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Monster on the Hill
Member Since Sep 2020
Location: by the river
Posts: 5,168
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#1
One trauma response is becoming detached from--or even totally lacking-- sensations (physical, mental, emotional), which totally makes sense, and wanting to get rid of "CPTSD symptoms" makes sense, right?
But this one...doesn't make sense to me. I know learning these things take time, but I've tried working on it, and focusing on physical sensations is panic-inducing. I get there's a reason we're supposed to have sensations in a certain way, but if they're altered, is there really any point or gain to attempt to learn to get back there? A lot of "mindfulness skills" they try walking me through just make me feel worse. I'm sorry if this doesn't make much sense, but the whole concept feels like a rock fell down a hill and there's no point in putting it back up (if it didn't make sense, that probably didn't clear it up). __________________ [Insert thought-provoking and comedic quote here] |
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ogyogm
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Elder Harridan x-hankster
Member Since Jun 2011
Location: Milan/Michigan
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#2
You make more sense than Sysiphus.
I think "their" point might be to reclaim these feelings and hence your entire body as your own. I have thought of myself as only my mind for waaaay too long. |
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ogyogm
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ogyogm
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Monster on the Hill
Member Since Sep 2020
Location: by the river
Posts: 5,168
(SuperPoster!)
4 5,874 hugs
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#3
Quote:
If I make more sense than Sisyphus, you make more sense than me __________________ [Insert thought-provoking and comedic quote here] |
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ogyogm, unaluna
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unaluna
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Member
Member Since Sep 2024
Location: Ukraine
Posts: 46
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#4
This is the way I see Sisyphus:
He wants the rock on the hill. Rock wants nothing as it is just an object, lifeless and empty. Other people ("gods") want rock on the bottom, but just to spite Sisyphus. For me, it is conflict of genuine achievement in life versus the aggressive and destructive society which has no purpose. I too associate myself only with my mind. My body is futile and ridiculed by everyone, starting with my parents. But my mind is free, it goes wherever I wish. Maybe, try to vent your anger on this stupid world of hairless apes? My therapist used to say it helps. It may. |
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unaluna
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unaluna
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Magnate
Member Since Apr 2014
Location: world
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#5
It's scary for me when that happens, I find rubbing my fingertips is a start for me to feel my body, or going for a fast walk with my dog and feeling my muscles as I move. The rest of the time, my body feels alien sometimes.
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ogyogm
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Monster on the Hill
Member Since Sep 2020
Location: by the river
Posts: 5,168
(SuperPoster!)
4 5,874 hugs
given |
#6
Quote:
I don't know. I don't have a "top of the hill" so I can't relate, but that's just what comes to mind when I think of it. I don't really have anger. I mean, I do sometimes, maybe too intensely, but it doesn't really feel like even that's there when it's not all-consuming. Overall, it's just emptiness. I do think of my mind of kind of a place to explore infinitely (and that's cool af), but that kind of roaming alone without direction can get dangerous. __________________ [Insert thought-provoking and comedic quote here] |
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ogyogm
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ogyogm
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Member
Member Since Sep 2024
Location: Ukraine
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#7
@MuddyBoots. oh, I never suggested you or anyone should enclose into his mind. I was just relating to your and other posters' experience. I do try to learn to feel my body and associate myself with my full body and my full mind. With little result yet (but not completely without progress).
Feeling emptiness in place of anger is a strong sign that you should vent. Try to carefully think and remember any wrongdoings anyone caused you, you may start now and work backwards. I did found a lot of suppressed anger there. That won't solve all your problems, but it has made me feel a little bit less tired. If you put your anger into words somewhere like this forum - it will help even more. Also, you may find a lot of resentment instead of anger - it is the other side and is just masking your true emotions. Also, do it when you have energy. All such exercises require a lot of it. |
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