[yellowted]

my PA/carer left today after being with me for 20 hours a week for over a year, we got on really well, i have not found a replacement, live alone in an unadapted house and can only mobilise on wheels! feeling really alone and vulnerable, am scared what the future holds for me and how i will cope with it.

[madisgram]

can't the agency that provided care replace her? R U disabled?

[yellowted]

i did not get her from an agency, agencies around me are not good, they treat you like an object not a person who has thoughts, feelings or is able to make choices!
I am very disabled, i have had dissociative motor disorder for three years which causes poor core stability so need to be harnessed into a wheelchair or my mobility scooter, my hands do not co-ordinate so i drop lots of things, can't do socks or clothes fastenings or prepare veg to cook or keep the house tidy/clean, am incontinent so wear adult nappies, these often leak during the night and i am unable to change my bed, my arms and back spasm for over an hour every morning and whenever i get tired rendering me unable to move myself or speak. on top of that i a have hyperhydrosis which means i sweat buckets and have to bathe every day at least, asthma, quite badly, kind of controlled with 3 different puffers including an opium based on, hay feaver and multiple allergies! oh and arthritis too! i guess a body has a limited amount of movement in it, when its used up you are stuffed like me! my body is stuffed but my brain is still going strong!
I have a couple of PA's to call who may help me out, just am too scared to call them as i am not good at asking for help from strangers and even worse at handling rejection!