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Member
Member Since Nov 2015
Location: Sc
Posts: 74
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#1
So we had an argument and he left and has been acting distant since but says everything is ok which it isn’t. I broke a glass and was getting it off the floor. Initially i did not tell him to help me. After a while he comes in the kitchen stands there telling me a better way to get the glass up. So i said well ok then you do it because I didn’t understand what he was telling me So he said since he didn’t break the glass he wasn’t gonna help me because i should have just drank out of a cup. Then he just stood and watched me sweeping the floor. So i told him not to watch since he wouldn’t help and things got out of control. Long story short he ended up asking why i never ask about his kids? He has 2 sons. I told him that never was incorrect and i asked when we first met Last year otherwise how would i know he didn’t get along with one of the boys grandmas. I admit I have not asked since then because he never talks about them and since a grandma stops him from seeing one of them i assumed he wasn’t seeing them and was only paying child support. So I stopped asking. So then he says thats why I don’t date women like you with no kids, you’re just different” may not sound bad to some of you but that cut like a knife because i am not selfish AND because my choice to have kids was taken from me. I had a hysterectomy that I didn’t want but had no choice and he knew this. Im not sure if he had to hit Below the belt to get back at me or as an excuse to leave and go be with another woman or run to one of his substances that he abuses but i really feel like crap!!! He says I like to argue snd I don’t i just don’t like his verbal assaults and meanness. Am i wrong to react when someone says something out of the way and assume ok maybe he’s drunk high or didn’t mean it? How am i to respond? If i walk away sometimes he follows me to the next room to keep the confusion going.
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Discombobulated, Have Hope, MickeyCheeky, RoxanneToto
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Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,127
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#2
Is this a long-term relationship? Boyfriend?
I would dump him ASAP. There are so many red flags here telling me he is abusive within your short description of this one incident. First of all, telling you how to pick up the broken glass was controlling of him - RED FLAG. Him criticizing you for using a glass instead of a cup was also very controlling and overly critical - RED FLAG. Then he refused to help you? Mean and another RED FLAG. Then he accuses you of not asking about his kids, when clearly there was no real reason to - another RED FLAG. Then he verbally hits you below the belt, in knowing full well of your history and why you cannot have children - most HURTFUL and another RED FLAG. Substance abuse to boot? RED FLAG. DUMP HIM. Don't put up with this crap one second longer. You deserve FAR BETTER. Hugs to you! __________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
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RoxanneToto
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Aug 2020
Location: England
Posts: 1,692
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#3
Agreed - I’d break it off with him. A decent person would have tried to help, but at the very least wouldn’t have blamed you for the glass getting broken. It was an accident, it happens! You’re not a child who should only be using cups in case you hurt yourself, either.
It sounds like he was purposely picking a fight with you and can’t even be honest with you about what he’s thinking now. Him following you to keep arguments going is also really concerning. He doesn’t respect your need to get some breathing space. |
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Have Hope
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Magnate
Member Since Sep 2019
Location: Earth
Posts: 2,856
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#4
So he is seeing other women? Are you agreeing to this? If a person says something mean when they're drunk or sober, its still mean and they shouldn't get excuses, in my opinion. I'm sorry you're hurting.
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Discombobulated
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Legendary
Member Since Jun 2016
Location: Italy
Posts: 11,817
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#5
i agree with the other wise and WONDERFUL posters that he hasn't been kind to you at all. i'd suggest to talk to him about ALL of this and see how it goes from there. Make him UnderstAnd that you're feeling hurt by his comments and if he doesn't change his behavior then definitely consider closing this relationship! SEnding many safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @Ladytmt, your Family, your FriEnds and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!
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WovenGalaxy
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2014
Location: US
Posts: 22,485
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#6
What a loser. He makes comments about you not having children but he isn’t even raising the ones he has. He isn’t the one to speak. He sounds like bad news, abusive and mean. Good riddance. I hope you don’t live together.
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