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Purplegoat83
Junior Member
Purplegoat83 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jun 2021
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 11
2 yr Member
Unhappy Jul 07, 2021 at 07:58 PM
  #1
Why can’t every day be the same? Yesterday Tuesday, I had a really good day. I was able to get up get a shower make breakfast do some laundry and just be OK with life. Then today I woke up (Wednesday) and I just have not been able to move. I tried going outside, but I was like 900° outside so I retreated quickly. I sat on the chair in the living room listening to some music hoping that that would help bring me out of whatever I was going through. I was so irritated. No reason to be irritated. Just flat out irritated. I have two boys, 115 the other one 12, they’ve been disappointed in me all day because all I’ve been able to do is sit in the chair and either sleep or complain about the noise that they are making. I remembered that today is Wednesday. My spouse passed away six years ago July 1,2015on a Wednesday. Wednesdays weren’t always hard. But right now it’s really difficult. And I’m thinking that it’s just because of the timing that she passed away. And the fact that she passed away so unexpectedly. And I found her and I had to rush my kids out the house. It was just too much. And my body just remembers every Wednesday. I just want to forget Wednesdays I have tried so hard to reprogram my brain so that I can think positive. But today is one of those days where I’ve let down everybody, including my kids. They were upset because I can’t n make them dinner. I couldn’t get up and watch TV with them. I couldn’t watch them play their games. I can’t be part of their games. I can barely keep my eyes open. I am so lethargic and unmotivated. I just hope that tomorrow is a better day because I’m really tired of these down days. I am failing my kids. It’s not something that is hard for me to deal with.
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