Miss him, Hate him, Happy without him. I hate this cycle!

Last week I found out my boyfriend cheated on me and this whole week I've been cycling through emotions. First devastated, then just sad, then I was happy without him, then I liked him again, then I hated him, then happy again and now, I miss him.

It's stressing me out.. scares me half the time that one of these moods will break the promise I made (I was forbidden from talking to him as on Friday he blamed their first break up on me and threatened to kill me o.O) and go look for him. He is long-distance, so in the physical sense I can't do anything, but numerous times a day I check his fb and die a little as I see him and his new gf who is my ex bestfriend flirt and such.. but I can't stop.

I feel as though he'll come back any moment and talk to me again like he always did.. yes this has happened before and inside I really hate him, I disliked a lot of things about him and we were quite dysfunctional but I loved him too anyway and no matter how much self-convincing I do it doesn't change a thing

~ to alter your fate, you must be brave and willing to try something new ~

(((littleforgetmenot)))

All the things you are feeling are understandable (believe me! I am older and been through it a few times now and it still happens! is happening now to me).

FB - evil? or a good thing?
All I can suggest is that you delete him from your friends so that you can't check on his wall. (yep i did it - it hurt but it has worked to some degree). If later down the track you miss him and perhaps can consider something akin to friendship then you can always request him again.

Focus on something else to get your mind off the emotions.. sit quietly and take deep breathe through your nose.. slow, deep breaths.. count the breaths up to 5 in you head and then start the cycle over again (This is something my Yoga class does to relax and clear the mind). It gives you something too focus on rather than the swinging emotions and pain.

You are young, sweet and have a broken heart. It will get better..it does get better.. It just takes time sweetness xxx

Thanks, he has been deleted but his profile isn't set to private or anything so I can still view it. I should probably block him but even on msn I get that feeling that I wanna leave the option open for if, or when, he wants to be friends with me again.

I figured out a good distraction. This guy that likes me in real life, who I have also known since I was 8, likes to drag me around outside. Today as we all know I was kinda feel miserable about it but I went out for three hours and I feel better. It kinda helps me remember that real life is better than online.. plus it helps that we get along really well.

I know I'll get miserable again tomorrow or in a few days which scares me a little though.. and I know that once I'm perfectly fine, my ex will pop up again wanting forgiveness as it's happened 3 times before. I just don't think I'd have the strength to push him away when that happens..

I hate rollercoasting emotions

~ to alter your fate, you must be brave and willing to try something new ~

((LittleForgetMeNot))

I know that it takes a lot of self-control to give your ex some space. Some determination, and resiliance.

You are young ~ which makes it more challenging. But you DO have some control over your behavior. Personally, I'm very rigid (which can be an advantage in situations like these). I recommend using a rigid state of mind to get you through and out of this pattern you've fallen into.

Your ex is a jerk. He's abusive. That is not going to change, no matter how long you are apart. You, therefore, really need to focus on being alone & finding something positive to look more closely into.

IT's a HUGE challenge, I know. But, moving onto another man in your life, rather than the ex bf, isn't healthy either. It's more likely that the new man shares some of the characteristics that your ex carries, which frequently leads to another abusive relationship. It is not worth the gamble.

You are a good human being. You deserve love. You deserve respect. You deserve care. Not just some of the time. All of the time! You need to find that beautiful, innocent little girl inside of yourself, and take care of her. Joining a support group may help you re-build your emotional strength. Seeing a T, to discuss the cycle, and find other ways is another big recommendation. I wish you the best!

Gentle hugs to you