Chronic & Complex CCPTSD with Crossover Multiple Labels

It saddens me that it was a moderator of another mental health forum who invalidated me publicly by way of telling me that I am too complex. More so that my depth of communication is too complex.

Whilst one of four or five prescribed diagnoses is CCPTSD - Chronic-Complex PTSD -

Like I mean to not play on words re being certified as a complex case - it's the crossover of multiple DXs I feel is too often disregarded. Hell, sometimes I don't know where to post with so many subsections and being formally diagnosed with so many labels.

I've done the rounds and probably known by my sharing so candidly on such things, but for now see no reason to give up. It's time to unravel and present for others who imo get caught up in narrow-minded view or overly identify in one box vs another.

The level of my PTSD I've been subject can be quite extreme and therefore adequately labeled (still heeding my own red flags on victim identity)...

Forgive me... I am exhausted tonight but *&^% it. Depression has been so entrenched all my life on such a deep and abnormal level, it's damaged parts of my brain the same way I know that happens when fearful and rageful thoughts uncontrollably lurch around inside my head where I can't sleep for days on end. The ADHD secondary to the ASD or even that priority changing depending on the level of rumination and flashbacks... man...

Long-term meds don't work with me due to heavy drug use in my past. Speed-like meds just put me to sleep instead of calming me down, and the antipsychotics just sap the life from me with all the major side effects. I don't think I explained that well, but that's OK... tonight I'm just letting the thoughts slide without bothering to polish.

I just remember that heartless moderator who publicly posts on another mental health forum announcing that my communication skills are too complex and unnecessary. I ignored the comment as I have been doing of late, despite the obvious invalidation. I don't think that place was very knowledgeable about the complexities of the many subsections that cited so many labels.

Yet these labels in no way invalidate how I perceive. That statement kind of different but also similar at other times liken to a special needs kid where people make all kinds of claims right in front of them thinking that kid is too damaged to know what's going on around them.

What some people refer to as mindfulness I have used for a long time instead of meds among other things, when I am more able to find the will. That helps me see past the cardboard walls of so many boxes in ways that others could only hope to see.

I'm not taking that comment too personally in getting mad, but it does sadden me as though the invalidation being most untactful from thier position, does hold some truth in terms of what others are prepared to read let alone being able to see when they do.

This speaks volumes on the isolation that so many of us feel. I may as well be moaning and grunting in such instances when it comes to being heard.

Don't mind me as I use this space to rock back and forth.

All good.

Sheesh... how awful of the moderator to treat you that way. So sorry that happened. WTF?!!!

Thanks, Gal. If I may call you Gal. You don't have to convince me that you're 'The' Gal. - Forgive me, as I am overwhelmed these days. If it's not paranoia, it's my inability to read sarcasm that has me feeling toyed with or myself being as blind as others claim or as what I claim of others. That said, I see what I need to see and do my best not to be as loud as I used to be.

Yeah, I am so past WTF but glad you can relate in some way.

I understand the whole 'lived experience' thing when it comes to sufferers or affected individuals contributing. I've been there and done that many times myself, on the front line to varying degrees within the community, pioneering a few of my own helpful ventures.

It takes great skill and humility to integrate on the same level while wearing a hat of authority among peers. The latter part of that sentence ('otherwise') reveals my perspective regarding the pros and cons of captains and officers eating on the lower decks. It's both admirable and effective when done with care, but woefully intimidating and disabling when not.

I come from a mental health forum that, in my opinion, suffers badly from too many safety police who eat carelessly at the tables of their fellow peers. You see, I just took something complex and made it more palatable, but over there, those individuals would publicly silence me and others who dared to speak up, just like that.

Especially when making a point that's not in line with theirs. Granted, I have to use more words than most to navigate complex issues. It helps and feels soothing to take my time. Anyways...

You're right. Like WTF?!!! That mental health forum is not the only one. I often talk about the industrialization of mental health, but this rant is more on point when it comes to such carelessness. In fact, I would say many of these marketplaces are negligent. Some of these communities even have a round table that publicly berates members they consider problematic. Long story short, those places seem to enjoy crushing eggshells with a system similar to autocracy, just behind a veil of... let's say... The Mental Heal UN. (Laughs out loud, if you don't mind).

In my opinion, lived experience, as someone who has played that part many times, is rife with more cons than pros in our world today. The parade of labels and buttons is complex enough, not to mention the concept of safety police triggering left, right, and center when enforcing rigid ideals and publicly shaming others against a backdrop of bias.

I'm not saying all this to proselytize an ideology or system of belief, but you can be sure that when you're accused of such a term while expressing how intimidated you feel when witnessing peers being silenced in such ways and facing it constantly yourself, those projecting like so are the ones who lead in such a way.

It goes beyond self-appointed enforcers reveling in power struggles but not allowing members to even discuss with others in PM ensured that members are contained. Many of these places have a very strong religious ellement at the top and or positioned within their ranks. Such dogmatic mindsets do make the best police. I'm not kidding when I used the term autocracy. Part and parcel of the same thing just done behind a veil of yadda yadda.

I've rambled enough. We do live in complex times yet what is sometimes simply for those of us who've been subject and lived long enough to see, struggle more with the scope of today's reality than we do the side effects of living in such a society.

It was nice to read the sticky written the way it is in this forums spirituality subsections. That at least gives me hope. As for the above ... well I know it's just a matter of time. I'll guess I'll give me take 24 hours and see if this nook and cranny is a place I'm able to work with. If not ... all good. I don't know how more careful I can be whilst sharing what it is that I actually see. I can't be contained in such a way and never will be. That said, with the right protocols, I am as flexible as the next guy. Big stick mentality just bounces right off me. Yea it damages but something inside me can't be tamed in such a way.

So yea ... WTF ... this is who I be and the more they want to bash and shame me like so, the more 'simple' I will call out such complex behaviours for what they are. When you take out the D & D from ODD, you will have less opposition. However, if you continue to focus and project D & D within ODD ... you will continue to get resistance. This not being advice for the kid, but for the Mental Health UN self professed police.

No outbursts here ... just using my words.

Thanks for the WTF?!!!. Well received. Forgive me as I no longer use those buttons. I again use my words. I wish you well as I do most people despite my fear of them.

Take care.