I am feeling anxious and feeling that what I want to do in life doesnt matter

I am experiencing some high anxiety today. A professor in my college decided to have a class debate about a topic that he knows I am very passionate about. He knew I would express my concerns and I feel for his trap. The topic was:

When is it okay for a able-minded adult, have sex with an adult that has a intellectual disability(mentally challenged)?

I debated in with 5-7 other students where all of them had the opposite thoughts. I said, it is not okay for a person who doesn't have a mental disability to have sex with someone who does because the person who has the disability is not in the state to understand what he/she is consenting to. They have said yes, but to what degree do they really understand what is happening in their enviorment. they disability limits their understanding and choice making. Where as the adult who doesn't have the disability has the self-awareness of what is happening.

The alarming numbers of how many times a person with disability is being abused in every way in their life is too high and no one is paying attention to it.

Including my teacher and the students they said: they are both adults so it is not rape. The teacher tells me I am wrong.

It was so devasting to hear from others that I am wrong, it made me feel that my concerns are not valid and my passion to protect victims is not needed.

I going have to see this teacher again and I just dont know how comfortable i am going to be.

I would keep in mind that it is a school situation. It was a debate that I assume was for a class activity? If it had been a court trial, then I would feel differently... but because the outcome of the debate really has no effect on anyone besides the emotions of the people in the class... u know? However, I do think that your feelings had been invalidated, and that is not ok. Just know in your heart that you feel this way, and if you want to be an avid supporter of this cause in your future, then that is fantastic. But as for now, I think it would be best to try and not let it affect you too much. But its hard when ppl disagree with you about topics that mean a lot to you

Miswimmy is right -- you have to remember that while your feelings may have been invalidated, YOU have NOT been invalidated. Only your opinion has. The others disagreed with your opinion ONLY (I agree with you by the way) but they don't disagree with you as a PERSON.

Sometimes it's hard not to take some of this stuff personally. I have a tendency to do this alot too. I'm pretty think-skinned, so I have to be careful about stuff like that. I need to think about what I'm getting my nose bent about -- is it personal or not?

God bless, my friend and please take care. Gentle hugs, Lee

A Professor should NOT be making you feel so terrible for voicing your opinion in a class discussion. If anything, he should be encouraging your alternative opinion. He has a responsibility to be impartial and extend the discussion -- not smash the half he doesn't agree with!

Hi there. I just figured I'd chime in. It depends on the extent of the disability, in my opinion. I have like 3 mental disabilities as well as mental disorders, and I know what i'm consenting to as well as knowing the implications. Everyone's different, though. Someone with down syndrome shouldn't necessarily have sex with someone who doesn't. It all just depends.

I think that your emotions are perfectly valid, and I'm right there with you on how strongly you feel about this subject.

Was this class straight "Debate" or Political Science? Or was the debate under a different topic? If the class is debate or poli sci, then maybe you should have put more statistics and emotions into your side of the issue. Unfortunately, the general public isn't well-versed in different types of disabilities & how it often affects decision-making.

Your professor sure didn't sound as though he/she handled the debate very well. It was you against 5 other viewpoints?? No one else was on your side? That's a messed up way to set up a fair debate!!

Boy, Jennifer. I had a LAWYER tell me, after reading what happened to me at work, that what my employer did was "legal but not ethical". Maybe the same distinction can be made here. That's what I would tell my professor and fellow students. It definitely depends. So maybe they won't get thrown in jail, but would they like to be on the receiving end? That's the key.