[melstar]

I am not sure what has been happening over the past two years or so that has made me so afraid to leave my house. Fear and panic set in when I am walking, especially after dark, to anywhere I have to go. During the day time the panic and fear doesn't set in quite as quickly as it does after dark, but it is still there. It makes it very difficult for me to go anywhere I need to go, because I am so hypervigilant about my surroundings. The bad thing is that this same panic and fear set in while I am driving also. Everytime I get behind the wheel of my vehicle that panic and fear sets in. I don't know what has caused it though. I have never been in an accident or had anything happen to me while walking, it is just the fear that it could happen that debilitates me.
The good thing is that I am a much safer driver (not that I wasn't before) now, I even follow the speed limits. But I am afraid that eventually this fear and panic is going to prevent me from leaving the safety of my house pretty soon.
I am going to speak to my new t about this on Thursday to see what she says (It will be the first time meeting her).
If anyone has any advice to give about this it would be much appreciated. I am stuck and don't know what to do.

[Miswimmy1]

I would post this in the anxiety forum. Sometimes, we hav anxiety for no apparent reason. I think its a good thing that you are going to talk to t about it, and I hope that she can give you a few ways to cope.

[arachnophobia.kid]

This kind of reminds me of myself. What I do when this happens to me is I ask myself 'what am I afraid of?'

It doesn't always help but I find that often I am making myself believe there is danger when there really is no danger at all. If I can convince myself that it's all in my imagination then it really helps me calm down. I had to make it a habit to face my fears and then actively notice when I came out alive. The more I did the things I was afraid of and the more that nothing went wrong I eventually was able to trust myself and I was not as afraid anymore. Although I still struggle with the same fears they are much more manageable now.

For some reason your brain automatically perceives danger, try your best to challenge your brain and yourself. Start asking yourself regularly, 'what dangers am I expecting?' 'where could danger come from?' 'is my fear realistic or imaginary?' and so on...

All the best to you in your struggle

- A

[Thunder Bow]

Risk taking is a part of life. Take intellegent risks. Take the risk of Letting go of the attatchments, and go through the door into the sun of everyday life. Keep up the good defensive driving!

[OrangeMoira]

I have similar episodes, but my fear happens for different reasons. I know how painful those anxious feelings can be. It must be especially nerve wracking to drive up north during the winter! Sorry you're having such a hard time.

I think you are doing the best thing for yourself by continuing to walk and drive despite the scary feelings.

When you start to avoid doing things because of the fear, the relief feels great for a few moments. But then the next time you want to do something, you are more likely to avoid it. Avoiding gives the fear more power; it makes it hard to see that you can choose to keep going despite the fear and panic sensations in your body.

When you're in those intense moments, you can take deep, slow breaths to keep yourself from hyperventilating while your adrenaline is running high. This will keep any tense or dizzy feelings from getting worse.

I try to keep a running conversation where I talk back to my fears. I tell myself, "Okay, so I'm scared. And I'm still going to turn the key in the ignition because I want to buy groceries." It's a way of helping me understand that fear is just one part of what's happening in my brain; I also have goals to reach and ways of coping with the feelings. Otherwise, for me the fear just starts running things!

It's great that you're getting help before you really feel stuck in your house. I hope your appointment goes well on Thursday! Keep posting, and do visit the Anxiety forum--lots of people with similar issues there.

[LadyShadow]

Its hard when you fear the unknown. Driving around right after the hurricane hit last week was terribly anxious for me. Trees down, cars driving all over, very scary, but I overcame it. I like the idea of just going outside and letting the sunshine hit you. The world is not as scary as we make it in our minds. One step at a time, thats how it goes. Good luck to you and remember to post in the anxiety forums, that will help too, like someone else said.

I think sometimes we don't know why debilitating anxiety becomes a problem. I hope your new therapist can help.
The only advice I can give is to try as hard as you can not to give in and become homebound. The more you give up the harder it is to get it back. And giving in and avoiding becomes kind of an ingrained pattern.
It's hard sometimes to know where the fine line is between giving in too easily and pushing yourself too hard in that it becomes detrimental and causes a setback.
Oh one more thing... good friends, really good frinds, can make a world of difference.
Good luck.

Originally Posted by melstar

I am not sure what has been happening over the past two years or so that has made me so afraid to leave my house. Fear and panic set in when I am walking, especially after dark, to anywhere I have to go. During the day time the panic and fear doesn't set in quite as quickly as it does after dark, but it is still there. It makes it very difficult for me to go anywhere I need to go, because I am so hypervigilant about my surroundings. The bad thing is that this same panic and fear set in while I am driving also. Everytime I get behind the wheel of my vehicle that panic and fear sets in. I don't know what has caused it though. I have never been in an accident or had anything happen to me while walking, it is just the fear that it could happen that debilitates me.
The good thing is that I am a much safer driver (not that I wasn't before) now, I even follow the speed limits. But I am afraid that eventually this fear and panic is going to prevent me from leaving the safety of my house pretty soon.
I am going to speak to my new t about this on Thursday to see what she says (It will be the first time meeting her).
If anyone has any advice to give about this it would be much appreciated. I am stuck and don't know what to do.

[melstar]

Thank you all for the wonderful feedback. I will give it a try. I do have a running conversation with myself to make myself do things I am afraid of. But it doesn't seem to help easy the fear. But you are right as long as I don't give in and stay totally homebound I am giving the fear less power.

I went to the therapist today and did my initial appt for IOP (Individualized Outpatient Programming). And needless to say I don't qualify for IOP. Instead I qualify for Day Treatment. The therapist said that she would turn cartwheels to get me the treatment that I need and as soon as possible. She said that I need to see a psychiatrist as soon as possible and get stablized as soon as possible. So once I am approved through my insurance I will be attending day treatment from 8-3:45 everyday for at least a week if not two. Why do I suddenly feel even more depressed about my situation. I even went and burned myself for the first time in nearly two months. It feels like my world is caving in on me, and I have no hope for survival.

[OrangeMoira]

Melstar, I'm sorry you felt so down after the appointment. Yay for you for keeping your appointment! Glad your therapist has a plan in place. Are you starting your day treatment this week, or will it take time to get the insurance set up?

I think it makes sense to have hopeless feelings come up after meeting with a therapist the first time. Before getting help, part of your brain can stay in denial about your issues; once some of your worries are validated by an expert, you have to really face those issues. Scary stuff!

You have help to face those issues now, though. You're not facing this alone. I hope you let your treatment team know how you reacted to that first visit. This can get better. Hugs to you!