[beauflow]

So; I am always shocked when people say to me-- "you have a lot of anger in you"

I do to be honest, with some that say that I get mad at them for noticing it for some reason- with others like my Therapist the other day, I was actually glad she saw that, it was like she had been paying attention a little, she said so many things that I am- Anger with myself, projection of anger, not sure who I am and not being comfortable with myself. Hard things to take, I am glad T said it rather than a Pdoc that I will only see like 2 times.

My thing is-- Anger right now- T told me, I need to find the grey with anger instead of going to rage, or to completely not care, or to not care and stew about it long after.... (bottle it up basically).

T asked me in session-- how can you do that for yourself?-- I really don't know how.

She even mentioned with out me saying much that -- Anger is not something bad, it is a warning sign that something is not right.

I think that is important to note--- I see anger a lot of times as "Bad" even if I don't mean to-- I realize logically that anger is an emotion, it is as T said an warning sign... But I can't help but to keep hold that it is bad.

I know why it is bad to me, it is something that stems from child hood- I did not process anger as some others did; and I am still struggling with it

I have a thing with being angry and turning in inward which some times leads to depression or really bad sui. thoughts

I was just wondering-- any one out there with some suggestions?

I know some say "releasing angry" but exercising more, kick boxing, or punching pillows... The thing is-- punching things I see as not being constructive- i see it as being violent or the starting of being violent-- if I punch a pillow this time, what might stop me to punch the person the next time?

I know some things I need to put to rest from my past- as in they were not appropriate ways to show anger-- and thus not to do them, but it is hard to get that out of my head that -- that is what anger is-- some days.

[lynn P.]

((beauflow)) - I'm sorry you're struggling with anger. Anger has many facets and it would be helpful if you could share what's the root of the anger and whether you think this bleeds into situations IRL that make you angry. For example if the person who's serving us coffee isn't pleasant....we can think ....is this personal to us or is she maybe having a rotten day and its bleeding out to you? It doesn't mean its right of course but at least you won't have to take it personal and feel awful.

It also helps if you can think ...can I do anything to change what's making me angry? If not then you can do some calming techniques like slow deep breathing. Your therapist is right ...this is a symptom of a root problem. Anger sometimes comes from fear or frustration. If its a situation you feel some control over - take some deep breaths and think about your response. If its rooted in your past then you and your therapist can work through whether you can resolve this. Best of luck.

[beauflow]

Lynn P I wish I did I know exactly where the root factor is-- unless I am angry about several things- IDK.... it will be more to think on i suppose.

[crimsonhaze]

I have a lot of anger issues as well. I try these things out when I need to release some of the pent up anger in me. http://socyberty.com/relationships/t...rolling-anger/

[JLarissaDragon]

Anger is a complicated issue. In itself it is not good or bad, it just is -- a signal that something is wrong or out of place. How we express anger is another story all together. I suspect that when people tell you that you have a lot of anger, it is probably more the way you are expressing anger. A lot of things go wrong that make me angry -- in my case I turn it inwards an d then I get really depressed. We have to choose how we express our anger and is it worth it. Whether you turn it inward or express it with a loud outburst, neither one is healthy and hence there must be a better way. If you are prone to outbursts, it gets threatening and scary for a lot of people. If you do the opposite (my style) you come over as brooding and aloof

I think that finding root causes will help. I am still discovering many of mine and what triggers an angry response. I wish you well in your journey it is full of pitfalls, but the rewards are worth it