Welcome to Coping with Emotions

when I was 5 I was called a crybaby all too often. I made a vow that I would NEVER cry again. when I was growing up emotions were a sign of weakness, and were to be exploited by anyone and everyone. at least that is what I was taught. (you're crying? I'll give you something to cry about!) so I cut them out of my soul. other life events reinforced that decision, like going to my girlfriends house at the age of 16 and being introduced to her fiancé.

now at 51 years of age, I think I might have actually killed my inner self because both of my ex-wives have told me "nothing bothers you, it just rolls off your back, no matter how horrendous." "you have no emotions!" 46 years that vow has held. I couldn't even get "misty" when my favorite grandmother died!

the vow I made when I was 5? at 51 I still cant cry no matter how hard I try except for a single incident. I had to "put-down" my favorite cat on Christmas day 2012. (he was suffering horribly and dying, and I could not watch him suffer)

I know I need a good cry, but I can only get "right up to the edge" and never go all the way. no matter the song, or movie, or even Gordon Ramsey! I get to the edge and never past it. even lame commercials do that to me. sometimes I will be staring at my computer screen like a zombie (slack mouth drool etcetera) and that is all it takes to get to that edge, but no further. I know it is a combination of my environmental conditioning, and the vow I made at 5 years old, but that 1 - 2 punch seems unbreakable.

so at 51 I am regretting what I did at 5. and since a vow is a lot stronger than a promise, think first before making one. you do not want to end up like me.

Are you familiar with THE INNER CHILD? The child within me and I have not been getting along. It all began when my baby sister was born and I was forced into the adult responsibilities too soon. I was only ten years old, but had no time to live my childhood of fun and adventure. Whenever I tried to express my feelings... I was punished by my mother and abused severely, so I shut out my inner child and became ashamed and scared. Sometimes I asked myself, "Why am I alive"?

Thankyou for this thread.

There are times when I can't even name my emotions but I have learned through various techniques that it doesn't matter too much to have the 'normal' names for them. You can always say it how it is - and also perhaps accept what's happening without judging.

For example; I have this 'runaway train slowing to a stop' feeling right now. I experience this when I manage to hit the 'calming' brakes when I hit overwhelm. When I want everything to stop because it's just too much. I don't know exactly what that emotion is called but I do have a metaphor for it and that always helps me.

Anger has often caught me out but I've been working well at keeping it to more manageable levels over the years. Meditation works really well over time but the physical pulling the runaway train brakes has been a top technique for me.

As for despair, I'm straight out into the open air to connect with nature - no matter what the weather.

Hope that's of some use DrewAngel.

I am overwhelmed by feelings and just don't know what to do what to do. I do have some techniques to make it through

Good for you! Often times we tend to sway toward what our doctors and other significant people "think" is right for us, I.e. Taking meds but when you can assert your own needs and follow through with them and ask for support, you have a leg up on many people! Cuddos to you!

Hello all!!

New here. I seen Coping with Emotions and had to LOL and for sure join.
Some days I wish I had NO emotions. I have them constantly running through my head. The past year has just been all around bad .. but so many times it has been thrown in my face "you are just to emotional". Well to me I am a passoniate person in all I do. I stand for what I believe in. I have a huge heart but also am an open book with an open mouth that tells it how I see it. Which I have now learned just to keep my mouth shut. Hearing them say to me "quit being so emotional" would make me furious and lash out. . . like HOW DARE YOU tell me I shouldn't FEEL a certain way. I still feel that way just have removed myself from most bc I went in a deep depression the past 6 months .. but .. I need advice how YOU deal with emotions. I try to pray and have faith that all is well and take it day by day .. but emotions run through me all day every day. IDK what I will do to every change it! Look forward to hearing from you!

Hi. I hope you are doing well today. I am on the other end where emotions control me and tears flow when I don't even want them to or know why! BUT, something that caught my attention is what you said at the age of 5 - and you were taught crying is a sign of weakness. OMG; how horrible! I have a close friend that just said those words to me that she has learned to suck it up bc crying is a sign of weakness her new boyfriend has told her. I totally disagree .. crying can cleanse the soul .. and it shows you are human. I understand you took that vow at 5 .. but I look at it kind of like at 5 or even 10 I said I was going to be a teacher no matter what...life changes, things change .. even though that "vow" was taken at 5 for you..does not mean you can't change it. Don't hold on to that that was so many years ago. Now, of course I don't have an answer to make you "cry" .. just as I have no answers why I could cry any day at any time...but through therapy and a leap of faith I have learned to truly try and deal with the emotion to myself .. feel it .. and LET IT GO. I just hope you will take it to heart that crying is not a sign of weakness. You are Human. It's totally normal. I hope that you have a great day!!!!!

I totally agree with you, and I have enough self awareness to know that I need a good therapeutic cry. trouble is I still cant do so. not even my therapist has been able to put me on a road to where I might one day be able to cry. so i am left with romantic comedies, action, and sci fi movies to get me as close as I can get in the hope something will break the dam.

knowing it is ok, and being able to do it are sometimes different things.

I thank you however for your input.

on another note, last Monday I got hit with something I could not name. while I have felt this way before, it was never so strong as to make me take notice before. all I knew was I didn't like feeling that way.

apprehensive, tremors, nausea, shortness of breath, etcetera.

my normal life has me feeling that way from time to time, but not strong enough to really feel it. I might notice the shakes and leave it at that.

well last Monday it was literally strong enough that I was unable to function when I was in DBT group, and Diagnostics group. I had to ask the therapist leading the DBT group what was I feeling. I had to be told that I was having an extreme anxiety attack. since then I have noticed it happening more often. probably because now I know what it is I may be able to recognize it more.

I have trouble coping with my emotions. It hurts so much just to feel them sometimes. I try to escape by unhealthy ways but it only makes it worse. I wish I had the answer on how to cope with your emotions.

grandmarkris48, I also practice escapism. only I use books, movies, writing, and fantasizing daydreams to do so.

I also feel like crying but i cant

I am new to psychcentra.com and I came across it by pure accident. I was on Google searching for a personality test to see what job I would be best at. I found this site and signed up immediately.
I have emotional problems. I am grateful for this thread because I really want to learn coping skills for these emotions.

Thanks sooo much for making this , recently i have been having a lot of anger problems, of course it always has been quite a problem for me- however- now it just seems to be getting worse the older i get :/ it is terrible to deal with, sense anger is such a strong and consuming emotion. again i thank you for this. ~ MissLabarinth

There are many types of monsters that scare me: Monsters who cause trouble without showing themselves, monsters who abduct children, monsters who devour dreams, monsters who suck blood... and then, monsters who tell nothing but lies. Lying monsters are a real nuisance: They are much more cunning than others. They pose as humans even though they have no understanding of the human heart; they eat even though they've never experienced hunger; they study even though they have no interest in academics; they seek friendship even though they do not know how to love. If I were to encounter such monsters, I would likely be eaten by them... because in truth, I am that monster.
-L (Death Note, Tsugumi Obha)

Whenever I try to express emotion I just end up with an empty feeling or I am overwhelmed by what I feel and get sucked into the cycle of self harm to regain control of myself

Hi thank you for the welcome
I felt the need to write to this forum because I have suffering from billing at work. I have 5 years in my current job the first two and a half were extraordinary. But the last years there I have been working with a new supervisor. This person was reported to skip the company policies, when she knew this she took against me. Her manager is her friend so both have made my life impossible affecting my family as well, my health ( I developed insomnia and I have a contracture in my back that last 1 year) I'm frustrated, angry and sad at the same time
I reported this after one year of abuses. They are checking my case. This fight is going to be hard. My supervisor and her supervisor ( at the end my supervisor as well ) are very close, they are professional liars and I don't know how my case is going to close or what are going to be the conclusions. I swear and I have my conscious clean, I'm said the true. But know I'm alone because the rest of the team have been rewarded with lot of money, so there are silence now. My only hope is to have faith that my case is going to well reviewed and the is going to come up
In the mean time I have my family tired, but supportive. I'm burn out and exhausted, full of hate against this people who have hurted me without I deserved. I'm sad the most part of the time, nervous, very difficult to enjoy my family and my hobbies. Tired the most part of the time. I wake up sometime at night and started to cry. Very irritable ... I didn't do anything I have worked so hard, I'm a honest person ... My life it shouldn't be like that know

Is it possible to feel 'something' and not be able to name it or identify it - as an adult and not a child? I can identify feeling anger and sadness, but not much else. How does one learn what they're feeling if they can't name it? Thank you, DocJohn, for making a place for perhaps the most essential forum for those of us on a journey toward better mental health.

I can't remember a time where I wasn't struggling with emotions. I start to stutter and can't breath when I have to say how i'm feeling. Growing up I wasn't allowed to talk about feeliings or emotions and now that i'm an adult i'm extremely confused and just recently got diagnosed with borderline personality disorder.

Obviously I cannot. That's why I came. But I like your post.

The biggest difficulty I have in my mental health and social life is my problems of handling of my emotions. They can take off like a speeding train to an unknown destination. The worst thing I guess I've done in the last 90 days is hang up on my niece because she was yelling at me. She knows that yelling and screaming at me or around me is a trigger from the past which I still react to today. She was telling me to stop smoking and I was agreeing with her and when she said my name and started rattling on, yelling, I just hung up. I wish I hadn't have done that. I have apologized both on-line and in a card but she has "unfriended" me on Facebook and doesn't take my calls or call me. That makes me really sad but I don't think I should make any more attempts until I hear from her. This is the emotional reaction that I made in haste, but not really, as it is my policy not to allow others to yell at me. I'd rather be hit than yelled at... I don't want to be hit either but in my past, if you got one you got the other as well. I get sad a lot but I keep that to myself. I don't have fits but I may be silent for days, rather than just let address what has made me sad.