[Morghana]

I have an issue where if something upsets me, I am immediately moved to tears. Often it's something small or just plain something that isn't worth crying over. For example, today the summer job I interviewed for didn't pan out, and when my mother commented on it, I couldn't help crying. It's silly because I don't need the job all that much or even want it all that much. I knew it was unlikely I'd get the job since I don't have any experience and there's so much competition. But somehow, knowing all that didn't help. I have dozens of other examples over the years, and most make even less sense. I cried, for example, when I couldn't get my history paper done on time and I had to ask for an extension, and when I was fined for not having the appropriate ticket on the metro. In my school career, I cried when I did poorly on tests or when my abilities in writing or playing violin were critiqued. It's something I always hoped I would grow out of, but never really have.

People often assume that I'm really crying for some bigger underlying reason, like I'm stressed out in my personal life or I have problems at home, but most of the time, that's not true. These things that seem tiny to other people really do cause me to cry. Other people, especially teachers, have thought that I was crying to be manipulative to get them to change grades or whatever, but that's never true. Crying for me is a reflex and it's entirely involuntary.

Is there any way I can control this impulse, or do I just have to accept it? Are some people just bigger criers than others?

Originally Posted by Morghana

I have an issue where if something upsets me, I am immediately moved to tears. Often it's something small or just plain something that isn't worth crying over. For example, today the summer job I interviewed for didn't pan out, and when my mother commented on it, I couldn't help crying. It's silly because I don't need the job all that much or even want it all that much. I knew it was unlikely I'd get the job since I don't have any experience and there's so much competition. But somehow, knowing all that didn't help. I have dozens of other examples over the years, and most make even less sense. I cried, for example, when I couldn't get my history paper done on time and I had to ask for an extension, and when I was fined for not having the appropriate ticket on the metro. In my school career, I cried when I did poorly on tests or when my abilities in writing or playing violin were critiqued. It's something I always hoped I would grow out of, but never really have.

People often assume that I'm really crying for some bigger underlying reason, like I'm stressed out in my personal life or I have problems at home, but most of the time, that's not true. These things that seem tiny to other people really do cause me to cry. Other people, especially teachers, have thought that I was crying to be manipulative to get them to change grades or whatever, but that's never true. Crying for me is a reflex and it's entirely involuntary.

Is there any way I can control this impulse, or do I just have to accept it? Are some people just bigger criers than others?

IMO I think some are “bigger criers” than others because I am exactly the same way. Yesterday, I was organizing a huge stack of newspapers in order of dates for an organization, and I found that I erred with the dates - I cried. It wasn’t much of an issue but simply having to take apart the stacks of newspapers and place them in order again, but I was upset about it .

When I was in a relationship in 2008 I used to cry all the time! Literally, I cried in a bookstore, in a cafe, in my house, while on vacation, essentially wherever I was with her. For me, I can even cry spontaneously, like what happened last night.

I don’t think it is a bad thing. Maybe some people are more sensitive and emotional than others? Crying isn’t the worst thing that someone can do .

[seeker1950]

Originally Posted by Mr. Venomous

IMO I think some are “bigger criers” than others because I am exactly the same way. Yesterday, I was organizing a huge stack of newspapers in order of dates for an organization, and I found that I erred with the dates - I cried. It wasn’t much of an issue but simply having to take apart the stacks of newspapers and place them in order again, but I was upset about it .

When I was in a relationship in 2008 I used to cry all the time! Literally, I cried in a bookstore, in a cafe, in my house, while on vacation, essentially wherever I was with her. For me, I can even cry spontaneously, like what happened last night.

I don’t think it is a bad thing. Maybe some people are more sensitive and emotional than others? Crying isn’t the worst thing that someone can do .

I have to tell you...I was unable to even converse with people about normal everyday things without tearing up....till I got on meds for depression. This has been over a 20+ yr period, during which I've attempted to go off the meds, and found myself doing the same thing...tearing up while talking to coworkers, etc. My medication helps this. I don't do it, and it's a godsend!

[Morghana]

Originally Posted by seeker1950

I have to tell you...I was unable to even converse with people about normal everyday things without tearing up....till I got on meds for depression. This has been over a 20+ yr period, during which I've attempted to go off the meds, and found myself doing the same thing...tearing up while talking to coworkers, etc. My medication helps this. I don't do it, and it's a godsend!

Thanks for your answer, and I'm very glad it worked out for you. I think our cases are very different, though. I'm functioning fine even with this strange tendency, and I certainly wouldn't call myself depressed. This thing with the crying really only happens when I'm chastised, when I make a mistake, when I feel really overwhelmed, and so on. I think for most people, these things would be irritating or upsetting but simply wouldn't provoke tears. I wouldn't be concerned except that it's a little embarrassing and I think it makes others uncomfortable.

[Odee]

If you think that you cry during particular scenarios, perhaps you have a sensitivity towards your own perceived faults?

I can sympathize with you to an extent! I tend to tear up a lot whenever my boyfriend and I are discussing "relationship things". He is my first boyfriend, so I acknowledge that I haven't had a lot of the emotional experiences that come along with dating before, but the crying/emotionality crops up even when I know it's not that big of a deal! The other week he told me he avoided telling me something out of fear of seeing me cry, even though not talking about it was not a solution!

I don't know how to explain to him that if I tear up, it's really not that big of a deal.

Other than that, I can agree with Seeker that during particularly depressive bouts I find it difficult not to cry at any given moment.

Other than that, I think some people might just be bigger criers than others. As long as you don't get melodramatic about it, I would not look down on a friend who cried like you do.

[lost724]

I can relate. I cry over little things and i can't help it. it doesnt matter if im at work or if im at home. people think i cry to get attention or to get them to feel bad for me but i simply cannot control the tears and i feel foolish. i guess its just my bodies way of reacting to stress and frustration. but being so emotional feels like a burden sometimes

[NinaNina]

I'm a big cryer too. I cry at things that really aren't worth crying about...but I've always been this way. I think some people really just do cry more than others. And its definitely not voluntary.

[musicsinmysoul]

I used to think it was just some people cry more than others, but I asked my doctor about it the last time I was in, and she said to a point it's normal but it begins to be abnormal when you don't know WHY you're crying. Like, if you're having a bad day and you cry that's nothing to worry about, but when you're crying over the silliest, smallest things and you just don't really have a reason to be upset, then it's not normal.

Sorry, I'm not meaning to say people aren't NORMAL, because I mean, really, what is normal?

Being easily upset and crying for no reason are things that your brain is doing because there's something not quite right upstairs. Basically, you have a chemical imbalance in your brain. Whether it's your hormones out of whack or brain chemicals, something is off, and it's usually an indicator that something is wrong.

Just thought I'd throw that out there, having gone through it personally.

[MyFathersGirl]

I can totally realate. I end up crying over small things a lot like tv shows or commercials. I cried last year when it was my birthday and I hadn't gotten any presents yet. Yes it was disappointing but a 34 year old crying because she didn't get a present is a little over the top. I cry about things like that yet when I tell somebody about physical or emotional abuse which was a lot worse a friend of mine pointed out to me that I am telling them something horrible and yet I'm smiling. It doesn't make any sense.