[BrokenNBeautiful]

I have just a question for discussion.

I got hit by a car downtown, when I was 20. Ever since then, I hate crossing streets; I am always afraid a car is going to drive too fast, turn too fast, not wait for me to cross and hit me.

Today, a car turned unexpectedly without a turn signal and almost hit me.

I yelled to him to slow down because I was scared he was going to hit me and he called me a b***h. And of course that set me off more. I hate bad names! Esp directed at women!

Maybe it was wrong to yell, but is it human to react when you almost get killed?!!!

Anyone have any suggestions on how to be calm in a second when you are wondering if you are going to be dead or in an ambulance?

Please don't tell me to talk to a therapist. I can't go to one. I need feedback from the board, please.

thanks,

Carol

Hi BrokenNBeautiful
I totally understand about being nervous crossing the street. For one, since childhood people have been telling us the look both ways before crossing the street. I work in Downtown Dallas and this is my first job downtown. About a year ago I just stepped into the crosswalk (Walk was on, then changed to flashing) the car I was walking in front of suddenly started his right turn. I was dead center when he moved into me. I was lucky that he took off slowly, I saw him looking right and not at me in front of him and I had a feeling he would go. I went up on his hood and used my arms to spin off the left side of him as he turned.

He stopped and was apologizing to me and I could tell he was really sorry. His reaction stopped my anger. The guy cursing you was totally out of line, but I've seen this reaction a million times. Someone cuts you off and you honk or flash your lights and they get PO'd at you?!?!? I think that is a startled knee-jerk reaction for them to get mad, instead of being sorry. Maybe this is from a poor upbringing, who knows.

I don't know how to stop the anger when this happens and you not only were in danger, but verbally accosted on top of it. Maybe think of how this event unfolded, what could you have noticed to possibly predict to some extent the event. Think of how you are okay,,,

I wish I had a better solution for you. I know after my incident that I am hyper aware of my surroundings when I cross the street, because this type of accident happens in the blink of an eye. Hopefully some other people will contribute to this post and give other suggestions.

[H3rmit]

>Anyone have any suggestions on how to be calm in a second when you are wondering if you are going to be dead or in an ambulance?

Why, so you never yell? I don't think yelling was bad. The car has more power and the driver has the responsibility to remain calm. However, I think a way to remain calm is stay focussed on the priority of crossing safely. If yelling helps, yell, but quite often it would not. Speed of foot would be the best response.

I have never been hit by a vehicle, but I have quite a bit of observer experience with accident cases that have proved tragic for the victims. I am sometimes afraid and always cautious as a pedestrian. That seems the most productive focus to me. I don't take the risk of idiot drivers lightly!!! I hope some of this might be helpful to you.

[LovelaceF]

Why do you want to stay calm? Getting angry is normal in that instance. That surge of adrenaline can help you get out of the way in time to save your life. So he called you a name, and that was rude, but you got your point across and everything turned out fine. Maybe next time that driver will watch where he's going.

[BrokenNBeautiful]

thanks to all of you.

I am recovering.

I really appreciate it.

Carol

[whatsinaname]

I would say your reaction was totally justified in that instance. You almost got hit by a car because the driver was being careless.