Rejection

A breakthrough? I don't know, isn't everyone afraid of rejection? For me, it must be tenfold, because it was what he called the final straw to my stress level--the one that caused me to want to just give up. It's funny that I admit that now. So lately, trust seems to be my Achilles heel. I don't want to get close to anyone; I'm honestly afraid. Every single time I allow myself to get close to someone (whether it's a guy or girl friend), the very minute I perceive them to be my "best" (say or even think the word), I get screwed over.

"Sure I care about you; that is why we can't talk anymore. You need time to heal physically and emotionally."

"I want to help, but I can't give you the time and devotion you need."

"I'll say one thing, but I'll mean another; and when you aren't around, I'll laugh at you (not with you) behind your back."

"I wouldn't trust me with your secrets; I'm only going to repeat them."

"I am not giving up on the friendship. I am giving you the space you need; true friends will be there in the end."

IT'S ALL BS. And it's my fault. Because I believe that all of my friendships/relationships will end badly, my prophecy will be self-fulfilling. Are you serious? And I cry harder.

And the therapist wants to know how that makes me feel? I feel HURT. How else should I feel? I feel HURT.

Hiya!

Recognizing the fact that you're hurt is a good step-and you were also able to identify yhat you have trust issues;

Rejection sucks, mmmkay lol; fer real though. I do have a suspicion that it is a familiar your feeling to you-a feeling that originated in some form by your parents;

Sounds like you're spinning in a recreation here if you're finding yourself in the same patterns with people. I'd want to dig into what conflict looked like with your parents in order to get an idea of conflict resolution now-additionally where those trust issues come from as well.

Sometimes you gotta cut people outta your life in order to gain stable ground, but unless you've worked through the reasons why you hung around them in the first place, you make not be able to recognize people that will treat you better, let alone be able to treat them with good conflict resolution techniques too. It's under the principle...winnicott, I think-that made a statement that said something like if your parents never taught you good coping skills-then how will you know them-and how can you know or be aware of exactly what it is you don'y know?

I wish you the best yo, hugs! Idk if any of this made sense :/
Take care,
-obj