[erpal]

I just returned from Easter Holidays. I spent a week with my parents and little sister and another week with my older sister and her boyfriend. I guess I have some family problems. For no obvious reason my parents don't like my older sister. Before Easter they called her and told her not to come home for the holidays. Just imagine how that would make her feel. The thing is that she hasn't done something to justify their bahavior. Maybe they don't like her choices but that's no reason to cut her off from her family. They try to isolate her and they manage it at least with my little sister. The wosrt thing is I'm stuck in the middle of it, I don't know how to act with my parents, I don't like them anymore, they make me furious with what they do. My sister sometimes feels betrayed but I can't help but pretend with my parents and trying to have a fake-good relationship with them. I'm a student so I still need their financial support. But someday they will most probably do the same thing to me, cut me off. I think I might be a lesbian and I can't help but laugh when I think how they are gonna feel when and if I ever tell them. So far, I'm still a good kid...
My little sister was fastening the whole time before Easter, she's only 13. She's 5,7' and only 118 lbs. And my mother was so proud that she fastened. She's so ignorant. I'm very worried for my sister. I tried to talk some sense to her, to eat well... But when she buys clothes and the right thing for her is label medium or large or even xl... come on people, are you kidding me??? XL for a clearly underweight person, it's rediculous and infuriating. It's madness.
My mother on the other hand has fibromyalgy, which is frankly that she's in pain all the time and there is no cure. And she doesn't do anything to help herself. She doesn't even want to drink an effervescent painkiller because it's disgusting. She prefers the pain. I read people with fb should be on antidepressants, and I think she has some issues herself, besides the illness, I think it's even genetic, because both me and my older sister have mental problems, and she won't do it. A doctor prescribed her some once, she only took them for two weeks and gave up.
My father has changed dramatically over the past years. Since his recent behavior towards my older sister he tries to be nice to me, like he overcompensates with being nice to me. When I finish university he wants me to move back in and take a post graduate class there. I want to leave as far from them as I can. But I don't want to leave either of my sisters back, especially my older sister.
Now, I was supposed to be doing a paper, it's due tomorrow, and I haven't even started. Since yesterday that I came back to my place, I'm overeating and oversleeping and over-watching films. I haven't even unpacked. I'm dissapointed in myself, I feel I'm dissapointing my sister, I feel I'm taking steps back. I feel like ****. I 'm lying to her, "Yes, I'm doing the paper, it's going good, I'm making progress, yes, I'm on page 5 now..." ****, I hope this doesn't become a habbit. ****. I just wanted to tell someone how I really feel. Sorry.

[Leed]

Bless your heart. You truly are in a bad spot. Your parents are being totally unfair for no apparent reason! And I think you're right -- they might be mentally ill.

Unless there's something you don't know about, I see NO reason for their pushing away your older sister! That is cruel and heartless and i cannot imagine how she must feel. It would do HER good to write them a letter and TELL them EXACTLY how they make her feel, with everything in that letter. She should let them know every single emotion that she feels by them ignoring her and pushing her away!

And perhaps YOU should talk to them nicely of course, about anorexia concerning your little sister. They may not be aware of anorexia and may not even believe that she may be a victim of it, but if she is 5'7" and only weighs 118lbs, she is definitely underweight and if she's FASTING, that's ridiculous! She definitely has a problem, and it IS a mental problem that needs therapy. So try to talk to your parents about it because it IS LIFE THREATENING! Anorexia can KILL.

I know it's hard for you being in the middle, and I don't blame you for wanting to get as far away from them as possible. But i also know you don't want to abandon your sisters. So it's difficult for you. But remember that YOU must live YOUR life too! You CANNOT live everyone else's life for them. They must learn to take care of themselves. You cannot be their "keeper." How are you going to have your own life if you're "keeping" everyone else?

You need to start focusing on yourself. You don't want to fail school! You need to get your papers done on time, etc! Take care of YOU. And if you need help, PLEASE talk to your counselors at school, will you? They can help can help you. Let us know how things come out, will you? I'd appreciate it -- or you can private message me. God bless & please take care. Hugs, Lee

[erpal]

I did talk to my mum about anorexia because I know it can be life threatening especially if people surrounding the person in need are unaware of the problem. I have done it in the past but now the problem is worse. When I suggested that she observes if my sister takes long in bathroom (implying that she might be puking) she seemed a little shocked. I consider that a good thing bacause she might now start paying a little more attention.
As for my older sister, she has done what you suggested in the past. It didn't help. I seriously don't know what's wrong with my parents. She has tried everything. Talking, helping around with the household, which is always a huge matter in our house...And when she dared say something about it the said "You washed some dishes once and you have the nerve to talk back?" She was doing everything in the house for two months! She's the one trying to help everyone, me with my depression and other issues, my brother when he wanted to drop out of high school or when he was taking his finals (he wouldn't have graduated if it wasn't for her), my little sister when my mum was really treating her badly... Even my parents, when my father was abroad for a year he called her every day (I guess he was lonely) and talked for hours... She tries her best and they give her credit for nothing. And still she cares. I guess she's just human, which I'm not sure I can say about them.
Anyway, the good news is I managed to discipline myself, I turned in the paper and I'm working on the next one, it's more difficult but I'm working on it for three days straight (which I rarely manage to do, discipline myself for so long, I usually leave everything to the last minute).
Thank you very much for your reply, it really gave me strength.