[vs_1989]

Hello,
I'm 23 years old and dealt with a lot of tragedy. For some reason though I stay strong or at least to the outside world I do. Almost 3 years ago I was in a terrible crash that almost ended my life. On my 16th birthday my best friend died in my arms. When I was 14 I lost my grandma who raised me. I've dealt with 4 of my committing suicide. My life has basically been sad and depressing. After my accident happened I lost everything. All my money, the place I was living at, I had to quit school because the aftermath was too much. Now I've always been someone who's suffered from depression, I've cut myself, attempted suicide more than 5 times, and I've been on drugs. They say with tragedy comes happiness but I feel like it will never come. I know I'm still young but I just feel like nothing in my life has gone right or the way I had pictured it.

I'm writing on here tonight because I just found out that my mom and stepdad are moving to or want to move to FL this year. When I found this out I started to cry alone in my room. I don't want to move to FL. I love living in VA. Its the only place I know. All my friends are here and a guy that I've known for almost 2 years is here. We're not dating but we're taking our relationship slow. We've had our ups and downs but somehow we always ended up coming back to each other and the last time we talked he kept on asking me if we'll ever be together. We both agreed that if we just take our time with what have together that will make our relationship stronger. Even before we started talking about a relationship he's always said he would never do a long distance relationship. Tried it once and he hated it.
I know what you're thinking... You're 23, you're old enough to live on your own. Only problem with that is no one is hiring in my area. I've been looking for a job for more than 2 years. Had plenty of interviews, I have plenty of experience in retail and restaurants but its seems like employers are hiring people who have kids. So the only place I have to live is at home and I contribute what I have to the household. VA is an expensive place to live but I love it here so much. I love the having seasons, I love the open minded people, I love the diversity, I love the fact that I can go to DC and spend a whole day there just walking around. Like I said VA is the only place I know.
You may also be thinking I just want to stay here because of guy. I don't want to stay here because of guy. I want to stay here because I don't want to miss out on the opportunity or the potential relationship I could have with him. We're so much alike and he's been there for me through anything. He's even helping with my schoolwork. It seems like when I'm with him, I'm at my happiest. We joke around all the time, I never stop smiling and it seems like I get him and he gets me. No matter how weird we are I just think we have an understanding of each and our personalities.
I mentioned schoolwork.... I am going to school again after a long recovery. I just finished my first semester at a community college and I really like it there. I've always loved school and learning. I did pretty good my first semester and I'm looking forward to the second. I don't want to leave the school because transferring and all that is a lot of work and just stressful I would rather graduate with an associate's degree and then transfer to another school. Pus if you graduate the school will give you $2000 bonus to whatever school you're going to next. That's not a bad deal...
So... All in all I don't want to move to FL because I have good things going for me and I wanna see where they take me. I'm going to school, I have a great friend who I hope to be something more with, and like I said I love the area I grew up in. I just don't know how to cope. The only thing I know this issue caused me to finally cry and that if I move to FL revert to I'm gonna my old ways and they will most likely kill me.

welcome to the forums.

sorry you've been through so much- it sounds horrible

hope we can be their for you

hugs