Howdy

After all these years I got diagnosed with CPTSD.
No wonder some strategies for GAd and MDD weren’t working. Was put in lithium and I hated it and took myself off it. Was just too numb. I need to feel my emotions but not to the extent of wanting to unalive myself. So I’m still on heavy meds. Ah. Finding that balance isn’t easy!

Just have read your letter to yourself. How come you weren't diagnosed with CPTSD immediately after it? This world is so crazy sometimes.

You've had more than your share of s**t in this life... I hope, your future is much better. And I think your kids are happy with such caring and thoughtful mother like you! Looks like all the hardships also made you really considerate and kind.

Hmm maybe because they knew I was in the middle of a lot of turmoil back then and expected me to get better, but when I got worse instead while everything else around me had settled for some time, maybe that’s when they realised

And I’m kind of mad at last pdoc because he should’ve seen it but it was a year after he left private practice

I was finally able to tell psych what my brother did to me when we were kids. Just working on dealing with memories as they pop up