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 10,254
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9 1,879 hugs
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#4
It probably sounds like I am over dramatic but I’m not. This really happened. It’s funny how I had read so many articles about narcissist abuse on here, then it actually happened and I was able to identify it. Of course he went willingly. He must not have been truly the wonderful, loving son I thought he was deep down to have been this susceptible to turn 180 degrees like this.
I am convinced that what happened was her brilliant play to get rid of us so she could have her way and control him. It did not originate in his brain. She is the mastermind. Oh well, may they live and be well. __________________ "And don't say it hasn't been a little slice of heaven, 'cause it hasn't!" . About Me--T |
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Legendary
Member Since Dec 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 10,254
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9 1,879 hugs
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#5
And this is what he did to a mother who already suffered from PTSD and he knew it. He even wanted to become a clinical psychologist. Now he says he isn’t worthy of grad school because she’s in control and telling him this.
__________________ "And don't say it hasn't been a little slice of heaven, 'cause it hasn't!" . About Me--T |
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Human
Member Since Apr 2014
Location: Home
Posts: 8,348
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#6
I'm sorry this woman is causing this harm in your family. Even you know, though, that narcissists can be powerful in their manipulation. It may not be that be doesnt love you, she's just manipulating him to do her bidding. My brother's wife is very similar. And we all quite liked her at first. Until she kept driving bigger and bigger wedges between him and all of us.
I'm sorry he has treated you and his grandparents and other family so poorly. I hope that somehow he realizes his mistake and apologizes and spends time with yall again. __________________ What if I fall? Oh, my dear, but what if you fly? Primary Dx: C-PTSD and Severe Chronic Treatment Resistant Major Depressive Disorder Secondary Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder with mild Agoraphobia. Meds I've tried: Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa, Effexor, Remeron, Elavil, Wellbutrin, Risperidone, Abilify, Prazosin, Paxil, Trazadone, Tramadol, Topomax, Xanax, Propranolol, Valium, Visteril, Vraylar, Selinor, Clonopin, Ambien Treatments I've done: CBT, DBT, Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS), Talk therapy, psychotherapy, exercise, diet, sleeping more, sleeping less... |
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TishaBuv
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Legendary
Member Since Dec 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 10,254
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#7
Quote:
If you remember, Seesaw, I started having small issues and seeing the red flags two years ago. Oh boy, that was just the tip of the iceberg! But for now he’s healthy and happy and that’s what matters most. I’ll just keep taking meds and leave them alone. I reached out to him because we were in his town but he ghosted my text. So I will avoid further triggering myself and stay far away. __________________ "And don't say it hasn't been a little slice of heaven, 'cause it hasn't!" . About Me--T |
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seesaw, Underdevelopment
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Human
Member Since Apr 2014
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#8
Yeah, I remember you had concerns about her and decisions he started making after meeting her. I'm sorry it's turned so downhill. I think my assessment of it at the time missed the mark for sure. Ah hindsight is 2020. Just goes to show you have to trust your gut and ignore the faceless ppl on the internet when we don't get it.
All is not lost, I hope. Hopefully after a bit of this selfishness he realizes he misses his family. Especially, hopefully, if they ever have kids. __________________ What if I fall? Oh, my dear, but what if you fly? Primary Dx: C-PTSD and Severe Chronic Treatment Resistant Major Depressive Disorder Secondary Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder with mild Agoraphobia. Meds I've tried: Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa, Effexor, Remeron, Elavil, Wellbutrin, Risperidone, Abilify, Prazosin, Paxil, Trazadone, Tramadol, Topomax, Xanax, Propranolol, Valium, Visteril, Vraylar, Selinor, Clonopin, Ambien Treatments I've done: CBT, DBT, Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS), Talk therapy, psychotherapy, exercise, diet, sleeping more, sleeping less... |
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TishaBuv
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Location: New Jersey
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#9
Sorry to hear you are dealing with this.
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TishaBuv
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Member Since May 2018
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#10
It is so hard to not be able to reach through the screen and give you a bear hug and tell you its going to be ok.
What happens from this point, remember you've survived and been strong. Please remember that. Be kind to yourself. And keep reaching out here. We might not be able to understand, but I promise, we care and want to help however we can. __________________ Belly buttons. To be an Innie or an Outtie. THAT is the question |
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TishaBuv
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Mar 2011
Location: Northeast USA
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#11
It's not unusual for a male child to break ties and want to be on his own. Our children all get to a point where they no longer want to be under our thumb and feel they have to listen to us.
Sometimes we teach a child unknowingly that its ok to stay with a partner you are not happy with. Sometimes they pick a partner we don't like and it could be how this other person has aspects of the things we don't like about ourselves. What IS important is teaching your child to gain the strength to walk away from another person that makes them unhappy or is unhealthy for them. It's important to understand that often the one a child experiments on when it comes to this IS us the parent. Thing is Tisha, while it's hard to experience him distancing from you and ghosting you, he is learning how to do that and it may be the one thing that helps him walk away from this wife if she IS toxic and makes him unhappy. Don't you think your son KNOWS that if his relationship doesn't work out you will open your arms to him even though he has distanced from you? Tisha, your son KNOWS you love him. IF this woman is isolating him so she can control him, it can take him time to finally recognize that and he will need to have some courage to walk away from her. As far as your son distancing from your mother, well, you already know she can be toxic and you yourself have had to distance from her and basically ghost her. You need to admit though that you did play along with her game too. You know your son did see that. |
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Legendary
Member Since Dec 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 10,254
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9 1,879 hugs
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#12
Quote:
__________________ "And don't say it hasn't been a little slice of heaven, 'cause it hasn't!" . About Me--T Last edited by TishaBuv; Jan 01, 2020 at 08:43 AM.. Reason: Add more |
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Legendary
Member Since Dec 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 10,254
(SuperPoster!)
9 1,879 hugs
given |
#13
I went back to sleep this morning and had another nightmare about rejecting son. I woke panicked. I want to run away from everyone in my life and go somewhere else, if I can. This must be c-PTSD that has gotten even worse from this final trauma that keeps on coming. I made an appointment with the last psy who specialized in EMDR. I feel like a very sick woman now.
__________________ "And don't say it hasn't been a little slice of heaven, 'cause it hasn't!" . About Me--T |
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