[jewel2560]

Hi,
I'm 26 years old. I gave up college this past summer after 7 years of hell. I work part time for my mother at her office. I cannot work full time, I'm not stable enough even though I'm the best I've been in years.

My mother thought I needed more in my life so 3 months ago I got an amazing puppy and 2 weeks ago my parents helped me buy an apartment.

I'm excited but I still feel left behind compared to all of my friends and other people my age.

Most of my friends have full time jobs in areas they love or at least like or are graduating this year from med, law, or graduate schools.

75% of them have been in long term relationships- 3+ years, and plan to wed, are engaged, or are marred to that person. (My last relationship was 2 years ago, and all of my relationships have been disasters.)

7 of my friends have children. (Which I don't believe I can ever do with all the drugs I am on.)

And 90% of my friends do not need help from their parents or to get low-income housing, and none of them get an allowance. (My mother legally controls my financing to avoid bipolar manic spending).

My family and friends are so proud of how I am doing and how far I have come, and tell me I'm in a good place now considering the bipolar 1, the bpd, the anxiety/panic disorders, and my multiple physical health problems.

Maybe they are right, but I still feel horrible.

I feel that being able to hold down a job, pay your own way, get married, and have kids is what defines adulthood in american society and I am doing none of it.

Does anyone else ever feel like this? Or have you in the past? I just need help from people who could understand.

Thank you, Julie

[Meisjes]

Hi Julie, I don't have bipolar but have depression and am a survivor of abuses. While I'm alright now, I used to be dependent on SS for subsidy and have been on medications as well. I struggled a lot and often felt out of the loop, behind, inadequate, still am in some ways. Stablizing took at least 10-15 years due to situation/s and I've learned to not expect myself to be where everyone else is. Its one day at a time - it actually works. Now that I'm older (50) I'm thinking why was that so important to be like my friends....they're all not like each other either. Guess I'm saying give yourself time. Become what you need to be in your situation rather than how everyone else is. Don't measure yourself by what others are doing. Just do your own personal best one day at a time. Thats all that anyone needs to do.

[jewel2560]

Thank you. I guess I just haven't quite accepted that yet, I'm still trying to catch up.

[Junerain]

It really is not healthy to compare oneself to others...we are all on separate 'life paths' I have learned this the hard way. All the people I grew up with are extremely successful now...just staying in recovery from my mental illness is a huge accomplishment....I'm very open and vulnerable and suggestible..and have been bullied at all the jobs I've had over the years...but I keep working, keep plugging along...I'm part of a very encouraging support group, I help everyone there!!

My life path is different, I'm not going to try to relate to doctors or lawyers or people wihtout mental illness or people that do not have to worry about money or people that lack empathy, that do not understand.

Perhaps find a support group of your own? Even PC can be productive and helpful, hearing others who simply thank God their mental illness is not as bad as it could be...

I care about, I relate to you.... PM me anytime!!

[jewel2560]

It is just hard to accept. But thank you.

[Thunder Bow]

Stop comparing Yourself to Others! No wonder you feel miserable! Stop trying to fill the pop culture expectations and what you think you "Should" do.

Instead, do what You want to do. Be what YOU want to be! Start by Honoring yourself just as you are! Forget trying to be like everyone else! There are a million ways One can feel bad about one self, and the list is endless.

Honor yourself and who you are as who you are. There is no one else like you, no exact copy! The gift of "Self" is a wonderful gift given to you by the Universe. Honor it. Don't throw it away!

I don't know about those friends? Most people I know are much more varied than that!