[RoseBee]

Greetings!

I have posted this in the Relationship forum, and got some great advice on how to cope with the situation. Now, I need advice coping with the left over emotions.

The Story (shortened):
Boyfriend has a kid and didn't tell me for 5 months. I don't date guys with kids, but since I had already fallen hard, decided to give it a shot. I have a hard time with him having a kid for several reasons I won't go into here, because that's not what this post is for. In therapy, part of my issues with this is due to personal insecurity. I don't feel very pretty most of the time, but I feel like I make up for what I lack in looks through personality, intellect, and wit. Where my insecurity comes to play is that the mother was younger (17) and (in my mind) prettier than me and therefore I can't compete with that. Logically, this makes no sense because at 17 I was running around dating and sleeping with guys, too. I was just smart enough to use protection.

Anyway, the bf and I got into a huge fight and I told him everything. He knows I have a problem with him not telling me about the kiddo, but I also told him everything surrounding it. Now that I've gotten it off of my chest, I feel better and can work through it more easily, but I also don't want to rehash the same feelings over and over again.

How do I cope and deal with the feelings that come to surface over this issue in a way that will allow me to feel them to their fullest extent so I can send them on their way without it putting in me in a strange mood or talking it out (again...and again) with my bf? Advice?

[unaluna]

I dont understand what you mean. To me it would be an ongoing issue.

[RoseBee]

Originally Posted by hankster

I dont understand what you mean. To me it would be an ongoing issue.

It is an ongoing issue, but I am trying to move past that to a state of acceptance. (IE best cast scenario: I am cool with kiddo, relationship with mom was in the past and doesn't matter, I can focus on the here and now be okay with everything. ) I am looking for ways of coping with the immediate feelings surrounding this issue so I can heal and move forward.

[Thunder Bow]

Look at your growing up. A therapist might help you zero in on past feelings that cause repeatitive actions and feelings. You are still reliving old feelings from your past issues.