I really annoyed- what at, growing up with a psychotic mother - turning into her and being annoyed with her and her family. She knows what she's doing (still mad) and I should move out but have my own fears. But what annoys me is that she seems to care for everyone else except the people who actually fetch and carry for her. I feel that I shouldnt have bothered being kind and compassionate to her, and others - people I dont even know and shown forgiveness again and again - not even pretending to do it for a religion. Its the same with everything, I have taken so many personal risks just so people can have the truth versus their fears and conditioned delusions - despite my madness. I dont know why I bother. I am so upset that I am actually going to pray that God changes me into whatever - i am that annoyed.
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