[black-roses]

These a lot creepy dudes, that's gave me PTSD. Like I think get like angry thoughts about them. Coz like I did a lot of stupid things I sent nudes to this dude and he threatened to send to his friends.

Possible trigger:

Then there was another dude that asked "what would you say if I raped you". He said he loved me. Sometimes I still get thoughts of beating him up. Like it angers me. Coz when I was little and I never told a psychologist this coz it's disgusting but my dad would jerk off into the floor so my mum would have to clean it up. I was like only three years old. I mean it's sickening right. So honestly when any guy says anything or especially when I watch porn and I see a guy jerking off. It's traumatic because I walked in and saw my dad jerking off. Now my dad never sexually abused us. However the way he treated my mum was ****ed up.

So yeah I don't really have trust for men, I feel like I'm gonna be manipulated or abused at any moment. It does upset me still sort of and it's deeply traumatic but I hope one day those memories we'll eventually be in the past forever but until then I just have to put up still with the flashbacks.

[Yaowen]

So very sorry for what happened to you in the past and its negative effects on you these days. It is really heartbreaking!