[FighterWannabe]

My family fought a lot and never got along. Everyone thinks they are the only ones who are right. Hateful words were always exchanged. My parents were divorced. My mom made us fear her when we were kids and our culture values obedience. I think we want to be a loving family but we just don't know how.

Several years ago, I had enough so I ran away from home with my younger brother to preserve my sanity. I had a stable employment and I was financially responsible. "Running away from home" sounds silly, but it was the only way to escape my overbearing mother. My brother later got married and I financially supported my brother and his wife, to the point where I now feel financially drained.

I have always been there for my brother and his wife when they needed my help because that's what older sisters do. Daughters are also supposed to have dinner with their mothers. But based on my past with my mother, the thought of having dinners with her by myself gives me anxiety attacks.

My brother always has a way for winning arguments and I often feel that I am being taken for granted. I only ask for my brother's emotional support but he is now refusing to make time for dinner with me and my mom. He said he doesn't understand why I am so afraid of her. I can't even call my mom back to tell her that I can't have dinner with her because my brother is busy because of her overbearing nature.

I know that I am now an adult, I have my own home, and I can financially support myself, so I have no reason to be afraid of my mom, but I really don't know how to be an emotionally stronger person in every area of this family drama.

[ColourBars]

Originally Posted by FighterWannabe

My family fought a lot and never got along. Everyone thinks they are the only ones who are right. Hateful words were always exchanged. My parents were divorced. My mom made us fear her when we were kids and our culture values obedience. I think we want to be a loving family but we just don't know how.

Several years ago, I had enough so I ran away from home with my younger brother to preserve my sanity. I had a stable employment and I was financially responsible. "Running away from home" sounds silly, but it was the only way to escape my overbearing mother. My brother later got married and I financially supported my brother and his wife, to the point where I now feel financially drained.

I have always been there for my brother and his wife when they needed my help because that's what older sisters do. Daughters are also supposed to have dinner with their mothers. But based on my past with my mother, the thought of having dinners with her by myself gives me anxiety attacks.

My brother always has a way for winning arguments and I often feel that I am being taken for granted. I only ask for my brother's emotional support but he is now refusing to make time for dinner with me and my mom. He said he doesn't understand why I am so afraid of her. I can't even call my mom back to tell her that I can't have dinner with her because my brother is busy because of her overbearing nature.

I know that I am now an adult, I have my own home, and I can financially support myself, so I have no reason to be afraid of my mom, but I really don't know how to be an emotionally stronger person in every area of this family drama.

I woulda turned to "my brother" and tell him he's a ****ing moron for not being happy of what a great sister I was (aka. you!)

Then drag his *** to the hold and tell him to have dinner with mom.

buuuuuuut. that doesn't always work as planned.

I don't know. I left home a year ago because I couldn't handle my mom's abuse anymore. I supported myself but I never had to support anyone else outside of my mom's roof. I supported my sisters when we did live together in the family though. But not to the extent you have.

If it was my sister and I having this kind of argument where she didn't want to go to dinner with mom, I would probably say, "Mom is mom, we gotta have dinner with her like any "NORMAL" family, sure we didn't have the tv-perfect families everyone thinks of, but family is family, and you HAVE to come to dinner with us. It's the right thing to do."

buuuuuuut. once again, i don't know if that's the right plan for you. O_O

[Likeabird]

I know the feeling. Almost two years ago I was disowned by the entire family.
My mother was also overbearing. I left home at the age of
16.

[allen645]

Every family fights, its no big deal. Try to compromise and let go.