I have a problem and I don't know how to stand up and say it. Here's my story:

Last night around 9pm, I was asleep and my parents texted me about my grades. (Actually they were vague but I knew what they meant. They don't talk to me during the week if I don't have a problem.) I woke up around 3am the next day to read their texts and I went through the day till I talked to them at around 4pm.

The knocked on my door and I opened up. They got all mad saying that they sent me my grades and what I was missing. (They didn't.) They keep threatening me that they'll get me fired. (I work at the same place as my dad but he's not actually my boss. He doesn't write my paychecks and he shouldn't pretend that he does. He does it anyways.) I told them to hold on a second and I grabbed my phone.

On my phone, I had the response I wrote as a text message draft on the bus before I came home. It had everything I needed to fend them off. It told them what would happen if they got me fired, what would happen if they tried, how despotic it is that they're doing this, etc. Everything I needed to end the conversation straight out. This was my golden bullet and I didn't use it. I felt myself crumbling on the inside as I held on to my reasons and didn't say anything.

I said, as usual, "What grades? Show me what you're talking about." Then, I walked with my mom to her room to see the e-mails that the school sent.

She said while walking, "I don't know why you give me all these lame excuses when I ask you about them and you know them."

I replied, "Then why do you keep asking me?!?"

"Because I care about your grades!"

(That response didn't even make sense to the conversation. The conversation was why I give lames excuses, which I don't, not if she cares about my grades. Whatever. My mom's illogical when arguing. It's why my dad stays out of things and chimes in only to verbally cut me a little.)

The e-mails were sent a week or two late, as usual, and they compiled a list that was highly exaggerated. The assignments and tests were ones that I failed or have yet to be processed into the grade book.

She told me to bring back my current grades from my teachers. I told her I'll do one better. I went on the school's website and brought up my grades. I showed her that I've been doing all my homework and the only reason why they were sent was becaus I scored poorly on them or they have yet to be processed. She shut up for a bit.

Before we were done talking, I looked down at my phone again. Everything I wanted to tell them about what they are doing wrong was right there. I had thumb right above the send button. The message was addressed to my mom.

She asked if I had anything else to say and I said that I was thinkning about it but I concluded that I didn't. She started getting louder and said, "What?!"
"No! I don't have to tell you. They're my thoughts, not yours. Leave me alone."
My dad said, "Fine. Let him go."

We walked away from each other. My mom muttered curses that I could hear but she didn't know. I cursed quietly to myself once I went back to my room and closed the door so she couldn't hear.

I loather about for a good twenty minutes thinking about how wrong it is to even threaten my job which is to support my very future. (I'm saving up money for college, moving out, living expenses, everything. If I lost my job, I would lose everything. All the hours of work and hope would be squandered just to say, "I told you so," from my parents. I don't even work during the school week. I work on Sundays and I do my homework on Fridays or Saturdays if I can't get it done when I get home that day.)

I also reflect on how weak I became. This isn't the first issue I had that I knew was wrong and didn't speak up. I have this bravado before I talk to them and then I suddenly lose it all.

They came back home at 5pm. My mom came back to my door and apologized. I said it was fine and I had my own stuff.

The problem I still have is they're still going to use this "I'm going to take away your job" crap just because of my grades. I know I'm in the right and I know they're wrong on this. I still have the message that ecplains everything. If I remain the complacent, cowardly, and sad self, I'll have to deal with their bull. If I do decide to stand up for myself, I'm afraid that I'll destroy the relationship I have with them and the whole "parent/kid" relationship will be shattered. I have a feeling it's because I'm older. Before, they had alot over me and they could take things away or ground me. Now, they're scrounging for whatever they can, no matter how low it is.

I'm not a bad kid and I don't hate my parents. I talk with my dad alot over the weekend and I put up with school. I do my homework and chores and I don't say a word about it. I pay for the data plan on my phone and anything I want, I buy with the money from MY JOB.

I need help deciding what I should do, how to keep my cool, and how I keep things where they are without ruining what is there.

I didn't know that this was happening at home...

I'm sorry for saying **** earlier...

[ariadna]

(((((((hugs))))))))
I hope things will remain calm for you, its not easy, and its your decision at the end, i used not to answer never, because i hate fights, but i understand your side, its not easy to be so threatened for that reason.... Stay strong and focused.... this will pass...

Thanks for the input. I wish I could get some advice though. I'm looking for the right words and the right way to say it.