Some information about Coping with Emotions

i have posted some of this here before, but as the list of skills gets longer, i like to refresh it. i hope some of these things are helpful to people who need them.

learning to tolerate irritating stimuli was a long and difficult process for me. what astonished me the most was, when i finally broke and stopped reacting, the irritant (for me, a barking dog) went away. the universe is a strange place... here are some skills for self-soothing that i hope will help you stay sane (?)..

when emotions become overwhelming, some self-soothing skills~
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when emotions become overwhelming, having the skills to manage them is crucial. even tho the following were developed for anxiety and panic, i have found them to be equally useful for other emotions.

Self Comforting Skills

we are social creatures, but getting what we need when we need it from another is not always available. here are some of the suggestions from the DBT handbook on Self Soothing Skills:

think of soothing each of your FIVE SENSES

1) Vision: Notice what you see, find soothing things to look at.
(i go to a blog that has lovely pictures: C PTSD - A Way Out | A place to check in daily)

2) Hearing: Pay attention to what you can hear around you.
(put on your favorite music...)

3) Smell: Be aware of the memories that smell can bring.
(i like to do aroma therapy. there are many Essential Oils for that.)

4) Taste: Carefully savor flavors that the day brings you.
(keep a favorite hard candy on hand, for the little sugar boost, too.)

5) Touch: Find comfort in touch.
(keep a special pillow or blanket with a favorite perfume on it.)

Self-Sooth

these are not listed, but i find them handy, too:

A) Reassurance: Tell yourself that you are OK, safe and unharmed.
(the danger is past, you have survived this before and now
you are stronger and more skillful than then.)

B) Take Action: Go for a walk, or exercise or clean house or cook. (use your
body's natural focusing powers to leave the emotion behind.)

C) Refocus: Think about pleasant things. Push the hurtful thoughts away.
(have a hobby or a story, or a book that you like, to take your
mind to a better place.)

Coping With Strong Emotions:

1. Remember, strong feelings are just exaggerations of normal bodily stress reactions.

2. Sensations are neither harmful nor dangerous - just unpleasant. Nothing worse will happen.

3. Emotions are temporary. Instead of fighting, relax into it. Just let it be.

4. Focus on facing the feeling rather than trying to avoid it or escape from it.

5. Stop adding to the panic with frightening thoughts of where panic will lead.

6. Stay in the present. Be aware of what is happening to you rather than concern yourself with how much worse it might get.

7. Notice that when you stop adding to panic with frightening thoughts, the fear begins to fade.

8. Wait and give the feeling time to pass.

9. Look around you. Plan what you will do next as the emotion subsides.

10. When you are ready to go on, do so in an easy, relaxed manner. There is no hurry.

11. Think about the progress made so far despite all the difficulties.

Some Specific Actions:

1. Manage your breathing, if it is rapid, breathe into a paper sack to lower oxygen uptake;

2. Count your breaths, 1001, 1002, 1003, ect, up to 1020, then start again, slow down the count to slow your heartbeat. counting interferes with emotional feelings;

3. Delay doing anything about your anxiety or emotion, just follow the steps and focus on getting thru it;

4. Distract yourself, with anything that requires you to focus and is simple and handy - at home you might read something easy, like a magazine, or knit or wash dishes, whatever engages your attention;

5. Eat something to replenish the blood sugars that adrenalin has burned up, and give yourself at least 15 minutes for the kidneys to clean out the 'ashes' in your blood;

6. Write these things down and keep them with you, until you have made them a habit

practice these skills before you need them, or when you are just mildly upset, so they will be familiar when you are feeling very upset. i hope you find this information helpful~

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this is another lovely list, originally posted by 'Can't Stop Crying', which puts anxiety skills in terms of "grounding techniques". perhaps some people can use these ideas in these words better~ thanks, CSC ~!

1. Bring up today’s newspaper on the web, notice the date. Read something fun!

2. Breathe slowly and steadily from your core. Imagine letting fear and worry go, evaporating along with each breath.

3. Trace your hands against the physical outline of your body. Experience your own presence in the world.

4. Call a friend and have a chat.

5. If you are feeling ‘stuck’, change how you’re positioned. Wiggle your fingers, tap your feet. Pay attention to the movement: You are in control of what your body is doing, right here and now.

6. Eat or drink something. Is it hot, or cold? Sweet or sour?

7. Meditate, if that’s OK for you. Otherwise use distractions like television or music to help settle down.

8. Use your voice. Say your name or pick up a book and read the first paragraph you find out loud.

9. Look at yourself in the mirror. Smile, even if that’s the last thing you feel like! How does that feel? What can you see? (If negative thoughts come to mind, write them down to look at later but let them go for now. You’re anxious enough as it is.)

10. Write out what’s going on. Keep writing until you start to notice it makes a difference, lets some of the things you’re anxious about out.

11. Take a shower/bath. Notice the sensations of the water.

12. Write somebody you care about an email.

13. Imagine yourself in a familiar, comfortable place. Feel the safety. Know it.

14. Take a look outside. Count the number of trees and street signs.

15. Exercise. Jump up and down on the spot. Try some gentle yoga, or ride a bike.

16. Hold onto something comforting. Maybe a blanket or an old stuffed toy.

17. Laugh. Even if that’s hard. Just the act of laughing about something, anything can break that spinning out of control feeling.

18. When you’re not too stressed, make a list of the things that provoke your anxiety. Take it to your therapist and ask them to help you find ways to desensitize you to some of those things. Then those triggers won’t be quite so powerful, and your anxiety coping skills will work better.

19. If you get PTSD flashbacks, when you’re feeling OK, make a list of the furniture in your home and what room it’s in. Give the list to a friend you can call to help you focus on what’s now and safe.

20. List 5 really positive things in your life. Put the list where you’ll see it and remember that there’s more to the world than just panic and fear.

21. Think about the last week. Was there a day you didn't have so much anxiety? Remember how it felt to be less anxious than you are right now. What was different? What can change?

getting, practicing, and having the skills to cope with distress is one way to not only feel better, but to also chase away those thoughts and feelings.

best wishes,
Gus

It seems, in few words, that the key is to delay in some way the moment in which we act in relation to the conflict that caused the emotion so your rational part drives you instead of the emotional part.
I guess the aim is sometimes not only delay the moment but avoid to take any action.

For what I have read in this same thread, I particularly liked a technique which consists on doing something that can provide you the oppossite feeling you are experiencing. That is, a simple example, you are sad so you can listen or watch something funny.
The last time a was in depression, one year ago this time, not so long lol! i was very shocked when my psych, then asking me for doing a list of the things I like to do or enjoy, he put the stress on one I have chosen, comedy. He even gave me as a homework see comedy monologues that I really love.

So, guys, whatever you are living, put some humor in your day. It works.

Thank you for Posting this Anger has been a problem for me lately. you have my sincere thanks ~ MissLabarinth

There are many types of monsters that scare me: Monsters who cause trouble without showing themselves, monsters who abduct children, monsters who devour dreams, monsters who suck blood... and then, monsters who tell nothing but lies. Lying monsters are a real nuisance: They are much more cunning than others. They pose as humans even though they have no understanding of the human heart; they eat even though they've never experienced hunger; they study even though they have no interest in academics; they seek friendship even though they do not know how to love. If I were to encounter such monsters, I would likely be eaten by them... because in truth, I am that monster.
-L (Death Note, Tsugumi Obha)

Very good info. ..

I'm glad to see this on here I've always found it hard to cope and even understand my emotions, they get the best of me so often. I'm hoping these will help, thanks!

Yes I also suffer from my emotional feelings.such as loving someone.like my father was never in my life and now he wants to see me.my sistér and brother talk to him daily.but when I was a kid I wanted my father so bad.a really sad feeling.and now I just can't be a part of him cause I can't deal with the emotion of loving him.he's old now and if I love him again I'll never want to let him go cause I can not deal with that emotion.and alot of other emotions in life I just can't deal with,so I try not to put my self in situations where emotions are required.

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I made this post in another thread, but I think it may be useful here as well!

The worst thing to do: Lock yourself in your bedroom and stay isolated even when online. I did that a couple of years ago, and it wrecked me as a person. It may be charming of an idea, taking a break, but eventually, your natural instincts kick in, and you know you need environmental and social change.

Best thing to do: Go to a coffee shop (you do not have to order coffee), sit outside with your laptop, and watch the world pass by and type to anyone online. If you are sociable, talk to those around you, as strangers can make the best company sometimes. Listen to music that fits the scenery and cheers you up.

When at home: Open up your windows or at least have it where the sun lifts the atmosphere of your home. Drink something without caffeine in it (caffeine can trigger anxiety and panic attacks), get out of bed, stretch, sit up, and meditate for twenty minutes. Read or watch anything that is fiction-based. Text or call family or friends that you trust and can laugh around with for a few minutes. Again, online is also an option.

When going to bed: Take 3mg to 5mg of Melatonin a few hours before sleep, meditate again, play music again (I suggest binaural sounds to trigger such things as lucid dreaming) or play ASMR videos to distract any negative/depressive thought patterns that may pop up. Prop your pillows, fix your sheets, and spray it with some tea tree and lavender every morning and night. Also, get a fan for extra white noise.

Even as an introvert, there are ways to ease PTSD and Depression. Personally, I am in the middle (or at least all those tests think so), so I can handle some activities with others, but I also enjoy sitting outside and watching nature happen as I live in the mountains. Also, take vitamins/supplements to balance your physical body.

Thanks for this!

Thank you so much for this

Really interesting reading. I shared this with a friend as well. Thank you for sharing

Thank for the links

A belated thanks for these links

That a great idea.

The links in the first post go to psychcentral.com. Has the content been moved to MSF? I tried to replace the domain name in the link, but the page cannot be found.

I : dunno: maybe the page was removed.