[Big Mama]

Is there a difference in feeling lonely and feeling alone that is the million dollar question. I don't know the answer to that one but every time I feel lonely I think of that question my first T once asked.

At this moment I just feel lonely. I've felt this way for a few days now. Usually it passes rather quickly. Not this time. I just feel hurt, alone, afraid of the future. I want a friend, I want someone to understand, I want someone to hold me and just be my rock. But I don't want to be touched and I want to be left alone. You can't have both now can you.

I have revealed tough info to my T this week. I have anxiety about the next up coming appointment. There are many routes she could take. Some time I feel so screwed up. There could be any number of things she could discuss all which I dread, I think. I have been on a manic high at the beginning of the week. What I revealed was scary to me but the relief I felt afterwards was great. Now I guess the other side of mania has reared it's ugly head.

I just feel alone, tired, lonely, a need to connect, I don't know what I need or what I feel anymore. I have PTSD, depression, and am doing trauma work. All these things are just adding to the extra stress of things. If anyone has any suggestions or can let me know that I am at least heard and understood or am heard and so f****d up thats acceptable to.

I have felt very alone. I have also felt very lonely at times ((((Mama)))). I think feeling alone is when you feel as if there is no one. We feel as if we have no one to turn to for support, comfort, hugs, connection. We feel worthless and undeserving of companionship and true connection.
O
Loneliness comes when when we feel isolated and empty. We could be surrounded with a room full of people yet feel incredibly lonely. We feel cut off and not a part of things around us.

Also, i think alone can also be a choice that is pleasant. "Me" time. Whereas, feeling lonely is a signal to learn to love and appreciate ourselves and all the beauty we have to offer. And then taking the risk and reaching out for love and companionship.

I personallly love my "me" time. Alone time. I watch a movie, read, take a drive or a walk, spend time with the horses that I love.

I hope this helps a little ((((Mama)))) you are not alone here. We love and care about you.

R

[Vona9]

((Big Mama)) I'm sorry you are feeling this way. I know what being lonely feels like and it often makes it exceptionally hard to cope with life. If you want to talk I'm here.

i've always thought of them as 1 joint emotion (but that's just me)

you could be in a group of people say, and still feel alone (which to me, is the same as feeling lonely)

[Big Mama]

I feel alone and lonely at the same time. Is that possible? I just came home from a kids basketball game and tried to talk to several parents. They look at me as if I am nothing, Don't listen (maybe they didn't hear me), interrupt me. Not helping the lonely factor.

Thats why I love my animals. My horse is happy to see me. He weenies every time he sees me. He loves me weather I am giving him food or no. My cat always waits for my love. Why can't people be like that.

Thank you all for your response. It is comforting to know someone cares. Someone saw I posted and cared enough to take time out of there day to respond. I am at least worth a few min of of one's time. THANK YALL AGAIN.

[ECHOES]

I feel lonely when I wish I had someone to do things with.

I feel alone when I feel like I have no one close to be with, no one who really understands me and cares for me.

[Big Mama]

Echo's been there. I don't have anyone to do things w/. My H won't babysit the kids so I can get out. Even if he did and I did have a friend I don't have any money to do anything w/. I don't work, I stay at home w/ the kids. We live in the middle of no where. The closest town is 20 miles away. No job, no money, no gas, no friends. Yep I'm lonely. Mentally and physically alone a lot to. (minus the kids)

Thank You for responding. I don't know what I would do with out my friends and acquaintances here.

(((Big Mama))) ...

I think we can be alone without feeling lonely, but it's rather difficult to be lonely without feeling alone.

It also sounds as if you're right isolated out there, so I'm glad you at least have the warmth and love of your animals to help ease some of the pain.

And it's a down right shame the way those parents treated you at the basketball game ... No excuse for folks to be that rude.

,
Pfrog!

[Big Mama]

Thank you pfrog. You are right. That was just rude. I am respectful and quiet, not outspoken and loud. I like me for being that way. I don't like out spoken annoying people. The more you put yourself in the spot light the more you are seen and the more you can be seen for others to point out your flaws. I have enough of those w/ out showing them off for everyone to see.

Thank you for responding. I actually feel like the world might care. Thank you pfrog and everyone.

[ECHOES]

Originally Posted by Big Mama

Echo's been there. I don't have anyone to do things w/. My H won't babysit the kids so I can get out. Even if he did and I did have a friend I don't have any money to do anything w/. I don't work, I stay at home w/ the kids. We live in the middle of no where. The closest town is 20 miles away. No job, no money, no gas, no friends. Yep I'm lonely. Mentally and physically alone a lot to. (minus the kids)

Thank You for responding. I don't know what I would do with out my friends and acquaintances here.

Welllll, husbands don't babysit, they parent.

Do you know other moms who you might invite in once in a while? Is there a craft class or some other fun class you might be able to save up for?
Maybe you could come up with a plan for what you might like to do.

[Suchende]

I think that "being alone" is more related with a physical fact of not having anyone, and it happens to experience that feeling. Feeling lonely has more to do with the feeling of have always been and destined to always being alone. Feeling we're closed in a kind of box nobody can reach, nobody may even be able to see.

Thing is that, despite you can feel lonely and may do it most of the time, you are never really alone (and this is supposed to be an encouraging note <3 )

[Christa87413]

Originally Posted by Big Mama

Is there a difference in feeling lonely and feeling alone that is the million dollar question. I don't know the answer to that one but every time I feel lonely I think of that question my first T once asked.

At this moment I just feel lonely. I've felt this way for a few days now. Usually it passes rather quickly. Not this time. I just feel hurt, alone, afraid of the future. I want a friend, I want someone to understand, I want someone to hold me and just be my rock. But I don't want to be touched and I want to be left alone. You can't have both now can you.

I have revealed tough info to my T this week. I have anxiety about the next up coming appointment. There are many routes she could take. Some time I feel so screwed up. There could be any number of things she could discuss all which I dread, I think. I have been on a manic high at the beginning of the week. What I revealed was scary to me but the relief I felt afterwards was great. Now I guess the other side of mania has reared it's ugly head.

I just feel alone, tired, lonely, a need to connect, I don't know what I need or what I feel anymore. I have PTSD, depression, and am doing trauma work. All these things are just adding to the extra stress of things. If anyone has any suggestions or can let me know that I am at least heard and understood or am heard and so f****d up thats acceptable to.

I understand how you feel, I get that way ALOT! I can't seem to figure out the difference, I feel so alone, unwanted, and at the same time, I don't want anyone else in on it... I wanna hang out with my friends, but I don't want to spend time with them. I want someone to love me, but I am also afraid to let someone love me because I know the problems I cause.

[Big Mama]

Christa that definition is so me. I know we can't have it both ways. Why can't we just have our cake and eat it to. Thank you for responding.

Echo's I wish things were that simple. I home school my 9th grader and have a 5 yr old at home to. I am reminded all to often "You do not have the money to be out running around". I really can't afford to even drive my car. Some times I skip church in order to make ends meet. I just don't have the money to stretch. Everything is 20 miles one way and 20 miles back. So it adds up to $6.00 in gas everytime I leave the house. Then I have to take the kids and you know how they are. You gotta feed um. Thanks for the suggestion though. If one of the close to home churches do something interesting or even boring at this point I certinly have plans to join them.

Suchende thank you for your input as well.

It is nice to have people care. Thank you all.

[~Christina]

((((( Big Mama )))))

I can relate to everything you are saying right down to the 20 miles to town.. Yes I live in the middle of nowhere too !

Hell I really have no grand advice to offer .. Feeling alone while being surrounded by people is a pretty common feeling, sad but true. I'm sure your pushing into tough stuff in Therapy is probably a factor... I am looking down the barrel of hard therapy stuff myself... I remind myself to just stomp into and stomp until I feel ok about whatever I am struggling with....

It is a shame life can be so hard at times.. Somedays it feels like life slaps the hell out of you. On days like that ... I just remind myself to keep moving.

Enjoy your horse, When stressing I use to go out and just brush mine down.. instant calming effect.... I miss mine.

Hang in there and things will improve somehow, someway

[Big Mama]

Morethingswrong being in the middle of no where has it's advantages but it has it's disadvantages to. Better not use up that last piece of toilet paper on a Saturday night. It's 20 miles to town and the convince stores near by are conviently closed on Sundays. Noting like napkins in place of toilet paper to save money until you can get to town. Ouch.

I love my horse and if my big baby can help make things better by giving me a sweet look and listening that is just what he'll do happily. My last horse took 25 years of secrets to the grave w/ him. This new little guy will have some secrets to take w/ him to some day. I love my animals espicially the horses.

[Puffyprue]

Alone is an emotion if you believe there is no one, no one to turn to for communication or no one understand your point a view,loneliness is more than just the feeling
Loneliness is a feeling of being cut off, disconnected and alienated from other people and a desire of wanting company or wanting to do something with another person
for me loneliness is not the same as being alone some people choose to be alone by choice and it could be pleasurable while loneliness is unwilling solitude and its hell

[RomanSunburn]

For me... the way I think of loneliness and being alone... I have never felt lonely with my husband, but I have felt alone, even when he's holding me. For me, feeling alone is like being trapped with my thoughts without an escape. Loneliness is a longing for companionship. But I have been alone, but not felt alone or lonely... If that makes sense... Thats what I consider "me" time.

Big Mama, I'm glad you have your animals. I know I would be lost without my cat. He's the reason I stay around... I could desert him, even if my husband would take care of him. He's a momma's boy through and through.

[Big Mama]

Silent - loneliness is hell, so true, unwanted solitude. Maybe it is an unwanted solitude of your own making that you can't seem to change but you want to.

Romansunburn- If I didn't have my animals I'd have no friends. My H is not an animal lover. I went on a weekend trip and left my H directions on how to feed the animals, but having dyslexia I told him to feed the cat sweet feed, and the horse cat food. He's must be the dumbest person on earth because he did just as I said. He never stopped to think cats eat cat food and horses eat sweet feed. Though the cat caught mice and the horse eats everything, so he ate the cat food.

[roads]

an excellent thread
helping us all to think about it & talk
thanks
Roadie

[axinite]

Originally Posted by Big Mama

Is there a difference in feeling lonely and feeling alone that is the million dollar question. I don't know the answer to that one but every time I feel lonely I think of that question my first T once asked.

At this moment I just feel lonely. I've felt this way for a few days now. Usually it passes rather quickly. Not this time. I just feel hurt, alone, afraid of the future. I want a friend, I want someone to understand, I want someone to hold me and just be my rock. But I don't want to be touched and I want to be left alone. You can't have both now can you.

I have revealed tough info to my T this week. I have anxiety about the next up coming appointment. There are many routes she could take. Some time I feel so screwed up. There could be any number of things she could discuss all which I dread, I think. I have been on a manic high at the beginning of the week. What I revealed was scary to me but the relief I felt afterwards was great. Now I guess the other side of mania has reared it's ugly head.

I just feel alone, tired, lonely, a need to connect, I don't know what I need or what I feel anymore. I have PTSD, depression, and am doing trauma work. All these things are just adding to the extra stress of things. If anyone has any suggestions or can let me know that I am at least heard and understood or am heard and so f****d up thats acceptable to.

In my opinion there is a tremendous difference. When I feel lonely I am in touch with my emotions and feelings, I feel the desire to connect with someone. When I feel alone, I am disengaged with myself as well as others. Feelings like love, hate, anger, joy, etc do not exist when I feel alone. I am inconsolable and frigid. But I am assuming everyone experiences things differently. I hope everything works out for you!

[Big Mama]

axinite - we sure do experience thangs differently. When I am lonely I am in touch w/ my emotions. Very good point. When I am lonely I find it much more difficult to dissociate. It is down right boring after awhile when you are lonley. You've watched all the TV you can stand, an missed w/ the computer till you don't to look at it anymore. A good book and your mind wanders. Lonely sucks. It almost forces you to deal w/ life's issues. There is no escape. That's just me today. Ask me again tomorrow and I may have a different out look.

[Leed]

Others have said it very well. Before my husband died, I was never lonely. I might be alone at times when he was working in the garage or something, but it didn't bother me.

After he died (and the grieving eased) there were some times when I thought the loneliness would kill me. And then there were other times when I totally loved being alone. It's all about being comfortable in your own skin. And I've learned that now. After almost 12 years of Dave being gone, I've become comfortable in my own skin. I've learned to like myself, to become "somewhat" mentally healthy, I enjoy coming here to TRY to help others as it helps ME to do that and to go to a couple of other sites too.

God bless Lee

[Thunder Bow]

Originally Posted by Leed

Others have said it very well. Before my husband died, I was never lonely. I might be alone at times when he was working in the garage or something, but it didn't bother me.

After he died (and the grieving eased) there were some times when I thought the loneliness would kill me. And then there were other times when I totally loved being alone. It's all about being comfortable in your own skin. And I've learned that now. After almost 12 years of Dave being gone, I've become comfortable in my own skin. I've learned to like myself, to become "somewhat" mentally healthy, I enjoy coming here to TRY to help others as it helps ME to do that and to go to a couple of other sites too.

God bless Lee

Celebrate this fact. Please view this:

http://www.cavalia.net/en/odysseo/videos

[LonelyBird]

It's a great question. I know sometimes I want to be left alone... but I never want to be lonely. I know exactly how you feel though... we just moved from our whole support network and now I feel alone AND lonely.

I kinda like the way Pfrog worded it...either way big hugs to you. I hope you find some connections here and get to make some friends as well. This feels like a caring place to me.

[Big Mama]

Lonleybird I had to quit my job in May, My in home T left in June. School ended in June so did all my new friendships ( more like acquaintances) I'd made at my son's new school. It was his last year and I knew I would not be returning. All my support systems disappeared at one almost. My in home T suggested I try social networking because she knew we lived in the middle of no were and w/ no job that meant no gas money. Coming to PC was the best thing I have ever done. It has literaly saved my life. I don't know what I will do if my H threatens to not pay the phone bill and internet service. (He has threatened and demanded me to call and have it disconnected) That would be like digging my own grave w/ a spoon. Hope it never comes to that. PC has become my life line and my key to the outside world. I have made good friends who are honest. Who tell me what I need to hear even if I don't like it and are supportive when I need it to. That is a true friend, honest and kind enough t be honest and know it will hurt but love and forgive and be there for the friendship to continue. Disney World is not the greatest place on earth PC is the greatest place on earth.